To be fed up with people telling me I look tired?

[Kefybaby]

What is the point? Yes, I am knackered running around two young DC and working full time. Do you need to rub in that I look bad? Sympathy it ain't!

I get that one myself sometimes. It wouldn't be so bad if they followed up their comments with a practical suggestion like, "You look tired. Why don't you let me take the kids for the day while you have a good long nap?"

Anytime I don't wear make up this is exactly what people say. Rude! If they can't say anything nice, they shouldn't say anything at all!

What makes you think it's not sympathy?

It'd be much worse to ignore any signs that you're feeling like crap.

Do you take them up on the chance to say why you're run off your feet?

I've had a number of colleagues, friends and my husband literally tell me I lion like crap this week. It is really not helping

I agree. I make a point of NOT telling people that they look tired or knackered. You might as well just tell them that they look awful and haggard. It is very rude, imo.

What's that about crapping like a lion Wolfcub??

I hate being told how tired I look. If people said I looked like I'd been really busy then this sounds better than tired.

so fecking knackered I can't even type

I had one frenemy years ago who used to tell me I looked tired. Strangely enough she always picked times when I looked good - nice clothes, bit of slap on etc. When I spotted the pattern I was Basically she was trying to subtly put me down when I looked nice - all 'Oh you look tired. Is everything okay?'

Needless to say she is an ex-frenemy :o

Agent, Ok, some people might mean well, but it is really not what you want to hear at a vulnerable time and it is not helpful.
Amy, my thoughts exactly!

I took DS to meet some of DHs work mates (when he was a few weeks old) and the first thing one of them said was "You look tired". I could have punched him.

It's the 'polite' way of saying you look like shit, and a totally pointless thing to say. What does it achieve except make you feel even worse? I got it off my MIL once when I wasn't wearing make up. I just said oh I'm fine thanks, I'm just not wearing any makeup. (ie this is my natural face!)

I do think that sometimes people say things like this to give you permission to have a moan about it - it's a way to start a conversation about how you are doing and acknowledging that what you are doing is probably hard work. Still doesn't necessarily feel good though, but unless you suspect someone is actively trying to upset you, take it as a cue to offload for a while.

I often get this comment when I have no makeup on too. I do not know if it means that I look like shit without makeup on or if they are trying to tell me that I cannot hold it together and don't even have time to put some makeup on. Either way, it is not great!

DoJo, you have a point.
Sometimes it is hard to offload, for example in the workplace when you might be trying to appear competent and on top of whatever life might be throwing at you.

I get this a lot. When I am tired yes but normally I am not so tired I hide it with industrial under eye concealer.

When really gets me is when I get told I'm tired and the person asking gives me a side ways head glance too.

It makes me stabby!

I finished with a friend who kept saying that to me. If you can't say something nice don't say anything.

I tend to go so pale in the winter, that I almost turn blue! I always get the 'tired' comments.

Now I use this instead of my normal moisturiser...
tinted moistiuriser

The comments have stopped!

I hate this. It does mean "you look like shit" and is an utterly pointless comment. I only ever say it to people I know have been up for 36hours without sleep and have just said themselves how tired they are, as a sympathetic thing. Never to anyone who hoped they looked as if they were coping OK.
I get this quite a bit (pale complexion, black rings under eyes unless concealer on). My favourite answer is a spritely "Thanks!" and a big 200 watt smile which is basically a polite way of replying, "You're being an arse".

I get that "oh you look pale"
Yes?i am freeking pale,thats my freeking skin colour!!im not ill or tired im just not blessed with that lovely glow some people have!!

I used to revel in the 'you're so pale' remarks in my goth days the death warmed up look was the aim of the game.

I also get the 'you look pale, are you feeling alright' comments. I'm not ill, it's the colour of my skin - pale and washed out look. Poor DS has the same colouring as me, very pale but with dark hair and the poor boy doesn't even change colour in the summer!

Oh glad its not just me then!!good job i quite like the pale look,i dont think i look washed out,this is just who i am.

It's just bloody rude, unless followed up by an offer of baby-sitting.

Agreed its rude

Pisses me right off especially when said by colleagues with no kids who still live with their ruddy patents