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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ainu....to deny my three year old this?.

68 replies

coco35 · 13/01/2014 13:20

My 3 year old d's is a nightmare at night. Firstly putting him to bed and getting him to sleep is a problem...then he wakes several times during the night....I am exhausted and this is really getting to me..

His sis who is 5 is an angel.

So they are both at school/crèche until 2pm...I have just had a delivery of their two new tablets which they will b very excited about

So I am thinking of telling ds he can hve his when he starts staying in bed.

He is absolutely adorable but a total monkey and at this stage he knows full well what he is doing. I honestly feel like it's All a game to him. I guess what I am trying to say is the baby is well gone out of him and that's why I need to change tactics with him

What do ye think?.. A stressed out mam in need of sleep!

OP posts:
Fudgeface123 · 13/01/2014 13:21

tries to get head around tablets for 3 and 5 year olds

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/01/2014 13:22

If this is true then a) YABU for getting a 3 year old a tablet and b) it will make his sleeping even worse!

Cheesyslice · 13/01/2014 13:23

Do you know why he's having these sleep 'issues'?

If you can rule out any underlying cause (illness etc) then YANBU to withold the present.

lilyaldrin · 13/01/2014 13:23

I'd make it a daily thing - if you stay in your bed all night, you can play on the tablet after school tomorrow. A bit of bribery works well with my 3 year old!

Cheesyslice · 13/01/2014 13:23

(YY to those questioning tablets for 3/5 year olds, but that's not what OP is asking...)

lilyaldrin · 13/01/2014 13:24

Why would a tablet make a child's sleep worse Betty?

Lemongrab · 13/01/2014 13:24

What fudgeface said..

Dogonabeanbag · 13/01/2014 13:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/01/2014 13:25

Lily - because he will be playing games and then when he starts going to sleep he is going to have it all whizzing round in his head and if he has problems sleeping I can't see how this will help.

dashoflime · 13/01/2014 13:25

I wouldn't. At three- he won't be able to grasp the idea of going to bed in order to achieve a reward later. So, I don't think it will work.

Try directing him back to bed in the firmest, most boring possible way- till he gets the idea.

The tablet is a separate issue

olympicsrock · 13/01/2014 13:26

I think bribery might help. Agree that tablet will not necessarily help sleep. We've had similar trouble recently with DS and bought a groclock. It has been very helpful.

Seeline · 13/01/2014 13:26

Withholding a present isn't going to stop him waking up at night.
Being told his sister is an angel probably isn't going to help either. All children are different.
How is his behaviour generally - is it just getting him to bed that's a problem or are other situations difficult eg getting dressed, behaviour outside the house?

Joysmum · 13/01/2014 13:27

When my DD had sleep issues it was solved by putting her to bed later and ensuring she woke up at the same time every morning. Not saying that would work in all cases, just pointing out that in some cases we might expect kids to need more sleep than they do.

dashoflime · 13/01/2014 13:27

hmm loads of mums are saying a three years old can understand rewards and consequences. Maybe I am underestimating 3 year olds. Mine is 18mths so just ignore me

ParenthoodJourney · 13/01/2014 13:28

YABU.

It would be unreasonable to try and explain this to a 3 year old. Your sister can have one but you cannot. I imagine not only will it cause massive upset it will cause a lot of sibling rivalry. I wouldn't suggest comparing his behaviour to his sisters and treating her but not him.

How about sticker charts/ reward charts/ marble jars.
for every so many stickers he collects he can have a token prize (pound shop toys or something similar maybe after a week of stars?)
Look up marble jar rewards. Apparently, they are better for boys as they are more physical.

There is a great chart here www.amazon.co.uk/Magnetic-Star-Chart-Reward-Large/dp/B001DCJT9M/ref=pd_sim_by_7

Is it an Ipad or an innotab type thing? Innotabs are great and very educational and less addictive. Definately think about limiting their time spent on the tablets. You may be able to use time on the tablet as a reward rather than the whole gift itself.

Also, i have read some great reviews on GroClocks for keeping pre-schoolers in bed.

Mumof3xx · 13/01/2014 13:28

I used computer game bribery to get my then almost 4 year old to poo in the toilet
He had to have a poo on the toilet every day to play disney channel games

It worked

Boreoff456 · 13/01/2014 13:29

For god sake if she wants to get her kids a tablet each. That's up to her. My 9 year doesn't have one. But that's my choice.

OP if you think its just a behaviour thing, try it. But I think the rolling basis is best.

lilyaldrin · 13/01/2014 13:30

Betty - why would you think he will be playing games at bedtime Confused

Boreoff456 · 13/01/2014 13:31

Oh and my almost 3 year old understands rewards, even if its a next say reward. So its not beyond all 3 year olds.

lilyaldrin · 13/01/2014 13:32

dashoflime - my 3 year old totally understands "if you stay in your bed all night you can have x tomorrow". It's the first thing he mentions in the morning if he has stayed in bed until the right time on his clock!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/01/2014 13:33

I don't know Lily - a 3 year old with a tablet?? Anything is possible.

I say this as the mother of an 11yo who still doesn't sleep and I know for a fact if he gets extra time on his console but still comes off way before bedtime it does affect the way he goes to sleep.

Beamur · 13/01/2014 13:34

I used bribery - or shall we call it 'positive incentives - to potty train my 3 yr old. It can work very well to reinforce good behaviour.
I'd also suggest you offer a time slot on the tablet for the next day for staying in bed that night. Don't allow endless time on it or it will lose it's value as an object to work towards.

wobblyweebles · 13/01/2014 13:34

I would give it a go.

Janorisa · 13/01/2014 13:35

My DD understood the link between behaviour and rewards when she was 3, so it may work. If he is just playing games with you then it's worth a try...

lilyaldrin · 13/01/2014 13:36

Betty, anything is possible. She might give him a tablet and then stop feeding him too Hmm

What bizarre assumptions to make.

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