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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take 10 week old onto hospital ward

23 replies

roweeena · 17/12/2013 05:45

I have two DS one 27 months and one 10 weeks. Ds1 had to go up to A&E with his dad last night with an asthma attack, last time he was this bad he needed a three night stay.

We have no family close by who can help us and I want to help out my DH. I know that he won't have got any sleep as they will have has to give DS medication at least every hour. DH worked a 14hr day yesterday before having to take him.

So my question is do you think it is ok for me to spend the day on the ward with 10week old so that DH can come home & get some sleep? Last time we were in A&E, DS2 was 4weeks old and I was given my matching orders by the drs as the risk of infection was too high.

OP posts:

kreecherlivesupstairs · 17/12/2013 05:47

TBH I don't think you've got any alternative.

ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow · 17/12/2013 05:52

I have an ebf 6 week old who refuses bottles. I also have a 6 yr old. Wild horses wouldn't keep me away from the ward to be with my 6 yr old and since I am my 6 week old's only food source, he'd have to come too.

YANBU and I hope your DS improves and gets home quickly

Original poster

roweeena · 17/12/2013 05:53

I know that's what I think, just hope the ward staff are understanding of the situation - it must be quite common these days? Not ideal but I don't really have much choice

OP posts:

goodgrief54 · 17/12/2013 06:45

Yadnbu the ward will be alot better geared up than a&e environment. Unfortunately you do not have a choice. is there anyone you can ask that can come over to take dc2 for a walk for an hour or so to get them some fresh air? good luck,I hope all is well.

Original poster

roweeena · 17/12/2013 07:07

Just spoken to DH he is still in A&E as no beds on wards but just about to have drop put in as not any better. A&E have advised against me going down with 10 week old but then say they can't stop me.

Bag packed with all the things we forgot and just feeding DS2 and then heading down but have a feeling it is going to be a long slog for DH

OP posts:

Sillybillybob · 17/12/2013 07:10

I hope you get it sorted. DS has cancer so we spend a lot of time in hospital and they've recently banned under 5's(!!!!) who aren't in treatment being in the Children's hospital.

Until then I think each baby was dealt with on a case by case basis but generally strongly discouraged. But if you have no other choice...

Bunbaker · 17/12/2013 07:18

I think it is the risk to your baby that is the problem. Your baby won't have had all his immunisations and with the high risk of him getting norovirus or bronchiolitis the hospitals are keen to reduce the risks by not having small babies in hospital unless they need to be there.

I hope the situation improves very soon.

Booboostoo · 17/12/2013 07:28

What a difficult situation to be in OP, I feel for you!
Hope your DS has a bed by now and is feeling better.

Is there absolutely no one who can help you out by keeping the baby for a few hours? My DP was in hospital recovering from an operation for a week when DD was 6wks old, in a country where he didn't even speak the language very well and with no family around. In desperation I asked my GP for ideas and he had a patient who was a retired nursery teacher. He put me in touch with her and she came over and looked after DD for 4 hours each day so I could rush to the hospital, see DP, chat to his docs and translate and rush back.

AliceinSlumberland · 17/12/2013 07:29

I know it's probably not what you want to hear but my DB caught meningitis from being taken onto a hospital ward at 6 weeks old. He's fine now but was a very scary time, so if there's anything else you can possibly do id try to avoid it.

Sirzy · 17/12/2013 07:31

At this time of year with the amount of bronchi babies who will be on the ward I would try to avoid it. But Unfortunatly it sounds like you have no choice :(

Hope he feels better soon

starofbethlehemfishmummy · 17/12/2013 07:38

I dont understand why people are saying "there is no choice". The child has his father with him. Yes I know the dh will be tired but, well thats tough! I would not put a baby at risk when actually there is a choice.

BubaMarra · 17/12/2013 07:40

I wouldn't do that, my baby had bronchiolitis when she was 7 weeks old, why risking health of another, even more vulnerable child?

Badvocatyuletide · 17/12/2013 07:42

Oh gosh.
Is there really no one who can help?
I wouldn't risk a baby's health, sorry.
:(

Shakirasma · 17/12/2013 07:47

Sorry you are in this position OP

But tbh, wild horses wouldn't make me take a baby anywhere near a hospital unless they were the patient. Hospitals are a melting pot of germs and viruses, many of them very dangerous to the very young.

The advice is there to protect your baby rather than the patients, they don't want to see your child ending up there as a patient rather than a visitor x

ashamedoverthinker · 17/12/2013 07:49

I wouldnt want to go against medical advice.

I personally would not want to risk infection - I would rather leave DH to sleep as best he can than risk my baby.

MiniSoksMakeHardWork · 17/12/2013 08:11

Unless you are breast feeding yabu. Even then, I'd go in for the bare minimum of time for dh to grab a shower (children's wards have parent facilities) and get something to eat. Dh will be given a z bed so will be able to get some sleep tonight. It's part and parcel of being a parent.

I've been there and done it. On several occasions. But at the end of the day we manage because we are parents. Your ds has someone who can be with him. You can be at home with the baby.

If you really want to go up to the hospital I'm sure you have a friend who could watch baby for you for a few hours to allow dh to come home and have some sleep before returning. But taking a young baby on to a children's ward where you won't be able to give your poorly ds 100% attention, where baby risks picking up other illnesses and where other children may be so poorly they don't appreciate a screeching baby who doesn't need to be there. Well it's not the best idea really.

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle · 17/12/2013 08:50

I wouldn't risk it - DH will cope, lots of us have done it. Sitting in hospital with DS for weeks when he was tiny totally cured my inability to sleep anywhere other than a bed. I am now the master of powernaps on uncomfortable chairs.

Better that ds1 gets well quickly with dad there and no risk to the baby than risk baby getting ill and potentially you having to spend Xmas away from ds1 with a poorly little one.

Horrible situation op but a couple of days in hospital won't hurt DH. Go down, give him the baby for a bit and spend a couple of hours there but i really wouldn't take the baby in.

maddening · 17/12/2013 08:56

Ask if any side rooms are available to sit in with the dc?

meddie · 17/12/2013 10:23

If you have no other option then you need to be rigorous with your hand washing. wash them when you enter the ward then before you leave and after you have touched anything.

Breadkneadslove · 17/12/2013 10:33

Is it not possible that you go in with baby hand him to DH who then leaves immediately for a few hours and you stay with DS1?

landrover · 17/12/2013 11:42

Yes, why not give your hubby ds2 to keep at home, get some sleep and you stay at the hospital?

Quoteunquote · 17/12/2013 11:46

Don't risk it even if the let you in, you may well find they ask you to take the baby out, which would mean you lave child without a parent there,

Our local hospital wouldn't allow it.

bluecheeseforbreakfast · 17/12/2013 11:52

I really wouldn't risk it. There will be children there with rs virus. I personally wouldn't put my dp's sleep and an older child's desire to see their mum over keeping a small baby away from a potentially dangerous illness.

One of the first questions they asked us when my ds was admitted to hospital was do you have a family history of asthma as that is a risk for a more severe reaction.

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