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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate my body only 4 weeks after giving birth...stretch marks

27 replies

SupermansGirl · 12/01/2014 23:34

Stretch marks everywere!! I hate them they are thick red and ugly. I wont let DP anywere near my stomach because the texture i get changed in the bathroom now.

Im only 23 and i feel like i will never get my body back...how have your stretch marks turnt out? Any recomended profucts?

OP posts:

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 12/01/2014 23:40

Awwwww lovey - it may not be much consolation to you now, but they WILL fade and become almost unnoticeable in time, honestly.
I have LOTS - being fat for a lot of my life, and five children have given me a road map of them, but they DO fade and are hardly there at all after a while, really.
I've never used any of the various products they advertise, and mine faded anyway, so don't distress yourself so soon after giving birth, give them time.
I bet your DH hardly even notices them. Don't fall for all the "sleb claptrap" about how Starlet X got her "bikini body back 10 minutes after having triplets" and all the rest of that shite the magazines spout either - you will get back to how you were, but it takes time, no matter what the adverts promise.

Timpani · 12/01/2014 23:41

I promise you they will fade. 6-9 months and they'll be silvery. Mine are barely noticeable at all now. Haven't used any products x

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 12/01/2014 23:43

I'm not bothered about mine anymore, hopefully your body confidence will improve again with time, looking in the mirror can be a bit alarming that soon after giving birth but only to you! Apparently, bio-oil is good but they do fade as well. I know this sounds a bit cliche and not very helpful but don't forget what your body has done and how worth it it is.

Kiwiinkits · 12/01/2014 23:48

Give yourself 7-8 months before being too self-critical. It does take time to bounce back. You will.

I made the mistake of rushing too early back into a vigorous exercise regime. As a result I damaged my hips and ligaments. It has taken a lot of physiotherapy to get it even remotely right again. Still not completely right and I will never do another triathlon or half marathon again. All from being a bit vain.

For long term scars, Trilogy rosehip oil is your friend. It is miracle stuff.

riskit4abiskit · 12/01/2014 23:53

I have always had masses of silvery lines all over my boobs and sides from being a teen. Must have had a massive growth spurt at some point, so sympathy here!

4mths about baby born now and they are no worse than before. Im sure yours will fade too.

KareKare · 12/01/2014 23:56

My sister had terrible red stretch marks after pregnancy.

I won't lie and say they have disappeared, but they have faded a lot.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 13/01/2014 00:34

I feel your pain! I was 23 when my DS was born also and though i have never been particularly small pre ds I had a flat, stretch mark free stomach. I have never 'got it back' the red stretch marks faded to silvery lines but the texture of my stomach has changed - the lines are indented iykwim. NO ONE has seen my stomach since, I wont even look myself.

Original poster

SupermansGirl · 13/01/2014 00:42

Vampy They are so worth it! It just gets me down, i got engaged in Dec and we are planning our holiday next year but im just not excited because all im thinking about is sitting on the beach covered up!

OP posts:

intheround · 13/01/2014 00:46

They will turn a silvery colour with time.
They tell a story of part of your life, and the great job your body did of growing a baby.

TulipOHare · 13/01/2014 00:46

They fade. I don't notice mine any more.

What I hated was the general soft wrinkliness of the whole stomach area - but again, it goes. I felt OK about my body a few months after giving birth the first time.

Be kind to yourself. Think of what an amazing thing that body has done, and treat it kindly. Take a long hot bath whenever you get the chance, and follow it up with some luxury body oil. Dress it in comfortable, comforting, nice clean clothes.

The best baths I ever took were the ones I had straight after coming home from hospital after giving birth. I felt like I'd been in a battle, and now it was finished and I'd won and all I had to do was recover

Original poster

SupermansGirl · 13/01/2014 00:50

Tulip I couldnt have a bath for 3 weeks incase it msde my stitches disolve but oh boy i enjoyed that bath when i could!!

Someone once told me too look at your stretch marks as battle wunds and that your a tiger who has earnt her stripes.

OP posts:

BaronessBomburst · 13/01/2014 00:55

They will fade honestly! I'm fine about my body now, although I think DS was about 2 before I really felt like myself again. 4 weeks isn't very long. It will have improved before your holiday.

NatashaBee · 13/01/2014 00:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pricklyPea · 13/01/2014 03:58

At 4wks I still looked pregnant. I had spilt stomach muscles and what looked like a tree in stretchmarks around my belly button. I went from a tiny size 8 to 4stone heavier pretty much in the last trimester. I thought it was the end for my stomach, my horrible mother in law said I still looked pregnant etc.

