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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think, actually, no method of contraception will suit me?

49 replies

FennCara · 23/09/2013 20:45

I'm breastfeeding, so combined pill is out.

I'm rubbish with the minipill and forgot it enough to get pregnant.

Condoms, although a must in terms of sexual health, have torn THREE TIMES and I really want an additional method.

I am terrified of needles, the injection and implant fill me with fear.

I know a couple of babies conceived with the coil in place, but I'm open to positive stories. Ditto IUS.

I've never had regular periods so natural methods are out.

The patch? Does it work in real life?

I dont want any more children but not certain enough for permemant methods.

What do you use & how is it? Why is there not a pill you take once a month?!

OP posts:
Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 23/09/2013 20:49

Mirena coil? Not intrusive, very very low hormone dose and once it's in no need to worry. It suited me well at a time when other mainstream forms of contraception didn't.

divegirl77 · 23/09/2013 20:51

The mirena coil is as effective as female sterilization. Nothing is 100% unless you keep your legs shut.

VinegarDrinker · 23/09/2013 20:51

There obviously are Mirena babies, but they are rare. It's more effective than sterilisation, and is the method used by most female gynaecologists.

Writerwannabe83 · 23/09/2013 20:55

I had a Mirena, loved it! Periods pretty much stopped and I no longer had to worry about contraception, it was just so convenient. I had it in for 3 years and then had it removed it in order to conceive, which I did, six weeks later Smile

phantomnamechanger · 23/09/2013 20:55

I was going to say mirena too!

been on mine 7 years, so on my second one, has all been an absolute doddle! strongly recommend.

BTW I was recommended it for ghastly heavy periods, the easy reliable contraception was an added bonus!

OmNom · 23/09/2013 20:57

I'm similarly awkward (although for different reasons) and I use a diaphragm (what used to be called a Dutch cap...)

No hormones, nothing permanent, no needles etc. You can put it in 2-3 hours before sex so none of that annoying break in proceedings you get with condoms. You have to be happy furtling around in your nethers to put it in and take it out, though. And it's only 92-96 per cent effective (and that's if you use it correctly)

YoniBottsBumgina · 23/09/2013 21:06

How old is the baby you are BFing? Combined pill is safe, but may reduce supply, so it's not recommended if you have a baby who still relies mainly on milk for their nutrition. (So it's okay once they're established on solids too).

My experience was that supply dipped for about a week but DS was very able to get it back up to speed again!

You could ask if your doctor would prescribe the NuvaRing - it's a smallish silicon ring which is inserted at the top of your vagina near the cervix, you wear it for 3 weeks, remove to have a period, and then put a fresh one in after a week's break. Very popular in the US, not all doctors have heard of it here, but your doctor should be able to prescribe it even if it means the pharmacy have to order it in. The problem is as it's unfamiliar some doctors will refuse because they don't know much about it - but it could be worth asking :)

YoniBottsBumgina · 23/09/2013 21:07

Also how in God's name have you managed to tear a condom 3 times?! Is this a stealth boast about the size of your DH's equipment or do you just have really long nails? Grin

Original poster
FennCara · 23/09/2013 21:10

Thank you! Am swaying to mirena now. Hadnt even thought of a diaphragm, although not sure i could reliably plan in advance of sex. Blush

OP posts:
MrsWedgeAntilles · 23/09/2013 21:18

The patch is fabulous but it uses the same hormones as the combined pill so if you can't take the pill you wouldn't be able to use the patch either.

The Mirena (IUS) is very good and according to the research so is the copper coil (IUD), I think you may have experienced a statistical blip with the pregnancies you've known. That said you have to feel confident in the method you choose so no matter how good the IUD is if you've know it to fail you might not have that confidence.

You could try a combination of methods, maybe POP (mini pill) and condoms or diaphragm that way you'd have to be unlucky to experience failure in both methods at the same time. I don't know how long its been since you last took POP but fairly recently they brought a new version out with a pill taking window of 12 hours rather than just 3. Would that be helpful?

Go and have a chat to a family planning nurse, they'll have loads of ideas.

