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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my husband UR

47 replies

Periodsarenotagift · 26/09/2013 21:50

I suffer from heavy,long and painful periods.

I finally plucked up the courage to see my doctor whom advised me that the Mirena coil would be the best option.

I have talked to my DH and he does not want me to have any contraception as it does not agree with me.

When I have hormonal contraception I always have very light periods that can last for months, i tend to get depressed and have a lot of mood swings.

Before anyone asks DH has had a vasectomy so an unplanned pregnancy is very unlikely. This was one of the second biggest factor in him having the operation done.

I guess I am sick of being in pain 5-6 days every 28 day

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 26/09/2013 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsVestibule · 26/09/2013 21:57

Erm, I'm a bit confused. Why doesn't your DH want you to have a Mirena coil fitted? In what why doesn't 'any' contraception agree with you?

Original poster
Periodsarenotagift · 26/09/2013 21:58

I will have to look up what that is.

I have no fact about this coil, but I think it must be the cheapest option for the NHS, which I understand especially if it solves the problems I have.

OP posts:
LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 26/09/2013 21:59

Is your DH concerned about the effects of hormone contraceptives on your emotional wellbeing? And are you?

Original poster
Periodsarenotagift · 26/09/2013 22:00

MsVestibule When I have hormonal contraception I always have very light periods that can last for months, i tend to get depressed and have a lot of mood swings.

OP posts:
LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 26/09/2013 22:02

I think you could compromise and have the coil fitted for 3 months and see how you go. If it makes you depressed and gives you mood swings, you could have it removed. Maybe he could go to the GP with you so you can both discuss the options.

Original poster
Periodsarenotagift · 26/09/2013 22:03

I know he is concerned about my emotional heath. I have never seen my mood swings so i don't know how bad they are.

My parents and siblings have even said I am much more happier since DH has had the operation done.

OP posts:
EdithWeston · 26/09/2013 22:04

Did the GP refer you for a scan? I was wondering how old you are and if you have a definite diagnosis. Was the mirena the only suggestion (ie the best to try of several) or the only option? And was the GP fully aware of your difficulties with hormones before?

It's difficult to tell from your post if your DH's view is rooted in concern for you well-being, or if he's being a bit of an ass with a knee jerk reaction, or if he's being unduly controlling.

What counts here is what weight you put on those factors and possibilities. It's your body and your choice. Unless your DH happens to be a doctor, then the GPs knowledge and assessment of the risks/benefits will trump his from the medical pov. But your DH presumably knows you well and has seen what side effects mean I practice for you and for your relationship.

Original poster
Periodsarenotagift · 26/09/2013 22:04

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance that is a good suggestion, why didn't I think of that.

OP posts:
bringbackopalfruits · 26/09/2013 22:05

It sounds like your DH is going from experience and has real concerns, that hormonal contraception makes you miserable. So not good for you or your relationship. personally I wouldn't touch the Mirena with a barge pole, especially if I had your history.

I'd ask your GP to look at other options. Of course you don't want to carry on as you are, but I think your DH is right that the coil option isn't good either.

forumdonkey · 26/09/2013 22:07

The Merina changed my life - literally. I know it sounds very dramatic saying that but it did. Is your DH problem the fact you will be having something that is also contraception? This was my exh problem because he'd had a vasectomy. I wish I'd have done it years ago.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 26/09/2013 22:07

V happy to help. I hope you find a good solution to the problem. Smile

Original poster
Periodsarenotagift · 26/09/2013 22:07

I am 28.

This is the first time i have even talk to a doctor about it

OP posts:
RandomMess · 26/09/2013 22:07

I tried the mirena, it has hormones in it if you are sensitive to them then you will react - I bleed for the first 6 months and carried on having week long "periods" yes although light still blighted my life.

I then had womb ablation - the absolutely best thing I did ever, virtually no bleeding at all, teeny bit of spotting a couple of days.

LilyAmaryllis · 26/09/2013 22:08

I've seen a few threads on here really criticising the Mirena coil (perhaps other coils are not so troublesome?) I'd do a search and read some of the Mirena threads on MN.

RandomMess · 26/09/2013 22:09

I agree you should have had scans to rule out any cause for heavy and painful periods before they do anything, they need to rule certain things out.

