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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel ds family birthday lunch?

4 replies

appletarts · 11/12/2013 16:40

My ds doesn't know they were meant to be coming but I have just cancelled his family birthday lunch (he is having a party with friends later). I cancelled it because my sister and I have a long battle which has never got solved and she has started being cold and distant with my children. My mother went nuts on the phone at me the other week because I refused to say she was a 'perfect mother' (she emotionally abused us all for years). My brother threatened to come and beat me up because my mum went hysterical on the phone. My niece is following in her mothers footsteps and is becoming a bit game-playing and frosty. So I cancelled his family lunch. Just feel so sad I had to do that but I honestly think we might be better off without them.

OP posts:
PumpkinPie2013 · 11/12/2013 16:43

YANBU

Your son doesn't know it was planned and frankly it doesn't sound as if the atmosphere would be pleasant for anyone which isn't what your son wants on his birthday.

He will enjoy time with you and the party with his friends - hope you have a good day x

Greensleeves · 11/12/2013 16:43

I would cancel the lot of them, permanently (I did, in fact). I decided my children didn't need all the drama, emotional blackmail, puppeteering and general heartache that came with my extended "family".

I hope you have a lovely day doing something else with your ds and not having his birthday turned into a passive-aggressive clusterfuck :)

ExcuseTypos · 11/12/2013 16:46

You did the right thing. You have to protect your dc and yourself from such nonsense. Well done to you.

I'm sure your DS will have a better birthday without them.

Does your brother often threaten people? Do you need to phone the police about his threats?

appletarts · 11/12/2013 17:04

I have phoned the police to let them know to keep a record because he has threatened me twice, he is generally a violent and scared man. He lives very far away from us but I still took this threats seriously. I have told him that if he threatens me again I will involve the police properly. I love the passive aggressive clusterfuck, thank you for that it cheered me up!

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