Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be silent for the day

33 replies

GruffBillyGoat · 20/10/2013 07:03

Today is the only day that my DP and I are both not working and able to spend time together for the afternoon. (he worked all morning, but has the afternoon off)

We both sat down at our laptops, I asked what he was up to, he jumped down my throat and said he just wanted a moments peace and quiet. I did not speak again for over an hour, then picked up the cat for cuddles saying something along the lines of 'your dad won't cuddle me so you have to, deal with it', I was again yelled at about how attention seeking I am and that he just wanted a moments peace and quiet.

I have now stopped speaking. I am aware that I am being childish, but am I being unreasonable?

I feel like shit that I can't even ask what he is up to without being called an 'ADHD attention seeker'.

OP posts:
Original poster
GruffBillyGoat · 20/10/2013 07:09

Half an hour in to my silence and he has noticed. He is now bouncing around, getting in my face and screeching 'baby' repeatedly. I think I may just go out for a while.

OP posts:
womblingalong · 20/10/2013 07:14

What an arse, I am sorry he is behaving so badly. I would just go out and have a nice day without him.

HKat · 20/10/2013 07:18

He is being an arse - but the passive aggressive talking to him through the cat thing would have wound me right up!

Original poster
GruffBillyGoat · 20/10/2013 07:21

I didn't think he could hear me talking to the cat, I was just bugging the cat. Coz he was cute and everyone knows being that adorable is just asking to be annoyed.

OP posts:
livinginwonderland · 20/10/2013 07:22

Go out and leave him to it if he wants peace and quiet. No point staying in and winding each other up.

manticlimactic · 20/10/2013 08:28

Yup, I'd just go out. But I'd be having words later about screeching in your face. What a cock!

Squitten · 20/10/2013 08:30

Does he normally behave like this?! He sounds unhinged...

christinarossetti · 20/10/2013 08:31

Is your relationship usually like this?

plum100 · 20/10/2013 08:35

He sounds a bit odd tbh - which adults go round screeching in faces?

BlackholesAndRevelations · 20/10/2013 08:41

You both sound a bit odd! Jumping around screeching = odd (and he reckons YOU are an "ADHD attention seeker"?!) However, talking through cat (and telling anyone/thing "deal with it", which really gets on my nerves) = also odd.

WhereToGoForReferal · 20/10/2013 08:50

He's been working all morning while you have had time to yourself - give him a break!

You both sound very immature, how old are you?

Beastofburden · 20/10/2013 09:05

I don't think that you were reasonable. He may be tired, or he may be someone like me who desperately needs down time before he can face more interaction with people. My DH wouldn't dream of interrupting my quiet time, and he knows that once I have had it, I will be sociable.

You've made it all about you. Why can't I ask what he is doing? I feel rejected that I can't ask.

He could just as fairly think, why can't she think about me, I feel rejected that she doesn't care how tired I am, she just wants chat and cuddles the minute I come in, and now I am getting the silent treatment.

You need to try to understand how he feels, much more tired than you and possibly more of a quiet type. He has worked all morning, you didn't, I bet you had a bit of quiet when he was out.

pumpkinsweetie · 20/10/2013 09:16

He sounds like a fruit loop, go out and re-think your relationship.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 20/10/2013 09:19

erm you both sound a little immature.

AmberLeaf · 20/10/2013 09:20

Beastofburden good post.

bsc · 20/10/2013 09:20

"being adorable is asking to be annoyed"

Hmm

That is just a weird view on the world, sorry.

pictish · 20/10/2013 09:22

I think you both sound ineffective at communicating well.
The silent treatment and making passive aggressive digs through the cat - ridiculous.
Screeching in your face - completely unacceptable.

SAounds like you've got into some pretty unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Howsuper · 20/10/2013 09:24

I do think you sound attention seeking, sorry.

Sometimes I don't want to chat to my husband and vice versa - it is allowed in our sane and adult house.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 20/10/2013 09:24

It's really hard to tell from your op as it's rather one sided. How is your relationship usually?

Vivacia · 20/10/2013 09:25

Both of you seem to be behaving oddly.

pictish · 20/10/2013 09:26

Yopu may think talking through to the cat makes you 'adorable'...I'm pretty sure I'd disagree and find it passive aggressive and annoying as fuck.

That said - no way would I be screeching insults in your face. What an idiot!

pictish · 20/10/2013 09:32

Oh sorry - you mean the cat is adorable and asking to be annoyed! Grin
Yeah...I read it differently to that, but never mind....

Still never make passive aggressive comments about your dp or the situation, through your cat though.

Talk to each other - like adults.

Delilahlilah · 20/10/2013 09:48

I think you should 're-post in relationships. There sounds like there is much more to this.... maybe some online support would help you.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 20/10/2013 10:22

I wouldn't dream of disturbing DH in work, unless it was a very good reason.

I am sorry but he is working, and having being disturbed no matter how well meaning is not on.

DoJo · 20/10/2013 10:53

When you say he 'jumped down your throat' do you mean he raised his voice and flew completely off the handle, or just asked you to leave him alone because he wanted five minutes peace? Can you really not think of a better way to deal with that request than to give him the silent treatment or bother him via the cat? It sounds as though you exacerbated the situation by winding him up after he had told you he just wanted some quiet time, so for that YABU. However it does sound like you have trouble communicating with one another, so maybe try to have a calm discussion once the dust has settled (maybe opening with an apology would be a good idea).