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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not respond to DS's Christmas cards?

27 replies

Antidote · 10/12/2013 19:15

DS is three. He is in nursery. He can't read or write. His friends can't read or write.

And yet I find Christmas cards in his book bag. Cute little cards written by his friends' parents I assume.

WTF is this madness? I can barely muster the enthusiasm to do cards for my neighbours. I gave up sending them to my friends years ago.

I daren't show the ruddy things to DH. He'll insist on replying.

What is the procedure? Do your preschoolers send Christmas cards?

OP posts:

nancy75 · 10/12/2013 19:16

In dd's preschool yes they did. It really doesn't take that long to do and the children like getting cards

Sparklingbrook · 10/12/2013 19:17

We did (many moons ago) because they liked to put them in their bedroom, and were really chuffed to receive them.

piratecat · 10/12/2013 19:17

erm, only to a few very good friends.

BigBirthdayGloom · 10/12/2013 19:17

Once my dc could write their name there seemed some point to sending cards. Before that it seemed a bit daft.

Sparklingbrook · 10/12/2013 19:19

Oh no. 3 year olds receiving envelopes with nice cards in is daft?-they love it.

DaddyPigsMistress · 10/12/2013 19:21

Oh its cute. my toddler gets soo excited putting them on the sideboard and loves to rearrange them

Ive sent some out to his class, i hope they enjoy the cards as much as mine did

MrsLouisTheroux · 10/12/2013 19:22

So don't send any back. Although DD aged 3 loved telling me who her nursery friends were. We She sent cards to them.

Original poster

Antidote · 10/12/2013 19:29

I am feeling a bit grinchy. They are cute, and DS is excited about them.

I can get into the spirit.

I just need to summon the enthusiasm to do some Christmas shopping. And decorate the house. And buy a tree.

OP posts:

DoctorRobert · 10/12/2013 19:29

dd is 2.9 and in preschool - was quite surprised to start receiving Xmas cards !

I do think it's ridiculous at this age, however she was quite excited when we opened them so I am going to reciprocate.

dogindisguise · 10/12/2013 20:14

Aargh, I hope this won't happen to us next Christmas! I find cards enough of a chore as it is. I don't mind so much writing to friends but the ones that say "Dear so and so, happy Christmas from so and so" I find more pointless. I would think it's OK not to respond if you don't want to.

GrumpyRedhead · 10/12/2013 20:26

I don't do cards. I think they're a waste of time, money and paper. I also receive very few, and I believe part of that is because people know I don't really agree with them, iykwim.

When DC1 got to nursery, she received some cards but wasn't very fussed, so I left it there.

DC2 is now in nursery, got a few cards and was bouncing around the house with excitement. He begged me for days to get him some cards, and it meant to much to him that I've done it.

I agree with you 100% that it's madness, if none of the other parents had started it I wouldn't have. But I'm pleased I have gone along with it, I only wish I could be there to see him give them to his wee friends

teacherlikesapples · 10/12/2013 20:37

This is one of the ways of introducing meaningful literacy learning to your DC. Some of the first words & letter sounds that he will learn will be his own & friends names.

If you are pushed for time- sit & read these instead of his bedtime story.
No need to reply if you can't be bothered or don't have time- but all it would take is giving him some paper, a few crayons and helping write a few names on the inside. Even if you just reply to those that have sent. e.g To Bob- from & he can sign him own name (however he does that, doesn't matter if it is not correct.)

It also helps foster other skills in your child- like being thoughtful & kind, maintaining friendships...

Obviously not a necessity- but YABU if you can't see the many valuable learning opportunities, fun & good feelings this provides.

Suttonmum1 · 10/12/2013 20:41

I got one of those really old fashioned printing sets with tiny letters and got my son to stamp them at that age. My more modern equivalent would be doing some 'Love from x' stickers on the computer and perhaps some mini Christmas stampers (£1 shop have them)

Pascha · 10/12/2013 20:42

We haven't had any yet. Fingers crossed we won't get any. I can't remember the last time I wrote a christmas card.

YouTheCat · 10/12/2013 20:44

If your dh is the one who will insist on reciprocating, get him to write the bloody things.

LimeLeaafLizard · 10/12/2013 20:50

I used to feel like that - it seems daft, is a waste of resources, etc.

Then I just accepted that it happens, and that it is easier to bow to tradition than fight it. Besides, my kids love opening and reading their cards, so I don't want to deny their little friends the same pleasure.

Now I buy cheap cards early (or discounted in January) and get the kids to write them. DS3 'wrote' his initial on some when he was 18 months, copying his brothers. It doesn't take that long really.

Reevesandmortimer · 10/12/2013 20:59

Oh lord, I am one of those annoying mothers. DD is 4 and at preschool and she just had to copy her big brother doing his cards so I let her do her own - she can write her name as she's one of the oldest. I was so worried the other mums would think me a twat that I even thought about binning them (!) but ended up sending the bloody things. If I was a recipient I would be , think I was showing off that my DD could write her name and think oh god now I'll have to send one back.4

DS (5) wrote in most of his cards "Dear x have a jolly well crismas with best wishis from xx" I think my children are going to be geeks aren't they!

RubyrooUK · 10/12/2013 21:04

Neither my family nor most of the families at my kids' inner London nursery are Christian. But my three year old absolutely loves getting Christmas cards from "his friends" and writing them. It has so far taken me a week and a half of nighttime card writing - I work full time - and I haven't finished them yet. I'm an idiot.

Lariflete · 10/12/2013 21:10

"Dear x have a jolly well crismas with best wishis from xx"
^That is really cute!

DD has been helping me do ours (so lots of cards with massive scribbles everywhere) and will love doing them when she starts. She is two and at nursery but none so far! in fact, I wish she had got some to supplement the measly three we've had so far

soverylucky · 10/12/2013 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Musicaltheatremum · 10/12/2013 21:16

I remember this. What a waste of time. My son, now 18 has never sent a Christmas card in his life. My daughter now 20 has always done so.
I'm sure as he gets older he will but I do respect his decision as especially to school and uni friends he feels he doesn't need to do so.

PurplePidjin · 10/12/2013 21:18

Teach him to write and recognise the first letter of his name. Use cards for him to practice in. Write recipient's name on envelope. Job done.

Or, get him to write his name over dots, scan into computer, copy so there's loads on an A4 page, print, cut out and make him stick those into the cards.

He'll need to recognise his name for school etc anyway so now seems like a good time to start!

Hulababy · 10/12/2013 21:20

DD liked to send them when she was little, so yes - I let her send them.
We used it as some writing practise - she could write her name, and she liked to do so. She also liked to copy her friends name.

If your DS likes getting the cards and gets excited by them - then why not reply and let the other little one enjoy the recieving too.

MammaTJ · 10/12/2013 21:23

I sincerely wish all the people I know and love a very merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, but I do not wish to sign my name in a pretty bit of cardboard to tell them that! However, I do bow to convention where cardgiving and my DC are concerned, so I do give in to this!

littleblackno · 10/12/2013 21:34

My kids have some each to do and have done since they could write them themselves! I don't 'do' xmas cards and haven't sent one in years but they do like to give and recieve them and get really excited, how can i deny them that?
I do love christmas and really get into it in everyother way, i just think xmas cards get a bit silly but it never ceases to amaze me the politics of them at times!

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