PoppyWearer · 26/09/2013 22:11

My DH hasn't had the snip but I also suffer badly from hormonal contraceptives so currently not taking anything and also not happy with my periods.

Here's what my (NHS) GP has offered me:

  • internal scan to see what's going on with my womb lining, also to check for any cysts, etc
  • full blood tests on hormone, iron levels, etc etc etc (the works)
  • then return appointment the same day as the scan where we can review results and decide on Mirena coil, hormone therapy or whatever is needed.

I know someone who had problem periods and had the uterus lining burnt off (as mentioned by a previous poster) and she swears by it.

I'm not a medical expert but if my GP can offer me all that before we think about Mirena, then so can yours.

My DH also not keen on Mirena, FWIW, also concerned about hormones and the effect on me, but not in a putting-his-foot-down way.

Lililly · 26/09/2013 22:21

My experience is that all hormonal contraception gives the same effect on mood, though I have been convinced/ duped several times that 'this one is different' last being implanon, I was particularly concerned that after weeks of awful side effects, I could not get a quick appointment to have it removed as they were reluctant, 'preferring their ladies to leave it in for 6m '
So my advice would be to make an appointment with the person who puts it in for say 3m time, and make sure they agree that they will remove it if it is causing problems.

Trills · 26/09/2013 22:28

my DH and he does not want me to have any contraception as it does not agree with me

He's worried that you have been recommended something that will make you unwell.

How is that unreasonable?

He might be wrong or might be right, but his worry is perfectly reasonable if hormonal contraception has disagreed with you in the past.

Original poster
Periodsarenotagift · 26/09/2013 22:29

I think i will book another appointment with my doctor and take DH along with me.

OP posts:
Onsera3 · 26/09/2013 22:39

Taking contraception may alleviate the symptoms but may mask a problem like endo or cysts. Unfortunately, even scans can't always detect endo. I took contraceptives for nearly 15 years for my horrendous period pain. Scans looked fine. By the time I saw a Gynae and had op it was too bad for laser treatment. Had to have more intensive surgery. Pain lessened but came back while I was TTC. I was also unable to conceive at 30 so had to have IVF.

I complained to GPs for 15 yrs about my periods and it wasn't til I saw Gynae that I got anywhere. If suggest you ask for a referral. Who knows what is causing your pain? Could be nothing but worth investigation rather than just something to mask symptoms IMO.

MutantAndProud · 26/09/2013 22:45

A PP mentioned the 'other coils' aka copper cool. They are not a good idea for those who suffer heavy periods as they can make periods heavier and more painful.

The Mirena hasn't been offered to you because it is the cheapest option. It's been offered to you because it's the best non surgical way of controlling heavy periods (menorrhagia) and painful periods (dysmenorrhea).

To have endometrial ablation you would have to be referred to a gynae and I can guarantee they will want you to try a Mirena first.

The Mirena has a lot of bad press on the Internet. Quite undeservedly in my personal and professional opinion (im a doc). The hormones act locally on the womb lining rather than systemically so the hormonal side effects are less. Not everyone gets on with it like any contraception but just because you've not got on with other methods of hormonal contraception doesn't preclude you from this. I used to be on the combined pill (as I suffer both with heavy and painful periods) and reacted awfully to them, mood swings etc etc. the Mirena has changed my life without a shadow of a doubt. I used to have to take a week off school every month due to how bad my periods were. I'm on my second Mirena, I bloody love it! I'm one of the lucky 20% of Mirena users who don't have periods at all on it but even the other ladies who do, their periods are often lighter and less painful.

I would go back and have a good talk with your GP just about the Mirena. Write your questions and concerns about it down and discuss them with him/her. Obv if at the end of it you don't think it's for you then fine but don't dismiss it out of hand.

Good luck.

BrokenSunglasses · 26/09/2013 22:45

Would a copper coil have the a similar effect on periods, or does it have to have the hormones in it to do the job?

MutantAndProud · 26/09/2013 22:47

Actually onsera brings up a good point. It might be worth being referred to a gynae anyway and have a diagnostic lap to see if there is another reason (endometriosis or fibroids) which are causing your painful periods.

MutantAndProud · 26/09/2013 22:49

Brokensunglasses copper coils can make periods heavier and more painful. It's the hormones in Mirena that works on the periods.

Good luck either way OP. Painful and heavy periods are just horrendous.

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