CarpeVinum · 23/09/2013 21:23

Do yon have anything like this where you are ?

I've not used it, but going by the ads I think it works like an ovulation checker, but for daily contraceptive use. If the hormones in your pee turns the monitor red it isn't safe to have sex, green you can.

i do wish the couple advertising it would stop the sudden and deeply unconvincing canoodling, other than that it seems like an interesting idea for people who don't get on with other methods. As long as it works.

YoniBottsBumgina · 23/09/2013 21:23

I think also maybe you tend to hear about coil pregnancies, because if someone gets pregnant while on the pill there is more room for "maybe I didn't take it properly" which you might feel embarrassed about and want to hide perhaps? But on the coil because you don't have to actually do anything, it is a bit more of a shock if you do get pregnant so you might be more inclined to talk about it.

MrsWedgeAntilles · 23/09/2013 21:24

Also with condoms its really important that they are the right size and fit. Get down to the local clinic and ask them for a variety of sizes and get your DH to try them on. If you're keen to use condoms and the normal sizes are just not cutting the mustard there is a service online where they send you measuring implements, you send back his measurements and they make you bespoke condoms. I can't remember what its called off the top of my head though. One word of warning though, if you are going down the internet condom route make sure they are kitemarked or it could all go pear shaped.

sausageandorangepickle · 23/09/2013 21:24

Re the diaphragm - depending how exciting your sex life is, you can just put it in as part of your bedtime routine so it's there if you need it and no worries if not........

**doesn't work if you have quickies on the sofa at nap time etc etc

YoniBottsBumgina · 23/09/2013 21:27

Although YY there is definitely a mini pill which has a window of 12 hours now. I set 3 alarms on my phone and take it after the time in the evening when I get up in the morning. (Am on combined pill, POP made me bleed a lot) - one at 8.30ish saying "Time to take your pill", if I forget that, one at about 11pm saying "Did you forget your pill?" and one at 7am saying "No really, did you take your pill?"

I usually take it between 8.30 and 11 so if I do forget 7am isn't too late to scarf one down. If you forget then you should use condoms for 7 days, but some pills have different instructions - Gedarel for example has complicated instructions about changing the days you take it if you miss one. Best to read the leaflet with the one you have!

OmNom · 23/09/2013 21:27

Second the advice to talk to a contraceptive/family planning clinic nurse - they're very helpful. I also used this site

Just to be clear re diaphragm (not trying to push it on you honest! just thinking now that my post was unclear) - you don't have to put it in three hours before, it's just that you can. It suits me cos I don't live with my partner but I know when I'm going to see him so can plan ahead, IYKWIM

MrsWedgeAntilles · 23/09/2013 21:38

Thanks, OmNom, I am one :)
I love the my contraceptive tool on your link, I'd recommend that too.

Tavv · 23/09/2013 21:43

Mirena is more reliable that the diaphragm and you don't have to think about it once it's in.

OmNom · 23/09/2013 21:44

Good for you MrsWedge - tis a good service!

MrsWedgeAntilles · 23/09/2013 21:46

Aw shucks, OmNom Blush
I love it, easily the best job I've ever had :)

christinarossetti · 23/09/2013 21:52

Where do people get their diaphragms from?

I'm in London and my local family planning clinic doesn't do them anymore, and neither does my GP due to the low rate of effectiveness.

OmNom · 23/09/2013 21:56

I got mine from the sexual health clinic where I live (not London). It's true that they're just about the least effective form of contraception you can get, sadly (although you can double-up with condoms for your most fertile days) - but seems a shame not to make them available to people who can't use anything else.

nothingbyhalves · 23/09/2013 21:57

I had a implant when dt's were 7 months old. Some wired periods fur a while but settled down. I just had my second one . It lasts 3 years and is statistically the mist effective form of contraception according to my midwife ds and a good friend who is a family planning doctor. I like you don't want any more little ones but am not sure enough for anything too permanent !

MrsWedgeAntilles · 23/09/2013 21:59

Christina, you could try getting in touch with the FPA at www.fpa.org.uk to find out who's fitting them near you.

.

Loopytiles · 23/09/2013 21:59

Vasectomy!