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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in not allowing my small dd (reception) on the coach

60 replies

TokenGirl1 · 18/12/2013 11:44

for a school trip and driving her instead? The coach only has lap belts and the school don't want her to use a booster seat.

She is the size/weight of an average 3 year old. In my opinion, if there is an accident she could be seriously injured wearing a lap belt around her abdomen as the belt is provided for adults not small children.

I'm sure they think I'm being overprotective but I've read the advice on car seats and there's a reason why small children are not supposed use belts around their abdomen.

OP posts:

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 11:46

YABU. They can't allow ONE child to use a booster! If you want her to miss out, then it's up to you of course.

kinkychristmas · 18/12/2013 11:47

She's your child, do what you are comfortable with.

Original poster

TokenGirl1 · 18/12/2013 11:47

She won't be missing out, I'd drive her, drop her off and pick her up at the end.

OP posts:

LifeofPo · 18/12/2013 11:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HankyScore · 18/12/2013 11:48

Lap belts are horrendously dangerous even for bigger kids (and adults).

Yanbu at all.

crikeybadger · 18/12/2013 11:48

If you feel reassured by driving her then do it.

procrastinatingagain · 18/12/2013 11:49

YANBU. It doesn't sound safe for your daughter. She won't miss out if you drive her there anyway.

Northumberlandlass · 18/12/2013 11:50

YABU - the bus trip is the most fun part & she'll feel left out if you push this point.
You sound very overprotective

Bramshott · 18/12/2013 11:51

If that's what you feel most comfortable with, and the school are happy, there's no reason why you shouldn't. It might be worth checking about the belts though - most coaches have shoulder and lap belts these days.

I do have some sympathy as DD2 is very small (just over 1 metre aged 6 1/2), but coaches are statistically very safe - they are driven by professional drivers, generally fairly slowly, and are very robust in the event of a crash.

procrastinatingagain · 18/12/2013 11:52

Isn't the problem that on adults the lap belt goes across the pelvis/top of thighs area, but on small children the belt goes across the abdomen, so it there is a collision, all the impact is absorbed by the internal organs? Doesn't sound too OTT to be worried about this imo.

Original poster

TokenGirl1 · 18/12/2013 11:55

That's exactly it procrastinating. That is my only reasont o be concerned. I'm happy for her to go on the trip apart from that.

OP posts:

WilsonFrickett · 18/12/2013 11:55

If you want to drive her, that's fine. However, the horror stories you hear about wrt to coach crashes almost always involve motorway driving/driving in bad weather/driving overnight to catch ferries abroad etc. The risk of a coach going from your DD's school (to the panto I assume?) in the next town being involved in a crash is tiny.

Last year DS school cancelled a trip where they were all going to go on the normal bus because of bad weather. The buses were still running but they felt the risk was too high.

littleducks · 18/12/2013 11:56

It's not a good idea, half the trip fun is singing songs on the bus. DS knows all the landmarks on the way to butterfly world from his reception trip, the journey is pretty important.
They sit next to their partners who they then walk about with and sometimes in their groups with their adult. I think your dd would miss out and statistically coaches are pretty safe due to their size in the case of a collision.

Ubik1 · 18/12/2013 11:57

I'm sure I've read this before....

friday16 · 18/12/2013 11:59

Cars are about eight times more dangerous per mile than coaches (cars: 6.1 deaths per billion passenger kilometres in 1981 falling to 2.5 in 2006, as seatbelts were introduced and made compulsory), coaches pretty well flat at 0.3 deaths per billion passenger kilometres. (Social Trends 39, ONS).

So you can take your car, but it's much more dangerous than travelling by coach.

HumphreyCobbler · 18/12/2013 11:59

all the coaches I have taken children on lately have had adjustable shoulder belts and I have crippled my back by making sure all were appropriately adjusted.

Are you sure about the lap belts? I would not want to send my child on a bus without appropriate safely harnesses.

LifeofPo · 18/12/2013 12:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick · 18/12/2013 12:00

The bus bit is one of the best bits.

onlyfortonight · 18/12/2013 12:02

Lap belts are a horror and I would be very unhappy for my child (or myself for that matter) to use them. I always felt they were dangerous, and I had that confirmed a few weeks ago when I saw an X-ray of a significant spinal fracture (all the way through) which had been caused by a lap strap holding the bottom half still, but allowing the torso to be flung forward. This x-ray was of an adult too! I would also be campaigning to have the school fit 3 point harnesses in the minibus too.

(I'm a medical student BTW...)

everlong · 18/12/2013 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

youmakemydreams · 18/12/2013 12:04

Yabu and Friday is right statistically you are more dangerous driving her. Also impact in accidents is very different to car impact which with that makes it far safer on a coach and why booster seats are not a requirement on these trips.

thebody · 18/12/2013 12:05

Hi op, dear to my heart as my dd was badly injured on a school trip coach crash. She went through the window as her lap belt snapped.

It's a very very rare occurrence. I know that and you know that. But do what your heart/sense tells you.

Your child your choice.

friday16 · 18/12/2013 12:06

I'm a medical student BTW

Then you'll have access to epidemiologists and medical statisticians who can explain the statistics to you.

A rational response to "lap belts are a bit rubbish" would be to travel by coach, but not fasten the lap belt. It's still massively safer than driving.

cory · 18/12/2013 12:07

Imho she would be a lot safer on the coach without any seat belt at all than in a car.

I've been on a coach which was run into by a car. Ds and I were at the end where the collision was and we barely felt the bump; if it hadn't been for the noise we wouldn't have realised anything untoward had happened. The car was scrap metal. No way would I want my child in a private car if there was the safer option of a bus, coach or train available.

moldingsunbeams · 18/12/2013 12:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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