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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To stay with my parents next week

56 replies

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 25/10/2013 23:58

Pil are taking DC on holiday, DH is working nights ( 6pm-6am) so for the first time ever I will be in my home alone.

I am so scared, but got no rational reasons why.

My parents have said if I feel that way to come home for the week.

I am in 2 mind as surely a 28 year old married women with 2 children should be able to sleep alone in her own house.

What would you do.

OP posts:

pookamoo · 26/10/2013 00:00

might be a nice break to go home for a few days anyway?

SweetSkull · 26/10/2013 00:02

This would be my dream.

CoffeeTea103 · 26/10/2013 00:02

Nice to go home, you probably wouldn't sleep well alone at home

SweetSkull · 26/10/2013 00:02

I mean, my dream coming true.

defineme · 26/10/2013 00:03

It would never occur to me to feel scared. I would be taking charge of the tv with relish, inviting a few friends over, catching up with stuff. I suppose if I felt nervous I'd bring the cats in the bedroom! I do have a burglar alarm that we set at night..perhaps that's why I feel fine, but I did before we had it too.
I think you might feel empowered if you do it.
people all over the country have no choice but to be alone every night-you'll be fine.
I'm sorry to say this, but going to your parents is a tiny bit tragic (unless there's some awful secret that explains your fear).

Original poster

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 26/10/2013 00:03

My parents live 10 minute walking distance so see them a lot.

I just feel so pathetic for yet another reason which is not logical.

OP posts:

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 26/10/2013 00:05

I would relish the thought of the house to myself so wouldnt need to go to my folks (which incidentally is only about seven doors down), but wouldnt think it.odd for anyone else to do differently.

notanyanymore · 26/10/2013 00:06

I would!!! (and do and I'm friggin 30!)
Hate being in the house on my own at night with the DC, hate it even more to be in the house without them.
Nothing to feel ashamed about op.

Onesleeptillwembley · 26/10/2013 00:07

Ex was forces, so spent a lot of time on my own. You just get used to it, and then get to enjoy it.

awakemysoull · 26/10/2013 00:07

I know how you feel. I'm scared when I'm in the house myself (especially after reading the woo threads in here ) and if I had the chance I'd be off to my mums to get well looked after

Original poster

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 26/10/2013 00:08

Boring really, met a wonderful man feel in love moved in with him, had 2 DC then his contract changed at work so he had to work nights.

So it has never been a time where I have had a house to myself.

OP posts:

thehorridestmumintheworld · 26/10/2013 00:10

My dh works nights and I do feel a bit nervous sometimes, I normally check the door is locked about 3 times. But I find it goes off after a bit and I am fine.

AgentZigzag · 26/10/2013 00:13

Once you've thought you're going to be freaked out then you'll be freaked out.

Did you ever live on your own before your DH?

It's good to get to 'know' yourself for a while, especially if your parents are only 10 mins down the road.

What is it that's shitting you up? Ghostly goings on or mad axe murderers? (sorry to put things in your mind like )

What about giving it a couple of nights? Have some things planned so you're not twiddling your thumbs, try to rationalise any noises/creepy thoughts etc.

Have you had any problems with anxiety/intrusive doom scenario thoughts before?

I'm sure there'll be MNs who are up if you need them to reassure you.

Unless I've read the creepy threads on here I love being on my own, pleasing yourself has its plus points for sure.

thehorridestmumintheworld · 26/10/2013 00:13

Also I can lie in bed and MN on.my phone at 12.15am if I want to!

LittleRobots · 26/10/2013 00:15

I really had no idea that grown women would feel like this! Not meant as an insult, just not the case in my experience (husband often away for work, I lived alone for a while and houseshared after uni.)

If parents are only ten mins away I'd stay home but have their phone number to hand should you get anxious. Bit silly to uproot down the road. The first night will seem strange but it will get easier. If this is his new shift pattern you'll need to adjust to it.

Original poster

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 26/10/2013 00:19

I have never lived alone.

I think it's the fear of the unknown and being alone.

OP posts:

pigsDOfly · 26/10/2013 00:52

If you'd be happier go and stay with your parents. There's nothing to feel embarrassed about. If that's how you feel, that's how you feel.

Having said that, it might be a good idea to give it a go. You might find you enjoy the freedom and the house to yourself for a change. Maybe you just need to get used to it.

I live on my own and it never occurs to me to feel nervous at night.

HicDraconis · 26/10/2013 03:57

I would adore a few days on my own :) long baths, TV in bed, eating chocolate without having to hide in the pantry from the boys, sitting in the garden reading ... I'd stay put and enjoy it!

redcaryellowcar · 26/10/2013 04:05

I would go to my parents, enjoy being cooked for, they live a bit nearer the sea, so would enjoy some walks on the beach, generally a good time to catch up with them, i am not overly concerned about being in the house on my own, woukd just prefer the company, and being v lazy, someone else to make the tea, my dh tries but as a non tea drinker its often not quite right!

Amy106 · 26/10/2013 04:27

I would probably try it for one night and then decide.

Original poster

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 27/10/2013 17:30

well the DC are gone and now DH has.

The house is spotless and I just opened a bottle of wine, hope I can manage to stay home. If not it's good to hear IANBU.

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 27/10/2013 17:36

You'll be fine

The worst bit is the noise when they come back after you've got used to the peace and quiet and being able to have your own thoughts again

Original poster

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 27/10/2013 17:48

lol.

Not in work tomorrow either so imagine that amazing lie in.

OP posts:

NotYoMomma · 27/10/2013 17:49

ive done this before for a weekend it was bloody amazing

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 27/10/2013 18:37

I love it, first time was weird but when DH goes away I go to bed early after watching whatever I want on TV especially all those crap programmes I feel silly watching when he is here, I eat what and when I feel like it, in front of the TV. If I wake up in the night I switch on the lamp and read. Its great. love coming home from work to a house as tidy as I left it. only my washing to do, bliss.

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