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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that thin people don't get asked this question?

41 replies

poachedeggs · 11/10/2013 07:07

Or perhaps I'm being hypersensitive. But it really pisses me off!

Twice recently I've bumped into acquaintances when I've been setting off on a bike ride. Both times they've been really surprised and asked "Are you trying to get fit?".

Now I'm not a skinny type. I'm size 18. However, I exercise 2-3 times a week and walk daily. I can keep up when a group of us ride and I have good stamina. I rode 20 miles off road on Saturday, comfortably. I do all of this for convenience and pleasure, nothing more. I feel like because I'm fat people assume I must be trying to change myself.

So do thin people get asked this too?

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 11/10/2013 07:09

I've been fat and think and only been asked it when I was fat. So ime, yanbu.

There are still lots of people out there who wrongly associate thin with being fit.

TidyDancer · 11/10/2013 07:09

Fat and think thin

Methe · 11/10/2013 07:10

Of course they would! What else would you ask someone who was just heading out on their bike?

Quodlibet · 11/10/2013 07:10

No, and you are much much fitter than me. I'm a size 10 and look 'fit' but couldn't ride 20 miles.

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 11/10/2013 07:10

I am quite slim, and when I go running I get "oh, you don't need to do that!", as though the only point of exercise is to lose weight.

Just keep biking op and ignore, ignore, ignore!

Original poster
poachedeggs · 11/10/2013 07:11

Is there a rule that you must ask something?!

OP posts:
Original poster
poachedeggs · 11/10/2013 07:13

This is it, I have skinny mates who can't ride at my pace. People are inevitably surprised that I'm not as slow as they'd expected, which is in itself a bit annoying. I just point out to them that you can't carry 5 extra stones around without being pretty fit Grin … also, I have a personal rule that I will never waddle!

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 11/10/2013 07:15

I lit like a rake and people keep asking me that, usually whilst laughing too...

Yabu and a bit oversensitive too.

Flicktheswitch · 11/10/2013 07:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamapants · 11/10/2013 07:21

I am a size 6 and imagine if anyone ever saw me on a bike they would ask if I was on a fitness kick, definitely.
I am not unfit but I'm not very sporty. People say the same if they see me or DP (also slim) running.
I don't think its size related.
Although if I had seen you heading out on your bike I would say something along the lines of how you must be much fitter than me! It seems to be a more popular comment.
Mumsnet always surprises with me though with how people can take random comments and turn them negative. Like when loads of people got het up about being told they look well.

Original poster
poachedeggs · 11/10/2013 07:27

I don't get arsey when people ask this, by the way. I just say "No, I just like cycling". But the surprise is what narks me. If I see someone eating a cake I don't ask "Are you trying to gain weight?". I just assume they like cake

OP posts:
Jinty64 · 11/10/2013 07:34

But if they see you eating a salad it's likely to be "oh salad! Are you on a diet" or perhaps I'm just sensitive too.

YANBU

FacebookWanker · 11/10/2013 07:36

I had "you don't need to worry about that" from the midwife at my booking in appointment when I told her I was going to strat eating healthily during my pregnancy.

oohdaddypig · 11/10/2013 07:40

Sometimes I think people just like making polite (slightly inane) conversation....

In fairness, I think most people who are 5 stone overweight probably aren't very fit. The two things don't generally go hand in hand.. You sound very fit.

TEErickOrTEEreat · 11/10/2013 07:41

Methe How about 'Where are you riding too?' or even 'Have a nice ride!'

Why imply anything about fitness or the state thereof?

flipchart · 11/10/2013 08:03

I would ask that question to someone that I hadn't previously known to ride a bike. Eg if DH suddenly decided to take up cycling I would ask him that. However if my friend who is over weight but she is a gym bunny did it wouldn't suprise me IYSWIM

It wouldn't be a weight issue, more of a change in character.

Original poster
poachedeggs · 11/10/2013 08:19

That's the thing flip, I've been cycling for a year and a half and before that I used to run. It's not a change. These are acquaintances who know me via my job or the DC. They presumably expect me to be lying on a sofa eating Dairy Milk, not setting off into the darkness on a bike.

I only lie on the sofa eating Dairy Milk a few days a week

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 11/10/2013 08:25

People make assumptions rightly or wrongly. I have lost a fair bit of weigh on my health/gym kick and get all sorts of ridiculous comments made to me.

HopeS01 · 11/10/2013 08:46

I totally agree OP, YANBU

HighJinx · 11/10/2013 09:00

YANBU people have a totally skewed that exercise is nothing more than a way to get/stay slim.

I also get a bit irritated by the people who make comments about my going running or for a bike ride that are clearly said just to make them feel better about the fact that they don't exercise when there is no need to say anything at all.

stowsettler · 11/10/2013 09:05

Surely it's whether people are used to it or not? I am by no means thin, but I am quite fit and do a lot of exercise. No-one comments if I'm out for a run or off down the gym because they're used to it.

AryaofhouseSnark · 11/10/2013 09:09

I am thin ish. Used to be a lot thinner, people always used to ask me if I was trying to keep fit when I cycled to work.
Maybe it's just one of those silly things you just say, instead of talking about the weather, holidays etc.

UriGHOULer · 11/10/2013 09:27

Thin people get asked, "are you alright? You look tired" and "Have you eaten?" And "Oh, we're going out for a meal but you won't be interested, will you?"
And "You're very thin, aren't you?"

People just want to say something.

GrendelsMum · 11/10/2013 09:27

With me, it's always something like 'ooh, you're very good', or 'ooh, you must be fit' when they hear I cycle in to work. It's only 30mins,so I don't feel qualified for sainthood just yet...

WorraLiberty · 11/10/2013 11:04

It's probably got nothing to do with your weight and more to do with the fact so many people drive everywhere, rather than cycle or walk.

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