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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel like my body is letting me down.............

72 replies

BeanandGone · 07/09/2013 06:35

I've nc for this as i don't want to be identified by anyone i might know.....

40 + 10 days pregnant today, I have had Braxton Hicks for about 4 weeks, lost mucus plug on Thursday following a sweep and lots and lots of twinges and on off feelings as if i'm starting labour.

Then nothing. Having spent about 20 years being a victim of my bastard hormones appear to be in some kind of hormonal fucking wasteland and can't seem to muster what i need to give birth.

DH suggested yesterday that because i have spent so much time on MN I have possibly slightly fried our baby with laptop rays.....

I had a tiny bit of watery discharge in underwear last night, I'm shitting myself about getting induced, I'm convinced it won't work and i'll need a c-section.

I've been couped up in this house for weeks

We had a lovely home birth planned. I really don't want to go to hospital and as lovely as the midwives are, don't want to have smiling ladies saying 'bless you' or have to deal with bounty women or give birth lying down with a fucking drip in my arm.

Bastards....................

OP posts:
phantomhairpuller · 07/09/2013 06:39

My body failed me twice and I ended up with EMCS both times Hmm

I really struggled with it it after the birth of DS1 and felt let down.
When the same thing happened with DS2 I found it quite funny actually.

Your hormones are raging- it will all seem completely different once you're cuddling a beautiful squishy newborn- however they arrive Wink

Good luck

CreatureRetorts · 07/09/2013 06:45

Your body is not failing! Don't think of it like that. And your DH, I assume he's joking.

Have you spoken to your MW? Can you go for a walk? I know this is incredibly patronising but you need to try and relax to help and walking can help shift baby into the right position. Also do you have an exercise ball you can sit and bounce on while leaning forward slightly? I feel your pain - I went 8 days overdue and actually concluded that ds would never arrive and I'd be pregnant forever (!). Then one evening I relaxed by going for a walk, looked at old photos and then finally labour kicked off.

Labor isn't always like the movies - your contractions may well be doing a lot, just not very painful.

TiredDog · 07/09/2013 06:47

Bastard hormones are bastardly responsible for making us feel so shit aren't they. The least they could do is do the thing they are supposed to whilst making us feel so shit.

Is this your first?

Hold onto the thought that in a year its not important how they arrived. You're just glad they did. There is so much importance and expectation placed on the birth and I honestly cannot think of a process which is so vulnerable to changes in plan

I had a home birth convert into an elective CS. It was great. It really was. I had a previous home birth and yes it was 'different' but I had special time with baby, was looked after respectfully and she was born safely

I hope something happens for you soon

Snapespeare · 07/09/2013 06:49

I went for 40 + 10 with my 1st 2 DCs (& the first labour was 36 hoursHmm) the threat of an induction on a tuesday was enough to start things off naturally & DD was born on a sunday afternoon. it is incredibly frustrating, especially when it's been very warm weather...but you're nearly there! try to think in terms of your body doing it's job, according to plan and in it's own time. do whatever you feel you can to try to move things along ( I walked. a lot. I looked like a purposeful ship in full-sail!)
fingers x'd for you for today! come on baby!

Imflabulous · 07/09/2013 06:49

I had to be induced twice, first time st 40+13 and second time at 40+10, my body just dosent go into labour with out help! Never had a section and both quick labours ( 4.5 and 3 respectivly) so just for perspective not all induction ends in long labour or a section, also I did not need a drip as had pessary first time and was free to love around.

Good luck with your labour and soon you will have your new baby to snuggle.

FeijoaVodkaLovesHokeyPokey · 07/09/2013 06:51

DD hung on til 40+13 before finally putting in an apperance just a few hours before I was due to be induced. There is hope for you yet.

Imflabulous · 07/09/2013 06:52

Ok to clarify I was free to move around not love around!

TiredDog · 07/09/2013 06:56

Flabulous. That would have been worth trying though?

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 07/09/2013 06:56

You don't automatically need to be induced - you can have expectant management for a period if time where they will monitor the baby. So, I would have a chat with your midwife re that as it takes a bit if the heat off. You might decide to be induced but at least you're an active participant in the decision

Re kick starting things. It is the luck if the draw but I do think the more you walk around etc the more likely it is not only to help establish labour but get it kick started. Even a walk round the shops and up and down the stairs

You do t have to have any midwife there that you don't gel with. I wouldn't like having someone there saying bless you to me either. My DH asked for one to be replaced who wasn't very nice during my very long labour - think she was midwife 3. It was accommodated with no problems as he was nice and polite but firm so get your birthing partner clued up for doing that.

Also, have you asked about the induction? My u set standing (think with the gel?) is that they will often allow you in the water if all seems to be going well. I know it's not the same as a home birth but being in the midwife led centre might be a bit of a compromise

Finally, I wanted a natural birth but I was absolutely sure that if I had to go on the drip or be induced from the word go, that I wanted adequate pain relief in place when i wanted it. I point blank refused the drip until the anaesthetist had sited the cannula! Again, my DH was very good at being nice and firm re this do there was absolutely no point trying to fob us off. That made me feel a lot calmer that I wasn't going to be induced without the pain relief I wanted

Finally, have you tried Hypnobirthing? Bit Kate to do a course now but there are some good scripts etc on the Internet. I had a very long labour culminating in a firceps delivery. I honestly credit the Hypnobirthing (and DH) for keeping me calm. It really really helped when things started going a bit pear shaped

Good luck!

