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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a holiday pool for 14mo must be fenced?

69 replies

LightminTheQueem · 14/01/2014 16:10

Am I? Family keep suggesting places with unfenced pools which are close to the house and easily accessible and reacting as if I'm being a drama queen when I say they're not suitable for a toddler. Surely it's just dangerous to have an open pool with small children?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 14/01/2014 16:11

More dangerous than keeping a gun in the house. Statistics, innit.

MTBMummy · 14/01/2014 16:11

it is dangerous, and most holiday places will say that places with unfenced pools (and ponds for that matter) are unsuitable for young children.

Well at least in my experience

CMOTDibbler · 14/01/2014 16:15

Unless they will commit to being within active armslength of the toddler at all times (and with eyes open and on the toddler), then YANBU. Its just so easy for a child to slip out and not be noticed

EverAfterHigh · 14/01/2014 16:18

We pissed off family last year because we refused to go to a villa with an unfenced pool.

For us, with two under 5s a unsecured pool is an absolute no-no, won't even consider it. They thought I was being over protective and it caused bad feeling, I'm sure we did teh right thing though because you can't keep your eye on them all the time and the family that don't have young DC are out of the habit of making sure they always close the patio doors to try to keep the pool out of reach.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 14/01/2014 16:18

YANBU.

Even if they think you are being over cautious it is no fun taking a toddler on holiday somewhere where they have to be constantly watched.

Broken record "I don't want somewhere with an unfenced pool". Repeat as often as necessary. Don't elaborate, don't deviate, don't explain.

Freyalright · 14/01/2014 16:19

A house next to a road can be unsuitable. It depends if you think you can't keep an eye on the toddler. Can they wear a life jacket

Sukebind · 14/01/2014 16:20

Definately, definately not unreasonable.
My mum knows someone, as do far too many people, whose child drowned in a shallow pond in her own garden. A swimming pool in unfamiliar territory is potentially yet more dangerous.

Pixieonline · 14/01/2014 16:23

YANBU!

It's meant to be a 'holiday', not constantly worrying about your toddler falling into the pool.

I like the post above saying "don't elaborate, don't deviate, don't explain".

Floralnomad · 14/01/2014 16:24

I have a friend whose child nearly drowned in the FILs pool as a 2 yr old , was pulled out and resuscitated successfully . TBH its not worth the risk and makes for a very stressful holiday .YANBU.

HumphreyCobbler · 14/01/2014 16:27

A friend went away with her family to a place with a supposedly fenced pool, only it turned out to be unfenced. It ruined her holiday, she had to keep a close eye on all three of her small children constantly, no relaxing drink in the afternoon etc. Even then one got missed and fell over right by the pool. Family members didn't prove to hot at keeping a proper eye out either. Disaster.

Finola1step · 14/01/2014 16:27

YANBU on this one. Stick to your guns.

Yes, there are all sorts of hazards including a road outside the house. But why take unnecessary risks? Unfenced pools with small children are a big no no.

HumphreyCobbler · 14/01/2014 16:27

too hot

Justforlaughs · 14/01/2014 16:28

I am the most laid back parent, have allowed my young children to do all kinds of things that other parents go Shock, Blush They have played out on the green without me, they have walked themselves to school etc, etc, but I wouldn't even contemplate going on holiday with a toddler and an unfenced pool. YANBU

UriGeller · 14/01/2014 16:32

YANBU. Sadly accidents DO happen. Make sure its not to your baby.

Coveredinweetabix · 14/01/2014 16:32

I always go for a fenced pool where possible. All pools in France have to have some sort of safety feature, either a fence or a cover. There are many fewer fenced pools in other countries. Villa Plus is a good place to start as you can search for villas with a fenced pool.

SpookedMackerel · 14/01/2014 16:33

Yanbu. If you are worrying about a safety issue, then you won't be able to relax, and if others are dismissing your concerns, you're probably find it harder to trust them to be vigilant themselves, so you'll be the one on constant alert all holiday.

By the way, how old is your child now? Is this a holiday later in the year? If they're not very mobile yet, maybe family aren't thinking that they're going to be soon, and thinking of them as a babe in arms rather than an inquisitive fourteen month old toddler.

sheeplikessleep · 14/01/2014 16:35

Going against the grain here. We have done villa holidays with extended family and unfenced pools. Kids were only allowed out with adults, but to be fair, we were pretty much outside constantly. Door was kept locked shut if we were in making lunch or whatever.
But then everyone we went with are ultra careful. Kids ranged from 4 down to 6 months.
I thought I was a helicopter parent too!
I'm preparing to be flamed.

AliceinWinterWonderland · 14/01/2014 16:36

As someone who has had to take emergency calls from parents whose children have fallen into a pool and drowned - YANBU. It only takes a second, and it's silent. Drowning is not the splashy shrieky thing that is portrayed on television - it's silent and deadly and over before you even know it's happened.

Always get a fenced pool with children.

TwatWeevil · 14/01/2014 16:39

YANBU, I wouldn't be able to relax.

BaronessBomburst · 14/01/2014 16:40

I refused to book a villa with a pool. It just wasn't worth the extra stress. It's already bad enough being in unfamiliar territory with a small child. My family either agreed with me or humoured me. No idea which. :)

maillotjaune · 14/01/2014 16:41

Like sheep we have been to one place in France with an unfenced pool. It did have an alarm but that was only on at night as the owners plus occupants of 2 gites were generally using by day.

It was about 30 metres from the house (not sure if OP is thinking of one with the pool right outside the house) and the crawling baby the toddler the year after needed watching for other reasons too (stone stairs, wasps all over the windfall fruit...).

It all depends on you, toddler, exact layout of the place.

However YANBU - if it's not what you want then it's absolutely your right to say so.

Joysmum · 14/01/2014 16:42

It only takes for the child to slip out of sight, easily done with more adults about as each person assumes they are with one if the other adults.

Added to that, when young, they have no sense of danger and self preservation making the risk higher still.

WhereIsMyHat · 14/01/2014 16:46

When we were looking for a holiday house last year a fenced and gated pool was a must. The place we chose also had a pool alarm that worked well too. This was in France but the owners were English.

Baby friendly bolt holes is fab for finding nice but child friendly places to go.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 14/01/2014 16:47

YANBU

I would go to a villa with an unfenced pool, but only if it was just DH and I, or just us with my parents because I trust them to be every bit as careful as DH and I would be - possibly even more so.

Anyone else, and certainly if there were going to be older children there who would running in and out and leaving doors open - not a fucking chance.

meganorks · 14/01/2014 16:48

Having just looked for a Villa with a fenced pool I can understand your family's frustrations - bloody nightmare! But YANBU. If not fenced at very least in a separate area away from main garden. I don't intend on letting my little ones wander about unsupervised but with an unfenced pool I would need to be on their tail all the time. And from passed experience the more people there are to watch them the more likely they are to assume someone else is doing it.

Maybe you should try looking for suitable places? Try Googling 'fenced pool place name' this worked for me.

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