By four months I'd lost most of the weight but I still had wrinkles and a weird belly button but now at 6 months everything seems to have gone pretty much back including the split muscles which were apparently going to need surgery they were so bad (!) the giant oak tree stretch mark has shrunk to a silver birch and I can't really see it.

I still have not much tone in my stomach but trust me if you had seen the size of me you'd never have thought it was going back.

Drink plenty of water, moisturise the skin with something that's not going to aggravate the skin and forget about it for a few months until your womb has retreated, ligaments less loose and then you can start to think about it. Trust me.

stopgap · 13/01/2014 04:16

I didn't get any in either of my pregnancies, but I have a fair few on my hips and inner thighs from years of working out, and they will fade to the point you won't notice them at all. I promise.

Also, invest in a dermaroller.

Lydiejo · 13/01/2014 05:09

I also had my baby at 23 and felt ruined. I hated my stomach in the months after giving birth. I gained a lot of weight while pregnant. Finally I started working out to DVDs and started tracking my weight, inches, etc and eating healthy. It made me feel amazing and I look great now. My stomach looks mostly flat and the stretch marks fade. Go easy on yourself for the first few months but know that with some work and dedication you can have your body back

EmmaBemma · 13/01/2014 05:16

My skin is very prone to stretchmarks. I got them all over my boobs as a teenager, then my inner thighs, then when I was pregnant, my lower belly and lower back. You hardly see any of them now and I don't mind them at all.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 13/01/2014 06:17

I found it weird that my DP ( now DH) still found me attractive after having DC1.

4 years on mine are still bad, but I have grown to accept them

Shitehawke · 13/01/2014 06:25

I love mine! No shit, I actually do. I'm proud to have sacrificed my tight skin for my ds. I guess stretch marks are nature's way of letting you know its not about you any more.

DayAfterYesterday · 13/01/2014 09:25

They do fade but if they are thick they stay noticeable IMO. I wish I only had some on my tummy, I got them on my stomach, hips, boobs, bum, thighs, back of calves plus pregnancy left me with varicose veins on top! So no skirts, shorts, dresses, bikinis on the beach for me,let's not even get me started on the empty boobs pregnancy ruined my body, so could be worse....

impatienceisavirtue · 13/01/2014 09:32

Everyone told me when I had DS1 that there would come a day when I didn't care anymore. I didn't believe it for a second and considered all sorts of drastic measures.

But whadda ya know - two more kids later and I really don't care. You can't see them with clothes on, a man that loves you won't care (my DH actually finds them attractive :/), and though you won't feel like it now, whether they fade well or not you eventually won't care and will still feel attractive with them. And mine are awful - talking from the top of my ribs to my hips, like a road map of London.

Bloodyholly · 13/01/2014 09:40

They will fade- mine were barely visible after a year (I have them back thanks to newborn DD). In my opinion they texture is more noticeable because the skin is still loose after such a big stretch, so as you begin to tone up again it won't seem so bad.

As for your holiday next year- if you still feel uncomfortable, get a light spray tan before you go.

ThreeBecameFour · 13/01/2014 09:43

I didn't have any with dd. I had them with ds born 5 months ago. I did exactly the same things withe each pregnancy. They are fading. I use Bio Oil. I also hate my wobbly belly and overhang after 2 c-sections even after working really hard to get back into shape. But I do recall after having dd, 6-12 months following having the baby your body does return to it's old shape...plus you do just get used to a new body which produced your children :-)

specialsubject · 13/01/2014 09:51

they will fade. No products work (it's all snake oil and lies) so don't waste your money.

are you ok mentally? This is not a normal attitude which makes me think you may need some help. Please don't push your partner away.

livelablove · 13/01/2014 09:54

I know you are probably only joking when you say you "hate" your body, but I have learned that words can affect how you feel more than you might expect. Try not to use those strong words even to yourself, instead say something like "I am proud of my body for giving me lovely baby and it is getting back to good health very well" every time you think something a bit negative about how you look. Think how hurtful it would be if someone else said those things to you. Well it also hurts your self worth if you keep saying it to yourself. I know it may sound a bit woo, but it does work.

I'm not saying you shouldn't try to have the best skin you can, but be kind to yourself don't put yourself down.

I bet your partner doesn't want you to get inhibited and hide in the bathroom. So be proud of your body and take care of yourself.

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