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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not answer the door if I'm not expecting anyone?

66 replies

workwhatwork · 14/10/2013 13:40

I don't know why but something about the door going when I'm not expecting it makes me a little cross.

I don't like people turning up unexpectedly in case I'm not dressed properly/the house is a mess.

Other than that if its not the postman or a parcel then I often just ignore the door. Can guarantee it would only be sales or something.

Get even more annoyed if they don't go away after the first knock.

I have had a few experiences if pushy salespeople, one even put his foot in the door. Plus I have a really cheeky neighbour, so perhaps this is why.

Anyone else?

OP posts:

Bumbolina · 14/10/2013 13:46

I tend not to bother - but that is because the only people that knock in the daytime want to sell me cavity wall insulation (which we have) and convince me we could get a grant for a new boiler (we can't - we don't qualify). After listening to the same spiel 3 times in one day I no longer answer the door

Lj8893 · 14/10/2013 13:47

Yanbu.

I don't answer the door if I'm not expecting anyone, anyone that I know will ring me first to check I'm free.

KhunZhoop · 14/10/2013 13:50

We have a "Do Not Disturb" button on the doorbell - people can ring the bell, but we don't hear it in the flat. BEST INVENTION EVER. I keep it on all the time unless I'm expressly expecting someone. I figure if it's important, they'll get in touch another way.

Bramshott · 14/10/2013 13:51

I think it depends where you live. I live in a village so we don't get cold callers, so if the doorbell goes it's likely to be one of my neighbours dropping something off or asking me something. It would never occur to me NOT to answer it.

GemmaTeller · 14/10/2013 13:51

YANBU - we do it all the time

QoQ · 14/10/2013 13:53

I never answer unless I'm expecting someone, or I can see it's the postie. My ILs have form for turning up unannounced, and then getting arsey when we don't answer, even if we are not even there. Just phone ahead! It's not bloody difficult.

DuckToWater · 14/10/2013 13:54

I don't answer as it's probably someone trying to sell you something, similarly phone calls in the daytime when the number is not recognised.

If it does turn out to be someone I know I just say I was in the bath, or down the garden.

Original poster

workwhatwork · 14/10/2013 13:55

That sounds brilliant Khunzhoop, wouldn't work here as they bang the letterbox.

OP posts:

YouTheCat · 14/10/2013 13:56

I had Jehovah's Witnesses about 20 minutes ago. Had a lovely long conversation about philosophy and religion. They weren't the least bit pushy and accepted my atheist status without any horror.

MaidOfStars · 14/10/2013 13:57

I know these might be the less common situations but what if someone has crashed into your car, or has taken ill, or is running away from someone, or needs help, or is returning a lost item.....

As someone who has had to knock onto a random door after a bike accident, I was very glad that the person in the house opened up, even if she did usher me straight to kitchen so I didn't bleed all over her white living room carpet...:)

Kasterborous · 14/10/2013 13:58

YANBU I don't answer it either, they can see I'm in but I don't care.

comewinewithmoi · 14/10/2013 13:59

I do if I'm here with just baby ds. But my dds make south bloody noise, it has to be answered.

PeppiNephrine · 14/10/2013 14:09

Seems insular and unfriendly to me, but whatever you like.
Don't you ever have friends or neighbours knock on the door? Someone needing to borrow something or ask a favour or give the parcel they kindly took in for you or tell you you left the lights on your car or give you some cake? Luckily people I know don't barricade themselves inside ignore their doors, would make life less interesting.

Kasterborous · 14/10/2013 14:15

I can see who it is if they have a clipboard or ID badge on I don't answer it.

Davsmum · 14/10/2013 14:19

I don't answer the door unless I want to - which is usually most of the time - unless I am expecting someone.
I don't answer the phone unless I want to either which annoys my sister - but I told her the phone ringing is not a command to answer - its a choice.

ScarletLady02 · 14/10/2013 14:21

I'm like you Davsmum - I hate the assumed availability of mobile phones. Sometimes I feel unsociable so I'll not answer the door or phone. Obviously I will if I'm expecting someone, I'm not a total cunt

valiumredhead · 14/10/2013 14:23

I always answer in case it's a friend popping in for a cuppa.

KhunZhoop · 14/10/2013 14:25

It's a block of flats, so they can't get to the letterbox to bang it if we don't buzz them in. It's great stuff.

Sukebind · 14/10/2013 14:25

In that case, unless it's the meter reader, then YANBU. We often get people asking us if we want our double-glazing/paving/paintwork/etc. redone, pointing out it really needs doing (rude!). Like I am not completely aware. If I had the money to have these things done I would not be sitting cluelessly in my house waiting for someone to knock and offer to do it. Moreover, when I say no I often get an even ruder reaction, .e.g. 'everyone says they have a builder in the family' (in my case it's true); sighs of exasperation, arguing, offering to do a lesser job fo me, etc. I don't see why I should be made to feel like I am lying or BU in my own home in this way.

Original poster

workwhatwork · 14/10/2013 14:26

Peppinephrine, I always know when I'm expecting a parcel, I take my neighbours parcels in if I see the van.

And yes I do have people knock for favours, partly why I don't answer the door.

Let me think I've a very cheeky neighbour who has knocked for lifts and even asked to borrow my car, I've had a woman from up the road trying to sell me her old shoes, I've had someone claiming to be from the Red Cross put his foot in the door when I refused to let him in.

If its anyone I know or care about then they can ring or text.

OP posts:

Catsmamma · 14/10/2013 14:31

you unsociable lot!

I hope all your unannounced visitors wake your sleeping babies! :P

Weeantwee · 14/10/2013 14:35

I don't answer our flat buzzer if I'm not expecting anyone. It's usually our neighbours friend who thinks I'm her PA or something. But if someone knocks on our door, which means they have managed to get into the building, I'll answer. It tends to be charity people who then make me feel guilty for turning them away after they have walked up 3 flights of stairs.

BrianTheMole · 14/10/2013 14:35

Not unreasonable at all. But then we get at least 4 cold callers here a day. And its bloody annoying.

comingalongnicely · 14/10/2013 14:37

I'm faintly envious that you know when the postie is due to knock. Ours is anytime between 8 & 3.

Even if I'm not expecting a parcel for myself I'll answer as it's often one for next door & they return the favour.

elcranko · 14/10/2013 14:41

YANBU I do this a lot! I do tend to have a sneaky peep out of an upstairs window to check it's no one important though. If it's someone trying to sell me something or an unannounced visitor that I can't be arsed making a brew for then they get ignored.

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