Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To bring DP's nephew wedding dress shopping?

34 replies

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 30/01/2014 21:45

DP has several nephews, but one in particular is very close to us. He's 10, very interested in fashion, and is an absolute little Sweetheart. When we got engaged he was so very excited. The last time we visited their house, he had a list of wedding dresses to show me on his laptop. He had spent ages looking up dresses that he thought I would like and saving links to them. He and I spent a good 2 hours snuggled up in front of the fire while he showed me dresses he had picked out for me (they were all gorgeous and exactly the kind of thing I'm looking for, he has excellent taste ). So, before we left, I asked his Mum (DP's sister) if she thought he might like to come along when I went dress shopping. She reckons he would love it and be delighted to be included.

My Mum was asking about dress shopping today and I mentioned that I want to bring him along. She laughed and said that it was a ridiculous idea . We won't be traipsing around loads of shops, my sister's friend owns a bridal shop, she is going to give me an appointment after the shop closes on a Sat evening, we are going to bring a few bottles of Prosecco, I'll try on a few dresses and we'll have a good old laugh. DP's nephew would love it. My Mum can't articulate why she thinks it is a ridiculous idea, but is very resistant to it, as is one of my sisters. DP's Mum has also poured scorn on the idea when I mentioned it to her. So AIBU to want to bring him along?

OP posts:

ENormaSnob · 30/01/2014 21:47

Yanbu

Krustyandthekids · 30/01/2014 21:47

Sounds like he'd be a great dress shopping companion! He might even cheer your mum up a bit!!

scarlettsmummy2 · 30/01/2014 21:48

Sounds like a lovely idea!

snuffykins · 30/01/2014 21:50

I'd be tempted to just go with him if I was you. Sounds like he'd love it. If you want to bring him then do. Don't mind the rest.

Vida · 30/01/2014 21:50

He sounds fantastic. You mum sounds like maybe she has very fixed ideas about gender roles...? She wouldn't be saying this if he was a niece, would she? Of course, there's nothing wrong with him being interested in fashion. I would bring him along, definitely. A nice way to nurture his interests.

shockedandupset · 30/01/2014 21:50

I was all ready to say you shouldn't take him, but having read your op, sounds like he'd love it.

You definitely should take him along :)

CherryRainbowwitch · 30/01/2014 21:50

i think it sounds like a lovely thing for you both to do.
is your mum worried that with it being in the evening and the wine that it will be to grown up for a 10 year old.

maybe you could set aside a day to go to a few dress shops with you dn that way you get the best of both worlds.

kali110 · 30/01/2014 21:51

Ofcourse not, but would they makehim feel awkward if he went?

kali110 · 30/01/2014 21:52

Ahhh thought he was older, that will teach me for skim reading

ZillionChocolate · 30/01/2014 21:53

I thought you were going to say you were a bridesmaid or something. Absolutely take him. Sounds like you and he would love it. Bet your mum wouldn't cause a fuss if he were a girl. If you are bigger than sample sizes, he might see some of your back and some of your bra. Less flesh than if you went swimming.

Original poster

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 30/01/2014 21:54

He would absolutely love it. He does get excluded a bit, as the other boys in the family are all in to sports and he has no interest in them. He really does have exceptional taste too. I'd give him a glass of Prosecco (tiny splash heavily diluted with lots OJ, which is fine with his parents) and he'd be in his element. I suppose I was doubting myself, as my Mum can be very forceful in her opinions and will probably sulk if I don't do what she wants. But tbh she was grumpy and sulky all through my sister's wedding dress fittings, so will probably find an excuse to sulk anyway. In fact, lovely nephew's delight at being there will probably balance out her grumping

OP posts:

meganorks · 30/01/2014 21:58

I would be less concerned that a boy is coming (as he sounds genuinely into that sorry of thing) and more concerned about his age. It sounds like you have quite a grown up night planned - after hours with booze. Maybe the other family members are worrying about not being able to relax and let their hair down. Plus if they don't know him I guess it would seem weird for them. But up to you who you take.

