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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

re DSs Christmas presents from inlaws..

27 replies

celebmum · 18/11/2013 08:27

I dont want to sound ungreatful but I cant help but feel a little peeved by this.

My inlaws mentioned back in june that they had seen a bike in a 2nd hand shop that they wanted to get DS for Christmas, I politely tried to put them off as DH and i had just bought him a new one in April for his birthday.
I found out yesterday that they went ahead and bought it anyway. Im annoyed as its too big, DS is 3 and the bike is easily more suited to a 6/7year old. Im annoyed because it seems like such a waste as he has barely even ridden the one we got him, so i just know that this one is going to be a wasted present. Hmm Sad

OP posts:
petalsandstars · 18/11/2013 08:28

Stick it in the shed until he's big enough for it and he can ride on the one he has until then. Hth

petalsandstars · 18/11/2013 08:29

Oh YANBU btw, I'd be annoyed too

Katinkia · 18/11/2013 08:31

Just say 'well I'm sure he'll love it when he's big enough for it, in a few years...
Shame he won't get anything more useful/suitable for this Christmas though. My inlaws ask me what to buy.

LIZS · 18/11/2013 08:31

Ask them to keep it for another year or two

WooWooOwl · 18/11/2013 08:31

That would annoy me too. I'd have to ask them to store it at their home so it wasn't cluttering up our garage for the next few years.

Annoying as it is, you have to teach your child to accept the gift graciously.

Original poster
celebmum · 18/11/2013 08:36

this is exactly what i said to DH. DS at just 3yrs old wont understand that its too big and that he cant use it.
dont even get me started on explaining to DS how santa will have lwft him a bike (the biggest gift he will get this year) at grandmas house Confused

OP posts:
Joysmum · 18/11/2013 08:36

That's up to your inlaws I'm afraid.

We had numerous unsuitable gifts from my parents for DD over the years, including a bouncy castle and swimming pool which both required us to set up and put away. We explained nicely that we knew we wouldn't do this due to time constraints and finding the storage for it would be an issue too. They still did it and each of those only got a couple of uses and when they asked how DD was enjoying the present, they were told by her and us that they rarely got used.

If it were me, when your son opens the gift and it's obviously too big I'd comment lovely the bike is and something for him to grown on to but could they store it until he's big enough as he already has a bike you need to store.

Their intentions are good so make a big thing of how he'll love it when he's grown enough to use it. Receiving unsuitable gifts are all a part of having children. You can feel angry or try to be more gracious because being angry only eats you up, frustrating as it is.

Joysmum · 18/11/2013 08:37

x posted with the others but nice to see we all think the same

NicknameIncomplete · 18/11/2013 08:40

Why do you have to tell ur ds that santa got the bike?

Shouldnt the bike be from his grandparents.

soverylucky · 18/11/2013 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WooWooOwl · 18/11/2013 08:54

You don't need to say anything about Santa leaving the gift at the grandparents house. The gift is from the grandparents, not Santa.

I think it confuses children when they are told that every gift they get is from Father Christmas. They are aware that they get gifts for their grandparents, so why shouldn't they be allowed to know that grandparents get get gifts for them too?

In our house Santa does stockings and a tree present. The rest are gifts from whoever actually bought the gifts, otherwise how is the child supposed to thank the right person?

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 18/11/2013 08:56

What has Santa got to do with it? People buy presents too.

Look I love Santa/Xmas and wear my 'I believe' badge firmly, but why do people make every gift from Santa? I don't get it.

ICameOnTheJitney · 18/11/2013 09:00

What Minnie said. though I see your irritation....my Mum did this to me OP but even worse. Last year I mentioned in November that I wanted to get DD2 a pram for Christmas. A week later, Mum turned up with an ugly 2nd hand pram and handed it to DD! Shock

She could not see why I was angry. She ruined my gift....I was going to get DD a lovely pram...a real surprise...and she'd taken the edge of it. Even if I DID get DD a pram, she already had one now.

itscockyfoxagain · 18/11/2013 09:07

Just tell him Nanny and Grandad bought him a bike but he isn't quite big enough to ride it yet so instead of bringing it your house Father Christmas delivered it to them to keep it safe.
Re Father Christmas and buying presents in our house we biy the presents wrap them them and sneakily leave them on the fireplace when the person they are for has gone to bed then an elf collects them anf leaves a note saying he gas taken themto FC who will deliver them. My kids love getting their elf notes, get the magic of FC and thank the right people.

magesticmallow · 18/11/2013 09:08

What has Santa got to do with it???

CaptainSweatPants · 18/11/2013 09:11

Oh god I hate that Santa bought all the presents & delivered them crap

Let grandparents give what they like & say it's from them

magesticmallow · 18/11/2013 09:14

People make all gifts from Santa??? what??? that is complete madness!!! So the kids think Santa calls to their grandparents house and leave gifts for them there too??? that makes no sense!!! so they surely can't be watching any christmas movies because I am yet to see a movie back up that idea

Nanny0gg · 18/11/2013 09:18

Why do people expect a three year-old to understand that the present he has just been given won't be any use for at least a couple of years? I actually think it's quite unkind as well as a waste of money.

Can't your DH talk to his parents? Someone needs to speak to them. I don't understand why people are supposed to be grateful for gifts that the giver has been specifically told not to buy for very good reason.

NicknameIncomplete · 18/11/2013 09:20

I dont get that santa idea at all.

In our house people buy presents & drop them round on christmas eve. My dd gets presents from me & presents from santa. All the presents are left under the tree & on christmas eve santa puts the presents in her santa sack & adds a few of his own.

It is so simple.

AnnieJanuary · 18/11/2013 10:20

My 4 year old has some Santa doubts, but for the time being he still believes. I'm trying to have my parents NOT claim that Santa 'accidentally' left him even more presents at their house like they did in prior years, utterly confusing him. But they will probably say it anyway and it's unlikely he'll continue to believe.

fuzzpig · 18/11/2013 12:56

I agree it's unfair to expect a three year old to understand that he's been given a present he can't use. By all means gratefully accept the bike for the future and store it (or preferably ask them to) but I don't think it'd be right to give it as a present this year

fledtoscotland · 18/11/2013 13:02

Yanbu re the bike

Yabu about Santa. At 3 he should understand Santa leaves a stocking/pillowcase/bag of presents and other people can give and receive gifts at Christmas.

itscockyfoxagain · 18/11/2013 13:09

Really don't get the issue people have with how Santa works, people do it differenly, we don't have stockings he doesn't give anybody anything. He is a magical postman here, he collects the gifts everyone has bought prior to Christmas eve, then delivers them to yhe right houses so everyone has their presents when the wake up Christmas morning whether or not they will see the giver that day. I love the look ob the children's faces shen the room that was empty whenn they went to bed is full of gifts for everyone.

soverylucky · 18/11/2013 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZenNudist · 18/11/2013 13:19

There is no problem unless they won't store it. It's useful in a few years time. Save you buying one then. Money saved in future providing you don't have to have it at your house. Stand firm on that one.

My ILs buy large gifts for 3yo ds that we cant store or repeat gifts that we have at home. It just gets left at theirs. Ds doesn't even remember generally. Tell your ds he has lots of things to play with a home, including a bike. Say this will be a bike for gp's house.

If by some fluke he remembers next time you go then get the gps holding him balancing him on it. It might hurt their backs! (Sorry, mean). My ds loves balancing on my neighbours boys' bike even though he can't pedal it & he has a balance bike he fits perfectly.

If you encourage your son to be adaptable he will be. Otherwise you're just setting him up to have tantrums over nothing.