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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that you shouldn't dump someone IN BED!

80 replies

gail734 · 10/10/2013 19:55

Years ago, I had a boyfriend who did this! I'd been going out with him for 18 months and although I'd spent the whole of the evening in question with him, he didn't chuck me until we got into bed together. Looking back, I think he was too cowardly to do it face to face, but once the lights were out he found that he could do it. I didn't live with him, but I'd driven there and then had several drinks, so I still stayed the night (in the spare room). No idea why I didn't get a taxi - I was kind of mortified by shock tbh. I also have a friend who was once dumped at the top of a mountain! She and her now ex-boyfriend then hiked back to her car and she still gave him a lift home. We thought it would have been so funny if she'd left him in the wilderness, but on reflection maybe maintaining her dignity was good. What's the shittiest way in which you've been dumped?

OP posts:

dizzy101 · 10/10/2013 20:07

16 and pregnant to my 23year old then boyfriend.phoned me and told me he wasn't ready to be a dad(5months gone)and didn't want fuck all to-do with me or baby.21years on he still never met his son.could have done it in person!

Lj8893 · 10/10/2013 20:10

Not quite in the same league as those, but when I was with my first boyfriend (I was about 15) he had spent all evening at mine like normal (he lived on the same road) , and then had a big conversation about how amazing it would be to have a really close female friend who lived nearby.

I didn't click until he left that he meant he just wanted to be my friend.

We are still friends now!

PenguinDancer · 10/10/2013 20:16

He was moving, kissed me at the airport, said he would call when he landed and never did.

Told his mate (and mine) not to give me his number. We were only 17/18.

Funny now :o

AngelsLieToKeepControl · 10/10/2013 20:18

I was 18 and pregnant and my delightful 22 year old boyfriend sent his overbearing Mother round to finish with me and talk me into having a termination, instead she ended up offering me £2000 to give her my baby, she had a document that she had printed out and a cheque with her.

I also had a relationship end in bed when my boyfriend informed me that his best friend gave him a blow job a couple of nights before, but it was OK because 'lads always piss about like that when they are drunk'

Original poster

gail734 · 10/10/2013 20:19

God, dizzy, that's awful!
I've also remembered a cousin who had moved in with her boyfriend in London. It was his idea that she moved in. One Friday night, after a night out, he sat her down and explained that it just wasn't working out for him and that she would have to move out. But she didn't have to go immediately, he charitably explained: she could stay until the next day! Luckily a nearby relative was able to take her in!

OP posts:

Lazysuzanne · 10/10/2013 20:22

'she ended up offering me £2000 to give her my baby, she had a document that she had printed out and a cheque with her. '

thats gotta be illegal
you could bribe her
oh wait, that'd also be illegal :o

Kayakinggirl86 · 10/10/2013 20:28

No where near in the same league as the other university boy friend (met in freshers week) sent me a text 6min before my final exam saying we needed to slow down or take a break. Apparently I was not meant to get the message till after my exam- cause that make dumping someone you have been with for over 4 years so much better :s

AngelsLieToKeepControl · 10/10/2013 20:29

I should have taken the cheque from her actually. The document she had with her was just typed up on her computer and printed out. I was too shocked to say much really.

Her opening line was 'My son has asked me to come and end things and ask you to have an abortion, but I'm going to give you another option' like me giving birth and keeping my child myself was never on the cards because they said so, bunch of weirdos

DownstairsMixUp · 10/10/2013 20:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 10/10/2013 20:33

My ex introduced me to his new boyfriend explaining that he was gay and the relationship was over. All forgiven when he introduced me to his cousin ( the cousin is now my DH)

dizzy101 · 10/10/2013 20:36

Gail was awful but he missed out on a great son. Angel I would have took money and ran his mother told me "get rid of it you northern scrubber".

AngelsLieToKeepControl · 10/10/2013 20:41

I know someone (many years ago now) who was dumped by a guy who shoved an envelope through her door with a note saying 'sorry' and a pair of blue baby booties in it then he completely disappeared never to be seen again.

iklboo · 10/10/2013 20:46

A note on the kitchen counter.

kiriwawa · 10/10/2013 20:47

I've been dumped 3 times in bed after we've had sex. Just lovely

I'm never quite sure if that means I'm rubbish in bed and tipped them over the edge or they thought that was the best bit of the relationship and so wanted to do it one last time :o

Original poster

gail734 · 10/10/2013 20:50

Forty - I've always wondered if maybe being dumped for a member of the opposite sex would somehow be easier. Dizzy - did they really never show any interest at all? Has your son asked about his biological father?

OP posts:

Faith48 · 10/10/2013 20:54

I drove 50 miles to my then boyfriend 3 months pregnant with an overnight bag packed, within 10 minutes of arriving I was dumped and driving home.

Got back together, lasted a year before getting out of the shower 5 weeks pregnant to him standing in the hall with a bag packed telling me that he would be back for the rest tomorrow.

