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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off with soft play worker?

25 replies

Thesimplethings · 22/11/2013 20:27

I took my two ds's to soft play this afternoon as a reward for good behaviour. They are 3 and 2. My 3 year old knows that the consequence for naughty behaviour is straight home.

We were sitting having a break from the slides etc when my 3 year old noticed a bauble had fallen from the Christmas tree. He picked it up and told me and said 'me help mammy, I put it back on tree' which he went to do. A member of staff stomped up to him and snatched bauble out of his hand and told him no, that's for looking not touching. Ds hung his head and ran off and hid. I was sat right next to him.

Aibu to think she shouldn't have spoken to my child like that. She knows us as we are regulars and knew I was supervising my son.

OP posts:

FrillyMummy · 22/11/2013 20:37

YANBU, but perhaps the worker was just having an off day. Still, shouldn't have spoken like that.

Original poster

Thesimplethings · 22/11/2013 20:45

Yes perhaps she was, didn't seem like it as she was chatting and smiling with the other members of staff.

I was too shocked to say anything at the time but now I'm quite annoyed as Ds was very upset and said he was feeling sad as he tried to be a good boy. I reassured him he is a good boy and I'm very proud of him. But it spoilt his treat.

OP posts:

PansOnFire · 22/11/2013 20:46

YANBU, sounds like she's in the wrong job!

BenNJerry · 22/11/2013 20:48

YANBU. I'd never speak to anyone else's child like that, even if I thought they were misbehaving.

Amy106 · 22/11/2013 20:50

Poor little guy. He was only trying to help. The worker could have been much kinder than that. Maybe thanked him for his help.

womma · 22/11/2013 20:50

My local soft play is fully staffed by bored teenage drongos. Complain.

judgejudithjudy · 22/11/2013 20:50

yanbu but maybe she thought your ds had taken it to play with & as you can imagine all the kids would do this so maybe you should have explained?

ShreddedHoops · 22/11/2013 20:51

I would have corrected her, in front of him, so that she could apologise for having a go at him and thank him for helping.

But these things happen so quickly.

I hope you reassured your son that he did the right thing - I hate toddlers seeing adults acting like twats, really upsets me.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 22/11/2013 20:51

YABU to still be thinking over it. She was grumpy but I wouldn't give it another thought.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 22/11/2013 20:53

YANBU, it doesn't sound like she's in the right job to be fair

puntasticusername · 22/11/2013 20:54

Aw, your poor DS, he was HELPING, miserable old wotsit...

CuriosityCola · 22/11/2013 20:58

Yanbu. I would probably email a complaint. I do think it can be a miserable job and everyone has off days. It may have been the umpteenth time she had to put a bauble back. More fool the management for putting a tree up near the kids.

It's interesting how staff can behave when they think you aren't watching though. I complained about one a few months ago. A child ran around handing out balloons attached to sticks. Ds was running towards me to show me his and a member of staff snatched it off him as she was walking the other way. He stopped with a shocked look, unsure of what happened and started crying. She had left a red mark on his hand and didn't even look back. I was slightly angry!

Original poster

Thesimplethings · 22/11/2013 20:59

Really candy? Perhaps I am overthinking it. But I had a very upset 3 year old who wanted to go home as he thought he was being good and helping. He was still looking for reassurance at bedtime.

I was sat right next to ds1 but was busy with ds2 and she had stripped off before I had a chance to say anything. Should I have followed her and had a word or looked out for both my children?

I'm pissed off with myself too to be fair as I should have been quicker off the mark and pulled her up.

OP posts:

candycoatedwaterdrops · 22/11/2013 21:00

Oh well, if he was really upset that's different. Poor kiddo. I thought it was you who was stewing over it. Sorry!

AngiBolen · 22/11/2013 21:01

YANBU. Why do they even have a chrismas tree where chidlren can touch it, if they are going to get fussed when children do touch - which of course they will!

Original poster

Thesimplethings · 22/11/2013 21:08

Sorry candy, I thought I had explained it better. Soft play is an end of the week treat dependant on behaviour. I have strict rules about these sort of outings primarily because I need to be able to keep control of a three and two year old in busy places as I'm usually on my own with them.

Ds1 knows this and yes he can push the boundaries, on this occasion he thought he was helping and had asked me if he could help. So he was very upset by being told off for basically being good.

Perhaps I aibu to expect staff in a small children's play centre to be a bit more considerate? I don't know that's why I thought I'd ask here.

OP posts:

Original poster

Thesimplethings · 22/11/2013 21:09

Sorry she stropped off rather than stripped off

OP posts:

ICameOnTheJitney · 22/11/2013 21:12

I'd be worried about my Ds if a minor incident like that had him still owrried at bedtime!

Curiosity did you challenge the balloon robbing baggage!?

cupoftchai · 22/11/2013 21:13

That would have made for a much odder soft play experience!

Original poster

Thesimplethings · 22/11/2013 21:16

How do you mean icameon?

He relayed the while thing to dh when he came in from work just before bedtime and said he was sad about it. Is that unusual?

OP posts:

ICameOnTheJitney · 22/11/2013 21:17

Well that sounds different OP to "He was still looking for reassurance at bedtime." doesn't it.

Original poster

Thesimplethings · 22/11/2013 21:20

Well he was, as it was still playing on his mind and bugging him for him to being it up two hours later. Why else would he say he was sad about it then?

Is it not normal for a 3 year old to feel hurt and remember?

OP posts:

LimitedEditionLady · 22/11/2013 21:21

No yanbu,im sick of seeing grumpy people in play areas,we go to six different ones in our area.To me if you cannot slap a smile on when you are around kids then do not work around them.Surely they must know kids can be trying.He wasnt bloody eating the bauble or pulling them all off and destroying them he was putting it back.What the hell do they think kids will do when theres a christmas tree in hands reach?Because in my experience kids really like christmas trees and if they like things they want to touch them!To me when kids go to these places it should be a child friendly place and a happy place for kids and I can understand them havung a kibd word if it is a dangerous thing they are doing but if you were sat right there what was the need?

LimitedEditionLady · 22/11/2013 21:22

Having and kind aaargh

Laquitar · 22/11/2013 21:33

Isnt it a bit stupid to have a christmas tree in a place full of hyper toddlers?

For your son, tbh i wouldnt put too much emphasis on 'being good'. I would say simsthing like 'it wS good ideato put it back but the lady thought it might break it, koh well'...It is not something personal dont forget she deals with so many children running around.

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