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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that it's fine for dd to read two books before bed...?

16 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 06/02/2014 20:26

As opposed to five. I think it's fab that she gets 5 reading books to take home but she wants to read all five every night. She is 5 and her reading is painfully slow. I am a single mum and teacher and I have lots of marking/ prep to do.

OP posts:
hazeyjane · 06/02/2014 20:28

She brings home 5 reading books!! Lordy, that is unreasonable, imo!

WorraLiberty · 06/02/2014 20:28

YANBU

Just a thought though. If she didn't read the books, would you two still have that alone time?

I'm wondering if she's trying to grab your attention?

Proseccoisnotrah · 06/02/2014 20:33

Five books a night?! How do you get time to do anything else?! When I get home from work the agenda is food, bath and bed by seven. They get in one book, two at most on week nights!

redskyatnight · 06/02/2014 20:35

Surely 5 books are for the week, not for each night?? Even allowing for the fact that the early reading books are pretty short ...

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 06/02/2014 20:36

She starts kicking off if we don't read all five. Bless her! Hmm

OP posts:
Iwannalaylikethisforever · 06/02/2014 20:36

Five! Mine always get 2.
Once a week they don't read at all.

bodygoingsouth · 06/02/2014 20:36

imagine she has her reading book for the scheme and the other 4 are from the school library and her book box in the classroom.

think she is enjoying her time with you op. it's hard I remember as you can see all the other jobs that need doing but look it's probably said to death but they really really are little for the blink if an eye.

enjoy your daughter, the marking of other people's children's books are nowhere near as important. limit the books to 2 per night but make a huge effort to relax and enjoy the time with her.

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 06/02/2014 20:36

She does want my attention I know. We hardly see each other. I'm sad about it.

OP posts:
TodaysAGoodDay · 06/02/2014 20:37

5 books? Wow. Can you maybe unpack her book bag when she gets home and without her seeing you, and remove three of the books before she sees? It's great she wants to read but that's just too much at her age IMO.

Do you read any books to her? Maybe read one to her after she reads to you, that's what I do with DS.

bodygoingsouth · 06/02/2014 20:38

oh and no kicking off at 5!!! tell her it's 2 and if she kicks off its tea, bath, bed and no story. end of. masters of manipulation at this age, well any age actually. Grin

Wingdingdong · 06/02/2014 20:41

Yep, 4.5 DD reads the school book to me (and 2yo DS who seems to think this is a treat Hmm) and then I read them both a story, or else each a story separately depending on content/length. Maybe you can ask the teacher if she can put the five in on a Friday and just one the other days? At our school one book is put in the bag but children can take more if they want, so one boy's mother is regularly seen taking a dozen books out of the bag at the gate and handing them back!

bodygoingsouth · 06/02/2014 20:42

all mothers feel guilty nearly all of the time be you a sahm or a ft worker.

sure you spend time together at the weekend and holidays.

be good to yourself, honestly kids can sense and smell defeat in a parent and go for the kill. Grin remember just the 2 books!!

BertieBottsJustGotMarried · 06/02/2014 20:42

No, DS is like this too. From when I first started reading bedtime stories I had a limit of 3 per night. Now he's 5 his stories are much longer, and he sometimes reads to me as well and it can take over an hour to get through 3 - it's not sustainable. But if I relent one night and say he can have 3 or even 4 then he wants that many the next night even though he usually has one or two or we play a game instead.

Maybe you could build in some time for reading in the day as well as at bedtime, so she has time to read all 5 but not all at once and not when you need her to start falling asleep as opposed to reading all night (never thought you'd complain about that one, haha!)

I also do a bit of a cheat because I will read X number stories with him and then say if he wants to read more then he can read them himself but I won't help. But I'm teaching him to read myself because he's not at English school so we have a stack of books which are easier because he's "past" that level now. He'll usually read one or two and then get bored.

BertieBottsJustGotMarried · 06/02/2014 20:44

Please don't feel like this is a plea for your attention! It's a plea for extra stories, nothing more, nothing less.

Fit them in during the day or at the weekend, it's win-win, you get extra guaranteed one on one time, and it doesn't make bedtime drag on for ever.

DoJo · 06/02/2014 21:29

If it helps, I theoretically have the best of both worlds in that I am a SAHM who runs a business in the evenings after my son is in bed, and I STILL feel guilty because his friends that go to nursery have more opportunity to try new things/more social contact with children of different ages/a school report (that's really just me!)/more assessment of their abilities etc. There is no option which doesn't make you wonder whether you're screwing your child up, and no option that guarantees you won't so don't let story time become a millstone just because you feel bad that you are working to keep your family!

WorraLiberty · 06/02/2014 21:32

Please don't feel like this is a plea for your attention! It's a plea for extra stories, nothing more, nothing less.

How can you be sure?

Even the OP has said she wants her attention.

OP, if the book reading is too much (and 5 really is!) could you set aside 20 minutes cuddle time instead?

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