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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think MIL should let DC bring toys home?

43 replies

Licketysplit123 · 16/09/2013 17:16

Not a major issue, just something me and OH are differing in opinion on.

DD loves Little People and Peppa Pig. She hasn't got a lot of it as its a relatively new thing and we are waiting for her birthday.

Meanwhile, MIL has gone and bought loads of Little people sets and a George toy which DD doesn't have at home. She goes once a week and loves playing with these toys there. She tries to put them in her bag to bring home but MIL takes them off her and won't let her.

I understand she needs things to play with there but she has a mountain of stuff. Plus I always put a selection of toys in a bag for her which never gets touched.

It's not a massive issue but I just think its a bit mean. Plus I'm going to have to duplicate some of this stuff as birthday presents. Seems daft.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thesebootsweremadeforwalking · 16/09/2013 17:22

YABU I think. If you're regular visitors it's nice to have a toy box at the ILs with things you don't have at home, it helps to make a visit special.

PILs do this, their meccano is part of the reason DS is usually very happy to go there!

peachmint · 16/09/2013 17:23

YABU. It's really nice to have special things she only plays with at her grandparents.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 16/09/2013 17:26

If you duplicate it, she will tire of it. Kids like stuff that they don't have constant access to. Honestly, I really wouldn't bother duplicating it. It'll get played with for a bit and then the novelty will wear off. Keep this box of toys as stuff she gets to play with at grandma's house and it'll stay fun. I think your daughter shouldn't be trying to pinch toys Grin she should be able to accept that these toys live at grandma's house.

WorraLiberty · 16/09/2013 17:26

Plus I always put a selection of toys in a bag for her which never gets touched.

And that ^^ is what your MIL is trying to avoid with these toys.

If your DD took them home, she'd get used to them quickly and they would eventually end up untouched.

kali110 · 16/09/2013 17:27

Yabvu. Shes bought them for her dc to have something to play with at her house, not for you to take home. Shes not being mean, your dc isn't entitled to take them home just because she wants them.
So what if there are duplicate sets, one for dc to play at home, one for grandmas. Seems reasonable to me.

hippo123 · 16/09/2013 17:27

Yabu. My dc's favourite toys are at the grandparents house, which they brought them. There their favourite as they don't get to play with them very often.

KoalaFace · 16/09/2013 17:29

Sounds like she wants her home to be special and exciting for when your DD visits. Try to see it that way rather than mean since she obviously bought them for your DD so she doesn't seem nasty.

It must be a bit hard to see your DD disappointed though. Don't let it become a big thing!

Original poster
Licketysplit123 · 16/09/2013 17:30

Haha ok ok!! I consider myself told!

I did tell her I wanted to buy her little people stuff for her birthday though so she could have got something different. IMO.

And I'm going to have to buy her a George. She can't not have a George!!

But yeah I suppose you're right!

OP posts:
abigboydidit · 16/09/2013 17:31

YABU. I think it's lovely they have bought special toys for her. It's not as if they bought them as a birthday gift and then insisted they keep them at their house.

topicsactiveimon · 16/09/2013 17:32

YABU. I have to stop my mum from letting the DC take toys home from her house! Those toys are Grandma's special toys and they make going to Grandma's house even more fun than it is already.

Yonionekanobe · 16/09/2013 17:33

My MIL does the same. DD spends a day a week with them and this seems to work well. Even though DD will often want to bring something home, we say no and she soon forgets.

Lweji · 16/09/2013 17:36

And why would you send any toys if there are loads there???

I'm surprised your MIL is not posting on MN about it. Wink

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 16/09/2013 17:41

What's a george?

AnneUulmelmahay · 16/09/2013 17:46

Presuming from peppa fucking pig, Hec

Original poster
Licketysplit123 · 16/09/2013 17:46

Shock lweji

My side of the family do it totally differently. My
DM and DGM often buy her little presents and always send it home. When I take her there they always tell me to take plenty of toys. They also have a little toy box at their houses but its not as bountiful as MIL's

OP posts:
AnneUulmelmahay · 16/09/2013 17:47

Heyyyyyyyy Hec! You're back!

Hi five.

AnneUulmelmahay · 16/09/2013 17:50

Op let grandma have it her way

Kinda doing a bit of parenting grunt-work for you, teaching that stuff cannot always be taken, great for starting nursery/preschool. Cool.

Original poster
Licketysplit123 · 16/09/2013 17:53

She will have it her way anne, she always does! I would never say anything, it's a very unsteady boat to rock.

You know, I was sure I was right on this one!

Thanks
OP posts:
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 16/09/2013 17:54

I snuck back a few days ago.

Ahh, peppa pig.

exoticfruits · 16/09/2013 17:55

I haven't got grandchildren yet but I have kept the best of my DCs toys- I see them as something to play with when they see me. My aunt had a lovely drawer of old toys- it was the appeal of visiting. It was lovely that my children then played with the same toys. It is easy for DCs to know they can't take other people's belongings home.

Original poster
Licketysplit123 · 16/09/2013 18:07

It's not about her not taking toys home though. There is plenty there that stays there and she loves those too. I'm happy that she is not so spoilt she can't leave things at grandmas. for me, it's more specifically the things I wanted to get her for her birthday. I wanted to get them because I knew she would love them

OP posts:
Longdistance · 16/09/2013 18:17

My dm has loads of toys for our dd's to play with, that stay at hers. Nothing nice as Little people. However, we have accumulated millions of Little people sets, we have the house, a tree house, plane, car, Ferris wheel, farm, and loads of Little Peolpe along the way, so gonna donate some to my mums house when we get back from Oz, as we won't have the room for everything back in the Uk.

kali110 · 16/09/2013 18:18

And maybe thats what the gm wants to op?you could always buy her diff things from the range

80sMum · 16/09/2013 18:20

Please don't buy your child a George if she already has one at grandma's house and enjoys playing with it there! That would be VU of you - and rather unkind, imo.

Hissy · 16/09/2013 18:22

Get crates, put a mixed selection of toys in them, and have at least one in store, one out to play with and one at GM's.

Then there'll always be special/fresh toys both at home and at GM's.