WilsonFrickett · 30/01/2014 22:00

Oh God bring him! He sounds lovely and I bet he's the only one who'll be 100% honest about the dresses as well! I would probably agree with DM if you were traipsing round lots of shops, but with a bridal store lock-in (sounds amazing!) yadefnbu.

Only don't drunk-buy, ok? Go back in the cold light of day to double check your favourite

Caitlin17 · 30/01/2014 22:03

Apart from your use of "snuggled" (see thread about annoying words or phrases) you are not being unreasonable.

TheNightIsDark · 30/01/2014 22:04

He sounds like a lovely nephew. Take him.

Original poster

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 30/01/2014 22:04

Thanks, all. Definitely going to bring him along. TBH, I'm deeply disappointed in my Mum, I didn't think she was so narrow minded. CherryRainbow, my Mum definitely isn't concerned about the consumption of wine around youngsters - there were many, many boozy parties in our house growing up.

Agree with the posts that say that she wouldn't bat an eyelid if it were a young niece. Also agree with posts that say it will be a great way to nurture his interests - my sister actually works in the fashion industry so he will love chatting to her.

OP posts:

Bloodyteenagers · 30/01/2014 22:06

Tell her to stop being so ridiclulous.
Of course he will enjoy it, because he has an interest in fashion. Males have an interest in fashion, nothing unusual. Just look at some of the designers. Male. But if she cannot accept it, then she should
Stay at home and sulk. But regardless he will be there.

Original poster

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 30/01/2014 22:14

Am taking on board the point about him being around adults boozing. His older sister is one of my bridesmaids, so will be there with him. I could ask DSIL to be (his Mum) to come too, if she wants to keep an eye on him. DP will be on hand to drop he and his sister home if his Mum doesn't want to come.

Wilson, he will absolutely be honest about how the dresses look . I promise not to drunkenly purchase anything. Friend of DSis wouldn't let me anyway, she will insist on a few trials before I settle on a dress. He really is a fab little Nephew, I love him to pieces.

OP posts:

Original poster

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 30/01/2014 22:23

Thanks, Bloodyteenagers. The laughable thing is that my Dad worked in the fashion industry for years. DM is inclined to get sulky about such things, if I'm being generous I'd say that she is freaked out about getting older and her DD's getting married makes her feel old. Which is, of course, ridiculous. She has form for being difficult about such things, finding a dress for her for my sister's wedding was more stressful than finding a wedding dress for my sister. Then, on the morning of my sister's wedding she had a bit of a strop as she thought that the hairdresser that my sister had to come and do her hair made it look too 'Mammyish'. She can be a bit of a handful!

OP posts:

WilsonFrickett · 30/01/2014 22:23

You're wedding dress shopping - you'll actually be totally sober (sorry to break it to you!) because you won't be drinking while dressed... The most you'll get is a tiny sip while standing in your bra.

Oh and wear really nice undies

WilsonFrickett · 30/01/2014 22:24

I really want to com now actually! You're not in Edinburgh are you?

sunshinemmum · 30/01/2014 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 30/01/2014 22:36

Ha, Wilson, I had planned on getting good and sloshed while shopping for dresses. To make it more tolerable ;) The nice undies thing I have planned for. Had to go for a bridesmaid dress fitting for my Sister's wedding after a 12 hour night shift, a 5k walk to the bus, 2 hours on 2 different hot sweaty buses, then had to peel the sweaty clothes off in the middle of a room, surrounded by the dressmaker, my sisters, a cousin and my Mum. I was disgusting and stinky . Never again!

I'm not anywhere close to Edinburgh, but my sister is going there on secondment with work in a few weeks so was planning on visiting her in a month or so. If you know of any decent bridal shops in Edi, I'd be happy to pour vino in to you while you tell me how lovely/horrendous I look in various meringues

OP posts:

ShitOnAStick · 30/01/2014 22:41

Yanbu op. Sounds like his parents are fine with it and he'll have a great time!

TheVictorian · 30/01/2014 22:56

i would take him with you, as you have said he knows the types of dresses you are interested in and as you two get along quite well he could also offer some pointers on style/designs of the wedding dresses you try out.

Flip

1 2