To think this is not a reason to have another child?

[thewholebanana]

My sisters friend wants to have a 4th child because 'everyone I know is having a third so we're not different anymore'. She doesn't want to be the same as everyone else so thinks having a 4th child will make her more special?? I am aghast she uttered this sentence!

yanbu...sounds barking

What a muppet.

YANBU!

Another thing she said was 'I won't know what to do with myself when I stop having babies, it's what I do, it's just me and I feel strange without a baby with me, I won't know how to talk to people'

Her eldest is 4 and she is 38 so she has had most of her adult life without kids. She did have a job - not necessarily a career but a decent job before kids.

Is this a woman who really, really doesn't want to go back to work!? I can't believe a grown woman would really feel this way. Unless she has spent the last 20 years breeding.

Well, it's a bonkers reason but is it any more bonkers than, 'I want one,'?

I think people can become very reliant on the automatic identity a pregnancy/baby gives them, but it isn't wrong to have a baby because you want one - that's the only reason really, isn't it?

I'm not sure people have to have an acceptable (to you) reason before they make reproductive choices, do they? If she wants another, it's none of your business, any more than it would be if she didn't want another or got an abortion or whatever.

There doesn't need to be a reason.
Infact I think just wanting a baby is really the only reason isn't it.
No one would say id like a baby because of got too much money I need something to spend it on.
I get too much sleep, I need a screaming person to keep me up all night.
Or oh how I love changing nappies.

YABU - none of your business what her reasons are!

I know someone planning 6 for this reason: it was going to be 5 (she has 4 at the minute) but a mutual friend then had #6 ....... Nuts, I think and she doesn't enjoy being around her children, either.

So what - they want to be the biggest family? I do have a couple of friends with 5, both wanted a girl. One got her daughter the fifth time, the other has 5 boys. They are both martyrs to the cause of motherhood which is annoying, but surely people have babies because they want them ... ?