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AIBU?

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Original poster

To let ds do his special head rub to other babies?

41 replies

froken · 19/09/2013 20:22

Ds is 9 months old, he has started liking other babies.

We go out to different groups most days, he has started doing a special strange head rub thing to other babies. He crawls up to them, puts his head down and leans his head on the other baby's head.

He doesn't bite or push them over, he is gentle but it is invading the other babies personal space.

I think (hope) that the head rub is actually a cuddle, I always put my head close to his whilst cuddling him and dp sniffs ds's head when he cuddles him.

A couple of times the child at the recieving end of the head rub has become upset and I have immediatly taken ds away, normally the child just looks at ds.

Some of the little children pinch/bite/hit, I am aware that that is compleatly normal behaviour in small children. The parents follow them around saying "no we don't bite/hit/pinch"

Should I also be telling ds "no we don't head rub with other people"?

OP posts:
MirandaGoshawk · 19/09/2013 20:24

Aah, it sounds really sweet! It also sounds as if you are managing it well, taking him away if the other baby doesn't like it.

But you are right that it is invading their space, and others might not agree with me.

JaneFonda · 19/09/2013 20:24

That sounds absolutely adorable.

Honestly, there is no point trying to discipline a 9 month old - he is tiny, and just won't understand!

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 19/09/2013 20:25

The head rub sounds spot on to me. He sounds like a lovely, sociable little boy.

SeaSickSal · 19/09/2013 20:25

No, I would let him do it. I wouldn't have minded. I think the children that get upset would probably get upset by any contact with another baby.

Sleepingbunnies · 19/09/2013 20:26

That sounds so so cute and I also agree with Jane he is too tiny to be told not to do it! :)

hettienne · 19/09/2013 20:27

I'd let him do it but be quick to intervene if the other baby looks unhappy.

Melonbreath · 19/09/2013 20:27

Just let him do his thing and if he narks off babies remove him. It's more polite than my dd who crawls up to anyone big or small and jams her finger up their nose

olidusUrsus · 19/09/2013 20:28

Yy he's too small to be disclipined. Let him do it and if the recipient baby isn't very pleased then gently steer him away.

Lcbirdy · 19/09/2013 20:28

My dd is also 9 months. She has funny little ways with other babies too. I usually just ask the parent of the other baby if they're ok with it. Nobody has said no!

He sounds gorgeous, btw!

BrokenSunglasses · 19/09/2013 20:30

It does sound cute! There's no pont telling him not to do it, you'd be saying things for the benefit of other mothers, not your baby.

As long as you are close by and you move your ds if one of the babies is looking like they will grumble, then stop worrying and just smile at how sweet your baby is.

hoppingmad · 19/09/2013 20:33

Ah bless, but be warned it might turn into a headbutt. Dts used to do this, now it's a headbutt - not so cute Hmm

Original poster
froken · 19/09/2013 20:37

I'm glad it is seen as ok :) I will watch carefully and see if it turns into a headbut!

He has also started trying to put his fingers in other people's mouths, I think because I am forever putting my fingers in his mouth to check for new teeth. I am sure a couple of little bites will stop him doing that!

OP posts:
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 19/09/2013 20:49

I think I would stop him doing it.

If he's leaning into the other child he is potentially putting his weight onto them, which really wouldn't be nice for them especially if they are smaller/ weaker.

Can you not try and teach him something less space invading?

elcranko · 20/09/2013 00:06

Aw he sounds so cute and affectionate!

My DD pulls my hair during cuddles, I think she needs to take some tips from your DS Grin

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 20/09/2013 00:12

It sounds quite sweet :)

However, I'd stop him now (and no, he's not too young to start learning 'no') as it could easily turn into headbutting by accident. Or on purpose! It's easier to stop it now when it has only just begun.

BopsX3 · 20/09/2013 00:13

awww that is cute! just carry on as you are Smile

My DS (also 9mo) likes to grab peoples noses or grabs and sucks their tops Grin

WafflyVersatile · 20/09/2013 00:14

He's a 9 month old exploring his world, same as the other babies. Leave him be, unless the other baby looks upset, same as you are doing and same as you would do with any other behaviour.

ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight · 20/09/2013 08:15

Do you have a cat OP? My cat does this Grin

valiumredhead · 20/09/2013 08:25

That sounds so sweetSmile

Thepowerof3 · 20/09/2013 08:43

He's welcome to give my 9 month old a head rub, sounds cute

CrazyOldCatLady · 20/09/2013 08:49

Ds used to do this, I honestly do think he picked it up from out cats. as long as he was gentle we left him to it. He was just being affectionate. We were always beside him and never let him hurt anyone. Now he likes to give other kids hugs and kisses, especially if they're crying.

lottiegarbanzo · 20/09/2013 08:51

Fingers in your mouth is a normal stage and sign of affection. Doesn't go down so well with other people!

Dd has always tried to interact with other babies and toddlers, with mixed success. She used to touch faces, which didn't go well and I'm always hovering to remove her if they dislike it or she 'hits' instead of stroking. They learn and get gentler through practice.

SoupDragon · 20/09/2013 08:55

Think about how you would have felt had a bigger baby/child come up to yours and did the same thing. Some people would be horrified at a bigger child coming up to their little baby - I know I would have been appalled had a child done things to DS1 that DS1 did to DS2 :)

There's nothing wrong with it but just be aware others may see a large baby looming over their littler one. Depends on the age of the babies he's doing it to really :)

Thepowerof3 · 20/09/2013 09:06

Some people could do with the help getting a grip

stella69x · 20/09/2013 09:08

I would hope he grows out of it thou coz I have 1 word for you - nits!

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