I have 2 beautiful children out of it but you would I thought that I would have learnt.

Faith48 · 10/10/2013 20:54

I drove 50 miles to my then boyfriend 3 months pregnant with an overnight bag packed, within 10 minutes of arriving I was dumped and driving home.

Got back together, lasted 2 years before getting out of the shower 5 weeks pregnant to him standing in the hall with a bag packed telling me that he would be back for the rest tomorrow.

I have 2 beautiful children out of it but you would I thought that I would have learnt.

BonaDea · 10/10/2013 20:56

Oh god. Went on a date with a guy I'd been seeing for a few months. He spent quite a lot of it talking about future plans including that he'd love to take me to Paris.

We'd been out in his city but were staying at my place in my city so got on the train. About 45 mins into the 1hr journey he dumped me. We were on the last train and so he had no way back. My 34 year old self would have told him tough luck and he could shell out for a cab or a hotel but my naive 24 year old self asked him back to my one bed place where we shared a bed. I was so miserable.

I rang in sick the next day I was so sad and mortified.

WilsonFrickett · 10/10/2013 21:00

Not in the same league as many of these but I was once dumped at a party in front of every single person in my college year group for 'being too slutty'. I've bee dumped by text and letter. But my best ever was my first 'love' who dumped me with the immortal words 'my friends think I should be going out with someone good looking. I mean, obviously I think you're alright looking, but no-one else can see it, really.'

wonderingsoul · 10/10/2013 21:05

wow these are crazy.

my ex husband, whikst in another country got his sister to message me on myspace that I was getting a divorce, no reason.

ex after exhusband took me and my kids on a lovely day out then when we got back to minetold me he loved me than dumped me... then had the gall to post a nice smiley picture of us from our day out on facebook.

Twooter · 10/10/2013 21:05

I was dumped by a letter at university. The thing that annoyed me most was that he'd sent it by second class.

dizzy101 · 10/10/2013 21:05

Gail his father escaped pay any support and only contacted him 2years ago on fb to tellin him he has 4other siblings with 3 woman. My son tell him will see him with a baseball bat in his hand.its very hurtful for him though when he see photos on fb of his Dad and all kids, but no mention of him. Excuse spelling it's new phone and hard to use

dizzy101 · 10/10/2013 21:09

FreeWee · 10/10/2013 21:23

Nowhere near as bad as some of these. Boy are men shits sometimes!

One bloke emigrated to New Zealand without telling me. He said he was going travelling for a few months but when he got there never replied to any of my emails and I later found out from a mutual friend he'd applied for citizenship! I saw him at said mutual friend's wedding, well my DH saw him first with the words "Who is that?" I took one look and burst out laughing. He'd turned into a new age hippy! He had dreadlocks and was dressed in a kaftan and sandals at a wedding.

Other chap got me to move to the north from the south and then never returned a single call or email from the day I moved.

Other boyfriend when I was at uni got me to drive 100s of miles to meet his family on his birthday going out for a big meal. I had to stay in the spare room at his family's house then he tried to make me leave first thing in the morning so he could meet his friends without me. Things should have clicked then but I invited him down to meet my family and booked tickets for a concert. He phoned me on the day to dump me leaving me with a family meal and concert tickets to 'enjoy'. Fortunately my best mate was with me when he called and took me to the pub to commiserate. She also joined me at the family meal and concert. That's what best mates are for

Oh I also got dumped by text after another boyfriend introduced me to all his friends on a big night out. They all said how much they liked me and hoped I'd come out with them again (all worked together and I was the new girl). Except one girl who'd asked me earlier in the evening if I had a boyfriend. I said "yes I'm seeing Bloke". She said "Oh yeah we've all snogged Bloke" Maybe, but he'd been seeing me since I'd started working there a few weeks previously. So he dumps me by text and I find out from his friends (who it turns out liked me more than him) that he's stated seeing 'All snogged him' girl. Via mutual friends Facebook now tells me they're married! I'm happy for them but he shouldn't have been such a dick about it. It was hardly romance of the year but he and she ignored me if we saw each other in the corridors which made things unnecessarily awkward.

Hmm that's quite a history of dicks I've been out with! Fortunately not as bad as the examples above but clearly I'm a terrible judge of character!

Sinful1 · 10/10/2013 21:58

Not sure if this counts as I was the one who was trying to do the dumping in the first place, nothing dickish just found that didn't feel the same anymore so I went round we sat down and had a talk she seemed fine a bit teary but said she understood that sometimes people grow apart.

She got up and went off to the kitchen without saying anything so I waited a moment then followed to see if she was ok, cue me walking through the kitchen door to see her stood there looking angry as hell, next thing I know she comes flying at me with something in her hand managed to push her off and leg it outside before realising what she'd had was a Stanly knife I now have a huge scar running right from me shoulder to the opposite hip.

Never went to the police/hospital so it never got stiched like it needed so the scar is huge and lumped out.
It's always a fun explanation when I take my shirt off and look like I lost a sword

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