Original poster
BeanandGone · 07/09/2013 08:09

I'm ball bouncing, walking, cut up a 40ft felled tree with a saw a few days ago.

Weeded the drive on my hands and knees, DTD.

My theory is i'm 37, cannot psychologically cope with the life change i'm just about to have, miss my work, can't relax or slow down mentally and therefore body is just saying no to this. That's what i want to know. I feel tricked by society and life. I think women have loads more control over childbirth than anyone lets on and i'm fucking failing to ride this horse. I have one thing i'm competent at, work.

Really want this baby. DH and i went to ikea yesterday (and i fucking hate ikea, and tried really hard to go into labour in the morning so i could get out of it) and there were loads of babies in the cafe and i could have just stolen one. And my nipples are literally shooting milk out.

For fucks sake i cannot go on any longer. I don't really care how this baby comes out but i should be getting ready to take him out by now..

Right, i'm going to purposefully walk (like a ship in full sail) to the paper shop and buy a guardian and some cat food, then i'm going to come back and clean the house a-fucking -gain............................

OP posts:
Original poster
BeanandGone · 07/09/2013 08:12

....and thanks, mumsnet keeps me sane. If my bastard husband says to me one more time. 'anything happening yet?' i'm going to go mad........

OP posts:
Original poster
BeanandGone · 07/09/2013 08:19

you can have expectant management for a period if time where they will monitor the baby

Yes, i'll ask for that. Thanks

OP posts:
beepoff · 07/09/2013 08:20

Can you watch some really funny tv or film? Invite friends that you have a laugh with over and have a nice glass on wine? Or go and have a massage.

It won't help you go into labour but it will take your mind off it and help you relax. You sound stressed.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter how your baby is born. It really doesn't. But you don't want to spend your last day or two of pregnancy being so irate.

marriedinwhiteisback · 07/09/2013 08:22

No it's not a psychological thing keeping the baby in. DS1 was 36 weeks, DS2 27 (and if psychology worked that baby would have stayed put), DD against all the odds was 40.12. She was induced and once it got going was quick and easy and she was my only one to come out pink, fat and screaming.

Babies come when they are ready to come; it's all about nature and they are all different.

Good luck OP - it sounds as though you're working up to labour. Let us know when the baby's here.

Maggietess · 07/09/2013 08:24

Op I think you're absolutely right, at this stage you just need your baby out! Try not to focus too much on how that may happen compared to the magical plan.

As others have mentioned so rarely do we spend so much time meticulously planning something that has so many uncontrollable variables anyway!

I had my 3 DCs in totally different ways dd1 induction at 40 weeks with high blood pressure, dd2 elective section following complications with dd1's birth, ds emergency section at 36 weeks.

None of these was how I planned it, all of them involved a team of very caring people, all resulted in me now having 3 beautiful children.

It's amazing what our bodies go through in conception, pregnancy & birth. It's not surprising bodies sometimes need a hand, they haven't failed us, they just need some support to get across the finishing line!!!

Good luck with the walk and I hope e you get your beautiful baby soon!

Original poster
BeanandGone · 07/09/2013 08:40

Thanks. I'm getting stabby shooting pains so something is going on. And tightenings. beepoff we kind of battened down the hatches a few days ago. I'm thinking that might of been the wrong thing to do really!

I'm crying a bit. Maybe getting cross helps?

It doesn't matter really does it. It will happen. The sun is shining...................

All the young mums i know seem to have no problem. I'm sure its my age.

OP posts:
maddening · 07/09/2013 08:41

Eat pineapple? Raspberry leaf tea?

Get a back massage while sitting astride a chair and lean forward on the back - or while sitting on the birthing ball (or whatever it's called?) ? Might help to relax

Orangeblossomtree · 07/09/2013 08:42

Your body has not failed you, you have grown a healthy term baby who you will meet very soon. Forget the birth, if if happens at home that's wonderful. If not, then you get a baby anyway! You are very lucky :)

maddening · 07/09/2013 08:45

Ps eeek it sounds good! How exciting!

Def massages then and get a good breakfast if you can and energy drinks!

Can we do a sweepstake for the time - I reckon 3.34pm today!

Don't forget to breath and good luck!

Clobbered · 07/09/2013 08:48

It's not your age!!

Stuff is happening. Keep eating and sleeping so that you have energy for labour.

Baby will be here soon...

CreatureRetorts · 07/09/2013 08:49

i fucking hate ikea, and tried really hard to go into labour in the morning so i could get out of it

This has me PMSL Grin

I reckon baby is on its way.

OhYouBadBadDragon · 07/09/2013 08:49

Your body isn't failing you, it might just be that your baby needs a little more time before its ready.

Did you see this bbc article? About pregnancy naturally varying by 5 weeks?

We are so used to controlling our lives as adults and I reckon it's natures way of telling you that baby is now in control!

Good luck today.

TiredDog · 07/09/2013 08:50

Weepy is transition... Grin

OP the bit where you say the only thing you're competent at is work struck a little chord warning bell with me.

Lots of career women have a shock with motherhood because its outside their normal activity and expectation. Babies are the least controllable things ever. Give up now. Seriously. Go with the flow and try and chill out.

Tiredtrout · 07/09/2013 08:52

I get incredibly rage filled just before labour, especially when booked for a homebirth and there was an appointment for an induction. Good luck

ParvatiTheWitch · 07/09/2013 08:59

Yes, I got a weed on the night before I had DS1. I was really ratty and out he came the next day.

Also, try massaging either side of your achiles tendons by your ankles. That is a nature accupressure point for the uterus. Good luck.