Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit sad that I didn't get any presents...

26 replies

ArtemisatBrauron · 25/12/2013 11:42

even though I agreed it with DH ages ago? We decided not to get gifts this year as we both have a history of going overboard and we are trying to be better with money. In hindsight, it might have been less grinchy better to agree on a small budget for some token gifts because I woke up feeling a bit Sad at the empty space under the tree! I know I am lucky to be healthy, have nice things to eat and have a nice DH etc but I do feel a bit sad...
come on, tell me I am being a materialistic idiot and need a grip!

OP posts:
thegreylady · 25/12/2013 11:48

Did you buy anything for him? I agree a little surprise or a small stocking would have been lovely but you agreed not to :(

Original poster
ArtemisatBrauron · 25/12/2013 11:51

I didn't, because we'd agreed and I knew he'd stick to it and he'd feel guilty if I bought him something. Sad

Wish I'd negotiated for a little stocking now! Ah well, next year! Xmas Smile

OP posts:
DidoTheDodo · 25/12/2013 11:52

Why don't you agree a small budget to buy each other something in the sales? I know it's not the same but it might help a bit. You could have presents on 6th Jan. Isn't that what they do in Russia?

badtime · 25/12/2013 11:55

Yes, they celebrate Christmas in early January in Eastern Europe (and some other places like Ethiopia), because their churches still run on the Julian calendar.

Get some presents then, and say that it is a very old fashioned Christmas.

SantasComingEarlyHisSackIsFull · 25/12/2013 11:59

PM me your address and I'll send you a pressie OP. Happy Christmas.

NaiceAm · 25/12/2013 12:02

At least you had agreed this in advance!

I bought my DH lots of presents from our 3 DCs and me - none very expensive but I spent months carefully buying them and wrapping them even though I have a 2 year old and twin babies.

I got nothing from DH because he didnt get to john lewis in time Sad. Im trying to pretend Im OK but I feel like he doesnt see me as a person anymore. I need to get a grip! I understand how you feel OP

RedLondonBus · 25/12/2013 12:04

Why John Lewis? Wouldn't any shop do?

NaiceAm · 25/12/2013 12:07

He said he had ordered something from there on 23 Decwhich he needed to collect yesterday.

ThistledownAndCobweb · 25/12/2013 12:10

DH and I don't buy each other gifts, this morning I was lying in bed and I heard an ominous rustling downstairs and was convinced he was trying to wrap something.
I lay in bed feeling like a real meanie and wondering why he had broken our agreement.

Turned out the cat was playing with yesterday's newspaper - huge relief on my part and a renewed agreement not to exchange presents at Christmas.

FutTheShuckUp · 25/12/2013 12:12

Nor did I, but the fact he spent his money on getting more things for the kids makes me far happier than any gift I could get. I love seeing the kids faces its the best part of it all for me

Original poster
ArtemisatBrauron · 25/12/2013 12:16

haha Santascoming I'm not begging, I have lots of nice things to eat, nice warm house and booze for later. It's my own silly fault I have no pressies and I know I am being childish to feel Sad about it!

OP posts:
Original poster
ArtemisatBrauron · 25/12/2013 12:30

Thanks naice Wine In some ways I feel worse because I brought it on myself Xmas Grin

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 25/12/2013 12:30

You didn't buy him a gift so not sure why you expected one?

Original poster
ArtemisatBrauron · 25/12/2013 12:32

No, I didn't expect one, I just feel a bit Sad in the reality of not getting one! I knew neither of us would be giving/receiving gifts, and I thought it would be fine but woke up and felt a bit disappointed, ifyswim? I know I am being silly Xmas Smile

OP posts:
SantasComingEarlyHisSackIsFull · 25/12/2013 12:34

Ok then. I knew you weren't begging, I just wanted to make you feel better.

I had this scenario once OP. I didn't like it, so we just do stocking fillers now.

SilverApples · 25/12/2013 12:35

We have a set limit of a tenner for adults, and have had for a while.
It's the imagination involved which is the gift, I think.

CoffeeTea103 · 25/12/2013 12:37

Maybe next year agree on a small budget then at least you will be getting a present and something reasonably priced.

snowyowl70 · 25/12/2013 12:39

My DH has just had a large amount of money (IMO) from our savings to "treat" himself to a new racing bike, had generous cash gift from me to buy a flash helmet and is now talking about needing to go sales shopping - all very well for him but I have a small gift worth less than £10. Don't get me wrong it was something I wanted but I am desperately in need of some new clothes having just lost 3 stone which will have to wait now as he needs a "treat". No Christmas card , don't even think he's wished me Merry Christmas. Things don't normally bother me as I really am not materialistic it's more feeling like I don't matter that's upset me :(

Original poster
ArtemisatBrauron · 25/12/2013 12:41

coffee I will do, the reason we did this is because last year we set a budget (I think it was max £50) and DH went way over it and I didn't, so I felt terrible giving him a dvd, whiskey and jumper while he handed over a pile of presents which cost £££ Confused

I just need a way of making him stick to the budget!

santa thanks Xmas Smile I thought you were alluding to the many "all my children have smallpox and we only have one turkey leg to gnaw between 17 of us" threads Xmas Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
ArtemisatBrauron · 25/12/2013 12:42

aww Snowy Flowers I feel like a nob now for moaning! Hope you have some Wine and nice food at least

OP posts:
Slinkysista · 25/12/2013 12:50

I could have written your post and I have to say quite surprised that I feel quite annoyed that I didn't get anything!

AmGrowingAnAwesomeTree · 25/12/2013 12:51

SnowyOwl70 Whereabouts are you Snowy? I have SHEDLOADS of frickin gorgeous! clothes and in many sizes? I needed meds that meant weight flucuated but I still needed my '3' sets of 'wardrobes (1 mum set and 2 different 'work' wardrobes for 2 very different aspects of career!) PM me?

OP I feel your pain and I DON'T think you are remotely whingey (lack of forethought for the reality of nada to open, yesXmas Grin but whingy, def NOT!) Been there and it isn't great; it's not so mcuh the gifts per se but fact have NOTHING under the tree that's yours and so nada to actually unwrapSad And yes, we ALL know there are worse things in the world but that doesn't change how crappy the aforementioned feels!

Happy Christmas to all - be you gift-laden or otherwiseXmas Smile

snowyowl70 · 25/12/2013 12:57

ArtemisatBrauron sorry, I wasn't trying to detract from your disappointment. I think if we had agreed on no gifts it would seem a good idea at the time until Christmas morning! We have friends who as a family have a competition to get the most and silliest gifts for their secret Santa for £5 !! Pound shops, charity shops etc all utilised to their full - perhaps that would work for you ? Think I am just feeling bit sorry for myself - I have 3 lovely kids, have a comfortable, warm home and plenty of food - I am a lot better off than many this year :)

ShinyBauble · 25/12/2013 17:18

Why don't you head out to the sales and buy each other a present?

superstarheartbreaker · 25/12/2013 19:31

Am I the only person who thinks it lovely to buy the one you love a token gesture such as a bottle of wine/ cheese/ smelliest even if you don't do a big gift? Needn't cost much. This thread reminds me why I will never make such agreements with people not to exchange gifts. It doesn't have to be big but the thought is nice.