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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think 6 is too young for a Valentine's disco?

40 replies

KarmaVersusGeorgeOsbourne · 09/02/2014 10:32

My DD's school is having a Valentine's Day disco next week. It is on a school night and is from 7-9pm. DD is usually in bed for 7. It is a proper 'disco' rather than a children's party, FWIW- they have hired a local DJ who I have encountered at a children's party before & I wasn't impressed for a number of reasons. He does the whole dark room/disco lights/thumping music, and frankly I thought it was awful (though I had to sit there and endure, probably much for fun for the sugar crazed childrenGrin)

DD is, of course, desperate to go. Am I being very unfair by saying no? I feel that the disco on its own is a bit much for smaller children, but I am also not entirely happy at the concept of it being a 'Valentine's Day' theme. This is the first year the school has done this.

AIBU and being a pearl-clutching bore?

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 09/02/2014 10:34

Yanbu, 6 is way too young to be encouraging this sort of thing. Shock

honeystillfortea · 09/02/2014 10:37

Isn't it more about red and pink and chocolate than romance, though?

I wouldn't be thrilled because of the timing but I don't think calling it a valentines disco means there's going to be snogging! Is it for the whole primary school?

I think I'd compromise and let her go for an hour.

Electryone · 09/02/2014 10:37

My DS was the same when he was younger so I let him go...and he was bored silly! But dark room, loud music and disco lights?? Isn't that the point of a disco!! Grin

formerbabe · 09/02/2014 10:37

Its far too young.

TravellingToad · 09/02/2014 10:38

Too young, it's too late and too loud!

MamaPain · 09/02/2014 10:38

YABU, my adult DC went to one of these when he was a primary school. My youngest DC will be attending hers this year. In reception they used to send valentines day cards just to friends, parents etc It's harmless fun.

frugalfuzzpig · 09/02/2014 10:40

7-9pm?! That's crazy, my DD would be in bed by then even on a non-school night - that's not unusual for a 6yo surely?!

On the disco thing I think YAB a little U but it depends how the school is approaching it. Our PTA arranges discos a few times a year and they're great fun and totally casual (I volunteered) - hall filled with lights and music for dancing, a quiet classroom set up with a movie for children who get overwhelmed, and a room with people doing those transfer tattoos and nail varnish (for boys too obviously :o). They get a little tuck box with a drink and snack.

It's great fun for them. They're doing a valentines one next week, it's straight after school so they'll be home by five and it means DH and I have longer to spend our first valentines alone in 7 years! :o

They aren't encouraging anything valentines-related AFAIK, no 'boyfriend and girlfriend' stuff, my DD is aware valentines day is to celebrate love, that's all it is.

DuckandCat · 09/02/2014 10:45

7-9 Shock YANBU.

Who is supervising this, are the school mad?

I also don't like the whole dark room/ super loud music thing and mostly nor do the children. The theme is also not good. I can see the girls planning their 'dates' and putting unnecessary pressure on each other.

'Valentines' is quite a loaded word, even for young children who don't really understand.

MamaPain · 09/02/2014 10:46

Also think yabu on the disco aspect. DJ, lights and music are exactly the point of a school disco, or any disco.

I can understand you may have had reservations about the Valentines theme if you weren't familiar with how it is usually celebrated for children but the disco? Yes, you are being a bore in that respect.

I would let her go. My DD has been very excited about picking her outfit for the disco and is really looking forward to it.

ScentedScandal · 09/02/2014 10:49

Yadnbu. I detest any suggestion girlfriends/boyfriends at infant and junior school. It's ridiculous. Cant they just have general friends without the faux romance side skewing it?Hmm My dc's school did have school discos at that age too, and yes dds usually wanted to go and I had no problem with having a bit of a boogie with their friends. Thankfully they never called one a Valentines disco but even so there was still an element among some of the children of one or two 'going out' which made me HmmShock. It's rather late too I agree.

RevoltInParadise · 09/02/2014 10:50

I think it is more that they are using valentines as an excuse for the kids to have a bit of a party , rather than them encouraging the kids to kiss etc. it is harmless fun.

ScrabbleBabble · 09/02/2014 10:52

6 is not too young for a valentines party

but far too young for 7-9pm!! Crivens!

BarbaraWoodlouse · 09/02/2014 10:54

DD has been going to school discos as you described since reception. I'm sure the Valentine's bit is just due to the date on which yours just happens to be falling. I'd assume the odd heart on the wall will be the only other nod to the occasion.

YANBU at the time though. 7-9 is way too late for most primary school children IMO, definitely for KS1 and younger KS2.

frugalfuzzpig · 09/02/2014 10:55

DD really doesn't see any difference between this disco and the ones they've had at Halloween and Easter. Nothing at all is different. It is just an excuse for a party, that's all! There's no additional 'romance' element to it.

Original poster
KarmaVersusGeorgeOsbourne · 09/02/2014 10:55

I probably am being a bore re: the disco. I remember getting very cat's bum over this DJ previously, because he was playing music which I felt was inappropriate for a kid's party, and it was so LOUD- I went into the bathroom and there was about half a dozen girls sitting on the floor complaining that their ears hurt.

I don't think there's going to be any snogging Hmm of course not. I think it is ridiculously late however, and I do feel quite uncomfortable about the whole theme, though to be honest, I don't have a good reason why- realistically I know it'll just be children running about drinking TipTops.

OP posts:
frugalfuzzpig · 09/02/2014 10:58

Apart from maybe as Barbara says - the odd heart on the wall and some pink decorations or something.

And where's the harm in that. Hearts mean love, but it doesn't have to be boyfriend girlfriend love. DCs love their friends, their siblings, their parents... Big deal.

Incidentally DD did have a "X is my boyfriend" phase when she started school. I wasn't that happy about it either but it is pretty common. We just nodded along and didn't really acknowledge it. It passed, no harm done. The boy is still one of her best friends.

frugalfuzzpig · 09/02/2014 10:59

The loud music would bother me if there was no alternative (like the quiet rooms I mentioned at my DCs' school)

Original poster
KarmaVersusGeorgeOsbourne · 09/02/2014 11:02

I'm really torn now, I don't know what to do Confused

DD is a very young 6 in some ways, and while part of me thinks it's lovely, another part of me doesn't want her getting a bit left behind socially among her age group

OP posts:
MamaPain · 09/02/2014 11:05

If you are concerned, is it something you can turn up to an hour in and see how she's doing?

FreudiansSlipper · 09/02/2014 11:06

i can see nothing wring with having a school disco (ds school disco was more like a rave dark room, flashing neon lights teacher pupils dancing crazily took me back Grin ) but 7-9 on a school night is ridiculous

and not keen on the encouraging the celebration of valentines so young but i am sure we made cards for our parents

TamerB · 09/02/2014 11:06

The timing is mad! Usually the younger ones would be over by 7 and the juniors following on.

derektheladyhamster · 09/02/2014 11:07

far too late. the yr 5+6 discos (halloween and easter) finish at 8.00

IshouldhavemarriedEwanMcGregor · 09/02/2014 11:09

Yep the only issue I'd have is the time - 9pm's ridic.

My kids had Valentine's Discos when they were in infant school and it was usually from about 5-6.30pm.

IshouldhavemarriedEwanMcGregor · 09/02/2014 11:10

However I would let her go - one late night won't kill her.

thegreylady · 09/02/2014 11:10

I 'd compromise. Let her go for an hour then collect her. You will probably find she has had enough by then. If she hasn't maybe you can wait till the end. I'd let her go if all her friends are going and I wouldn't worry about the theme :)