To think that people should think about this before posting...

[BroodyTroody]

IF YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, DONT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!

why does every thread seem to end up with spiteful comments?! If you don't agree with the OP, then politely explain why or don't say anything, click 'back' and read a different thread... There's no need to be nasty or make personal remarks about the OP.

Even the light hearted ones either end up reported and deleted or with posters being mean- fairly sure that's not what MN is about?!

YABU

A comment does not have to be "nice" to be interesting or useful or entertaining or helpful or valuable in some other way.

Not every thread. Probably not even most threads, or even a significant percentage. And even less so will end up deleted.

I can see this one being one those, though.

I agree, and I also like the advice to 'Play the ball not the player' - ie. engage with the discussion and what is being said, don't resort to being personal about the other debaters.

I agree there's no need for nastiness

But I have to say the expression 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'...makes my teeth itch.

It's stupid, twee and quite unworkable in the real world.

I agree with Trills Yabu.

And not every thread has spiteful comments.

There are some really funny ones (in a -you have to be part of it - way) with not an ounce of nastiness.

It is possible to say something hard hitting, straight forward, controversial, confrontational without it being mean or nasty you know.

I'd hate a forum or a world with only 'nice' commentary.

But gratuitous name calling and nastiness is, of course, unnecessary.

Ok, I'll rephrase- I don't think posters should resort to nastiness to get their point across- maybe thats more how I feel.

I sort of agree but I think it's also the nature of the Internet. Sometimes I read a thread and think that in reality a poster has just said what we were all thinking. Of course in a rl situation people probably wouldn't be so harsh.

But then in rl it can be infuriating having people who speak behind your back but don't tell you what they're really thinking.

I think it can be incredibly helpful to get these opinions in a relatively 'safe' place such as mn. At least if you're being a dick you'll get told as much and hopefully that might save you making quite such a dick of yourself in rl iyswim

Text on a screen is hard to tell the tone of what the op writes.

Some people think because it's AIBU that you HAVE to be an arse. Some people are constantly confrontational where there's absolutely no reason to be. It's starting to spread to other boards as well.

On the other hand, some OP's will not listen and it is necessary to be a little more robust in your responses.

yes mrs patterson

Sometimes people need a bit of firm talking though, to help them remove themselves from a bad situation.

I agree about the tweeness of the OP too, my own personal mantra is 'If you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up'.

gordy

Exactly what I was thinking!

(Well, I wasn't thinking of them, but along those lines).

People being gratuitously nasty is unnecessary I with that but not with the heading of your OP. It would be a very boring forum if we just agreed with each other the whole time! It's like saying that if you object to something on TV you should just turn over or if you don't like what someone has said just ignore them...to a certain extent yes you can but as Worra says you also have a right to object. Not is a nasty way if possible though.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Wui-PNqJrxs&autoplay=1&desktop_uri=%252Fwatch%253Fv%253DWui-PNqJrxs%2526autoplay%253D1

Like this :)

YABU OP. While some things are outright nasty and personal attacks should be deleted, 'niceness' or lack of is in the eye of the beholder. Just because the OP doesn't like to hear the truth or a differing opinion doesn't mean that they're being horrible and spiteful. On the other hand, some people paint their own issues and situations when giving advice and opinion so sometimes it can be useless and seem unpleasant.

So this is a thread about a thread that's about to get zapped?
Don't be surprised if this one ends up deleted, OP.
No one was being mean, it was just a difference in opinion about what constitutes a joke. I saw no personal attacks, or I'd have reported them.

Ew YABU. Sounds dreadfully boring to me.

Ok, maybe I need to make it clear that I ding think everyone should agree, god what would be the point in posting for an opinion?! But just that people don't need to make nasty personal comments when replying

Whenever I see 'mean' I always think it's dreadfully twee.

Nasty personal comments are against the guidelines and would be deleted if reported.... That's life and how the world works. Also, lots of goady posts lately

It can't all be nicely nice

On the thread in question, the angry answers were mostly from people who didn't realise that the OP was a joke and responded to the post accordingly.

I'm not just referring to that thread Silver, that just happened to be a recent one I'd read so was in my mind, but it's definitely not the worst one I've seen, by a long shot!

I suppose that's one of the issues with having a site that has such a diverse membership though, different things might trigger responses that seem OTT to others who haven't had the same experiences, or something that seems entertaining when young and childless is less so to an older parent who has had a child with additional needs for example.