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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be driven to despair at ds weeing on the carpet.

19 replies

Filimou · 09/02/2014 09:37

2nd attempt at potty training ds (3). He was ready, was getting him ready for bath one night and he said 'I need a wee' weed on the toilet and never looked back.
3 weeks in and for the past two weeks he has been dry all day at nursery. Takes himself to the toilet when he needs to go, doesnt need to be taken, just goes and very proud of him.
However, at home he will just wee wherever he is. For instance, this morning we put his pants on and ten minutes later he just sat and weed on the carpet.
What am I doing wrong? Why wont he go at home?

OP posts:

Chippednailvarnish · 09/02/2014 09:54

You have my sympathy, my DD loves nothing more than snuggling up to her big brother on the sofa and then peeing...

Original poster

Filimou · 09/02/2014 09:57

I know chipped its driving me mad.

OP posts:

paxtecum · 09/02/2014 09:58

Do you remind him to wee?

SuburbanRhonda · 09/02/2014 09:59

Just wondering - do they take the children to the toilet at set times at nursery?

If so, is he expecting to be told at home when to go to the toilet, like at nursery? If this is the case, you might need to go back to taking him at set times at home, too.

Just comfort yourself with the fact that he is dry all day at nursery, so he can do it.

Chippednailvarnish · 09/02/2014 10:00

What about training pants - ordinary pants with toweling lining. It might save your carpet.

Misspixietrix · 09/02/2014 10:02

Is it possible he could just not be ready? My DD went really well for ages and then regressed and we had to start all over again. It took the 3rd attempt with Ds before he got there. I kept getting really frustrated until someone said to me he's probably not ready. He was 4 and around 3months when we successfully managed. In fact it was my DM that suggested going right back to basics with a new potty etc because he was frightened to death of the toilet bless him. I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Does he use the toilet or the Potty. Can you bring the Potty in the Sitting room for him to go when he pleases? Apologies if you've tried all this.

Original poster

Filimou · 09/02/2014 10:05

pax we ask if he needs to go about every 20 minutes and offer to take him. When he puts his pants on he says 'I got my Thomas pants on I need to wee wee in the toilet' and we still remind him.
Rhonda No they dont take him at set times, or even take him, he just takes himself off when he needs to go.

OP posts:

TallyGrenshall · 09/02/2014 10:05

DS weed on the carpet for bloody months. He had been trained for months with no other accidents, we would remind him to wee but he had a favourite spot in the living room. It was grim.

In the end it was bribery that made him stop. Every day he didn't wee on the floor he got 20p, then it was a week for £1 and eventually he stopped.

Vanish carpet cleaner, the bag of powder that you brush in, is very good

greenfolder · 09/02/2014 10:06

in all liklihood the nursery staff are vigilant. he is in an environment at nursery where there are frequent trips to the loo,friends going etc so he is thinking about it. prob also gets a bit of fuss for going.

at home he needs prompting.

Original poster

Filimou · 09/02/2014 10:06

misspixie He knows when he needs to go and is very independent using the nursery toilet.

OP posts:

LST · 09/02/2014 10:08

No help but my 2yo has been dry in the day since November. We have just welcomed his baby brother and he's worse now than the week we started him with no nappies

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 09/02/2014 10:13

I second the idea of rewards - 3yo ds is training and is ok mostly with wees but very reluctant with poos. We have given a variety of small toys and sweets for successful ones and now giving a sticker per poo on the toilet - 5 stickers = a toy. He is getting there - like your ds, he knows how to do it but needs extra incentives!

Misspixietrix · 09/02/2014 10:16

Have you thought about Sticker Charts at home for him? I think sometimes youngsters get too wrapped up in what theyare doing and forget to go. For every time he manages to to the toilet he gets to put a sticker on the chart. If he gets 10 he can have a treat?

softlysoftly · 09/02/2014 10:18

If he goes at nursery then he's being lazy / not caring at home. I knew DD could do it but wouldn't, other than the odd genuine accident of course which can still happen if they are distracted / over excited.

I found a combination of chocolate buttons for going in the loo and getting a bit cross when she chose to wee on the carpet worked.

I know I know you aren't supposed to add any pressure, put any negativity etc etc but it was bloody frustrating when I knew for sure she was choosing to do it, the same as any other behaviour.

Finola1step · 09/02/2014 10:20

Great that he is independently going at nursery. But even if he is not being reminded by staff, he will be seeing other children go, be hearing others be reminded and praised etc. So these will act as reminders to go when he is there even though he is not being given a direct instruction.

So he needs reminders at home too. Or at least lots if talking about the loo to clue him in.

MollyWhuppie · 09/02/2014 10:21

Sticker chart worked for us. I actually wrapped up some small presents and put them somewhere he could see, which really focussed his mind! He got a present for every 12 stickers as he would keep running to the loo just to squeeze a drop out so he could get a sticker!

BrownSauceSandwich · 09/02/2014 10:24

This might sound a bit weird, and maybe completely unhelpful, but I suspect some surfaces (absorbent ones) are more appealing to wee on than others. Perfect! And I suspect the nursery has fewer such surfaces, so it's extra incentive to go to the loo. Add that to a bit of peer pressure at nursery, and it's not a massive surprise that your son regresses a bit to old, comfortable patterns at home. Maybe he's just not quite ready to be on 24/7 toilet watch. Maybe you could offer him the halfway option of training pants, for now, on off-days.

Misspixietrix · 09/02/2014 10:52

Whats he like going for a no2 OP? (sorry!). Both my DCshad issues. For examole. Dd would willingly go for a wee on the potty / toilet but if she needed a poo with it she'd hold it. I can still vividly remember her hiding in various corners of the House to do a Poo in her Pullup! . Ds did the same and the HV and Nursery TeacheR told me it is because some children don't like the sensation and feel like they are losing part of their body. Slightly off topic but thought it worth to note.

Tailtwister · 09/02/2014 11:03

DS2 was like this and it drove me to distraction. He used to do it on the sofa too.

In the end he just seemed to grow out of it. I think it went on for about 2 weeks, but I just had to keep on reminding him all the time to try and in the end I think he got fed up with me bothering him!

I hope you get it sorted soon OP. It's SO frustrating!

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