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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to stop the water?

37 replies

meeemo · 08/12/2013 21:28

Moved into a new house a few months ago. There is a field next to us, and they have animals grazing. We asked if there was room to put our animal to graze also. The husband said he would check with his wife, but wasn't sure because someone else had asked the same months back and they declined them.

So i gave them our number to give us a call and let us know what he said.

Many Many weeks have passed and we have not had any contact to tell us either way.

AIBU to turn off the water that runs from our house to their field? they had an arrangement with the previous owners that they could use the water.

I think that if they cant even give us the decency to tell us we could not share the field, then why bother to give then the same courtesy re the water.

OP posts:
Mouthfulofquiz · 08/12/2013 21:30

I would do exactly as you've described! YANBU

Bowlersarm · 08/12/2013 21:30

Is it costing you money? Or would you be doing it out of spite?

DeepThought · 08/12/2013 21:31

ooh er it's a bit Jean de Florette innit

[helpful]

RubyGoat · 08/12/2013 21:33

I should think, probably, YANBU to turn it off. But, you would need to tell them in advance. For the sake of the animals.

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 08/12/2013 21:35

Great way damage relations for the foreseeable future.

Why not ask again? They are maybe busy and just forgot?

Original poster
meeemo · 08/12/2013 21:36

oh i would not be so cruel as to shut of animals drinking water. i think they use it as a hose pipe type thing, rather then for drinking water.

I dont believe it is costing us money.

OP posts:
puntasticusername · 08/12/2013 21:36

I'd try and talk to them again about it before turning off the water - that could be seen as a slightly ott response (especially if the animals suffer) if it's just slipped their minds!

Original poster
meeemo · 08/12/2013 21:37

i am not sure how it can have slipped their minds, they have to go to the field ever day and see our house every day!

OP posts:
Finola1step · 08/12/2013 21:38

I assume the water is costing you so YANBU. But you must tell them in advance and given plenty of time for them to make other arrangements for the water purely because if the animals.

farrowandbawlbauls · 08/12/2013 21:38

If it's not costing you money then you will only be doing it out of spite.

Original poster
meeemo · 08/12/2013 21:40

as i said the pipe is only used as a hose pipe to wash out hard standing areas and wash down animals

OP posts:
puntasticusername · 08/12/2013 21:44

Well, you don't know what's going on in their minds because you haven't spoken to them recently about the issue.

Just ask them...?

At a guess, they want to say No to your request but they haven't managed to say so off their own bat, because people often don't like saying no, they'd rather just leave it and hope you're too polite/embarrassed to mention it again.

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen · 08/12/2013 21:46

How can it be free? Is it from a well?

TwistedRib · 08/12/2013 21:46

You can't blackmail them into letting you graze there, and if you turn the water off they will probably just cart the water in themselves or make an adaptation to whatever is feeding into the drinking trough. You'll have destroyed any neighbourly relations in the process.

KungFuBustle · 08/12/2013 21:46

Do it, Papet!

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating · 08/12/2013 21:53

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
meeemo · 08/12/2013 21:54

I would rather not have to put them into the position of having to say no, as you said people would rather just leave it.
That is fine with us, there was no pressure for them to allow us to share.

I am not blackmailing them to allow us to graze!!

when we asked them and they said they had already turned someone down for grazing, we didnt get our hopes up. We did at least expect a text/ phone call just letting us know!

yes, they can cart water ( like we do currently) or make an adaptation.

Like i said i think it is free, DH deals with all of that. it may well be from a well... the house is VERY old, so lots round here are from springs.

OP posts:
EnlightenedOwl · 08/12/2013 21:54

bit spiteful isn't it?

Original poster
meeemo · 08/12/2013 22:01

surely if you want someone to do a favour for you, then you would at least do them the curtsey of getting back to them?

OP posts:
KungFuBustle · 08/12/2013 22:04

A favour is going out of your way for someone. If it's no skin off your nose and requires no effort or cost it's not a favour.

Ever heard the phrase "wouldn't give you the steam off their piss"?

Feels more along those lines rather than declining to do a favour.

Original poster
meeemo · 08/12/2013 22:13

I have not found out if it is free water yet!

at the moment there is a great big pipe going up the middle of the garden. The ground is VERY soggy because the tap drips. which means the area in front of our lounge is very boggy

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 08/12/2013 22:14

I agree it would be a spiteful, and very petty thing to do.

If you've had no contact with them for many many weeks, then you have no idea what's going in in their lives that may have meant that something as simple as a text that they would normally send has become something that has slipped off their radar entirely.

They might have actual problems to be dealing with that make sending a text confirming what they had already massively hinted at seem like a non issue. In fact it seems like a non issue anyway!

ADishBestEatenCold · 08/12/2013 22:22

Do they have sufficient grazing to allow for your animal as well, meeemo?

How many acres in size is the field, what type of grazing is it, is it divided and part rested/rotated, how many and what species & size of animals do they already have, and what species and size is your animal?

For example, if they only had two acres of rough mixed grazing and already had two ponies and a Blackface ewe, then they would already be grazing right to maximum capacity, and wouldn't have room for someone's horse.

Sometimes it can look as if people are being mean, when in fact to add just one more herbivore would overgraze and ruin the grass for all (especially with horses and ponies).

Joysmum · 08/12/2013 22:30

Ah so it wasn't a problem before but it is now. Spiteful.

As someone who has rented land myself for 6.5 years, the last thing I'd want to do is share. Mine was a closed herd so no problems worming and disease control etc.

I had water from the house opposite, no water meters so no cost to them.

Original poster
meeemo · 08/12/2013 22:32

i can not tell how much land they have. lots of fields, possibly belonging to same person or different people.

I totally understand that they may not have enough room, you would have thought that they could have got back to me though!

OP posts:
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