Am I lazy or is this normal?

[MintyChops]

I have a DS1(4) and DS2(10m). DS1 goes the school until 1.30 and we usually spend the afternoon colouring, baking cakes, walking the dogs, playing, generally pottering. Sometimes we go to the playground or Natural History Museum or watch a bit of tv or have one of his friends round to play.

After school today one of the other mums asked if we would like to go bowling and I said that would be great, what about next Friday. She said that didn't suit as her DD had her music lesson then. Thursday also out as her DD swimming then. She also does an art lesson and tennis after school on Mon and Wed. My question is, what do you do with your 4 year old child in the afternoons? AIBU for doing what we do? She is an only child if that is relevant.

You sound fairly normal. How on earth did they expect you to go bowling when their schedule is so full?

Some mums do clubs some don't....Some do a mixture..So long as your child is developing well that is all that matters...

Sounds like you are doing great..you aren't been lazy..been lazy is sitting your kids in front of the TV and doing nothing with them .

My sister whos 3 does ballet/tap and swimming. But thats on a saturday and swimming is just an hour after nursery on a weekday.

Ds is 2.8 and will be starting ballet and swimming next sept.

Purely because theres naff all to do around here!

If we had museums and lovely things close by I wouldnt feel so inclined to get him into clubs. Sounds more normal what you are doing. :)

you are not lazy your son is 4 imo they dont really need to be so busy at 4 the other mum wants her dd to experience thing and do activities but you are doing nothing wrong

No you are spot on with what you are doing. I went through a phase of signing my DCs up to all kinds of classes...I noticed in retrospect that it coincided with me feeling a total lack of confidence in my own skills as a parent/being unwell generally/having too much work stress.

Not saying that this is the case with your acquaintance of course, but once I'd worked out why I was doing it, I realised of course, that the value of doing things at home together is just that. It's us, together, doing stuff. Doesn't matter what it is really...but we're together, chatting, not rushing from place to place, just doing normal stuff together.

Guess which I think is the better way?! And it totally helped me get my confidence back cos I could see that we all having a nice relaxed time at home together.

I don't know Wally, perhaps Tuesday or early evening one if the other days which wouldn't work for me with the baby.

Thanks starlight, we do have a nice relaxed time but then I suddenly felt bad like I should be doing more ! I sort of feel there's plenty of time to do organised things when they are a but older....

DS is just turned 4 and the only club he goes to is rugby on a Saturday morning (which he has only started since turning 4)

In the afternoons after pre-school we don't generally do much tbh play together, draw, go for a walk or whatever we fancy doing!

They do go to swimming and stuff now, just I don't feel the pressure to do it any more.

If you are your DC are happy then stay as you are, don't feel you have to do what anyone else does.

you sound like you do a lot with him sounds like he has a great time with you and he is only 4 as i said taking them out and about is just as good for them than structered activities,

Thanks everyone, glad I'm not getting it too wrong....

I think sometimes kids have so many clubs/activities after scuo