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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To plan another busy day tomorrow for the DCs....doing Sweet F-all?

25 replies

FishfingersAreOK · 20/08/2013 22:49

We have done the occasional park trip, the odd castle, a fortnight camping. And a lot of lovely, lovely staying at home. Lie-ins. Cuddles in bed. Then booting the DCs out into the garden to play.

They seem happy (they are 5 and 7) - they have an orchard to play in, a den built, more den building equipment, a pop-up tent and oodles of toys.

Occasional boredom by them is met by a snack/addition of new props.

Should I be doing something more educational? (I am reading with the 5 year old every night but that is it.) Should I be giving them a bit more input? Playing games? Suggesting crafty stuff? Planning stately homes or petting zoos? Or should I just relish the fact they play together so well and just let them get on with it?

Am I being unreasonable to just be enjoying them enjoying themselves without me?

OP posts:

Coconutty · 20/08/2013 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GW297 · 20/08/2013 22:55

Sounds great! Children love being at home and playing with their toys and in the garden. Enjoy!

HarumScarum · 20/08/2013 22:58

This is the best thing they could possibly be doing. Let them get on with it and enjoy the peace.

Original poster

FishfingersAreOK · 20/08/2013 23:05

So I do not need to worry about contributing to the "Summer Slide" then? I have been really enjoying it - but have suddenly had a panic when I realised the highlight trip "out" for them last week was a trip to Lidl

I think I just cannot believe how unnecessary I am to them this summer - just to provide food, drink and the odd bit of refereeing! Long may this last!

OP posts:

maddening · 20/08/2013 23:06

Why spend all that money buying toys and making a home (and a lovely sounding one too with and orchard and dens ) in order to spend all your free time on trips out - sounds like you've had a fab summer with them - enjoy it as you're making lovely memories.

BeaWheesht · 20/08/2013 23:08

My ds is 6 and I have recently had the revelation that what he likes best is time to play with his toys and be outside, this comes a little late after a trip to disney, several days out and too much mess inducing craft! Enjoy it! I also have an almost 3 year old who is surgically attached to me so go, enjoy the personal space and freedom, ill live vicariously through you!!

LimitedEditionLady · 20/08/2013 23:16

You know i think its good to let kids have some time to relax and use their imagination.If theyre happy you should be. Let kids be kids x

Original poster

FishfingersAreOK · 20/08/2013 23:16

Have just ordered a hammock so at least I can go and join them down there! We had the garden last year too but were living in a manky static caravan on the front garden whilst the house was renovated. So think we are all just relishing the space! And that we can actually use the garden without builders watching every step.

So, cool - education be damned. Laziness rules!

OP posts:

IfNotNowThenWhen · 20/08/2013 23:34

Oh for fucks sake. Some of us have no money for days out and disney/ castles anyway. Some days this summer, when ds friends haven't been around, a trip to the supermarket and hanging about in the (orchardless) garden have been all that's going on. which is fine- not big on over scheduling and what not, but frankly your life sounds pretty idylic, so...whats the question again??

BeaWheesht · 21/08/2013 00:06

So we aren't allowed to mention our lives unless we're skint???

BitchyRestingFace · 21/08/2013 00:08

We have no money for holidays or many days out, so my two have spent most of the hols out the back (it's pretty rubbish, certainly no orchard but they amuse themselves very well. They spent hours yesterday making a home for woodlice and stocking it with creepy-crawlies). I get them out for a walk every day, and it is often to a supermarket to choose something for dinner. So YADNBU, in fact, if anything, your DCs are very lucky.

Downtime is very important, IMO. Children don't need to be scheduled and organised and educated 24/7. I can barely remember the (few) family holidays and trips I had as a child; what I remember are long days playing with my brothers and friends in the fields and woods round our house, and long wet afternoons spent reading.

Original poster

FishfingersAreOK · 21/08/2013 00:13

Did you forget the or the ? Who mentioned Disney? Who mentioned money? We are members of the National Trust so some places are "free" days out. The park....free. Trips to museums, libraries, galleries generally free. We have a biggish garden with our 3 bed semi. It has an orchard in it. An orchard we have made into a perfect place for our DC. So.....what is your problem?

So despite your focus on it, the question was not about spending money. It was whether I should be encouraging/doing more educationally focussed (often free) things. Rather than lazing around.

OP posts:

Original poster

FishfingersAreOK · 21/08/2013 00:14

Sorry that was direct at IfNotNowThenWhen

OP posts:

Maggietess · 21/08/2013 00:16

My first year off with dcs and first few weeks were spent with summer scheme activity.
Then I panicked about having then all at home. First week or two was stressful then we got into an out n about routine and had a ball. As long as we did one park or something to burn energy a day then the park and home seemed easier.

missingmumxox · 21/08/2013 01:23

no you are not, also I learnt off my BF who had 2 children just before me..boredom is very underrated, I get it, i seemed to say it all the time in my memory of childhood, I think my boys say it?? almost never they are constantly entertained but don't get to entertain themselves, I remember doing shows for bored parents at friends housed and making roller skating certificates for rolling down our hill.

you are a good mum :)

HenD19 · 21/08/2013 01:39

It's a difficult one.....I think that with our 'mum guilt' head on we feel like we should be constantly providing educational experiences and I feel like I'm being a good mum then. But children do need to initiate their own entertainment and this is equally beneficial. I love looking on as they play something that they've thought to do on their own and these 'games' always seem to be much more fun than those that I suggest!

WafflyVersatile · 21/08/2013 02:07

They'll come to no good, mark my words.

Playing? Garden? Hammocks? Sgusting.

Chottie · 21/08/2013 05:32

OP - it sounds just perfect. I used to put up my father's old Boy Scout tent in the garden with an old blanket on the ground and DC used to love playing in it. It was their shop, house, boat, school and a hundred other things.

Children learn through play and it is good to stimulate their imaginations and let them be together without adult hovering over them 24/7. It's lovely to have some free time and space to just be.

NadiaWadia · 21/08/2013 05:38

Sounds lovely - you are making me jealous and nostalgic for the time mine were that age!

Seem to remember reading about a recent study where it was found that many children are over-stimulated these days and have too many organised activities. They actually need time to be bored as this forces them to use their imaginations and come up with their own ideas. You are doing nothing wrong!

fairylightsinthespring · 21/08/2013 07:08

sounds great - especially the bit where they don't need you to play WITH them all the time. I think its really important that they have time to be bored and then decide for themselves what to do. My friend's little girl has an activity scheduled for every day and cannot, at the age of 6, play by herself, at all. As for the "slide" well maybe it takes them a bit of time to get back up to full speed (I teach and I am the same tbh) but that ignores the benefits to be gained by the downtime.

Retropear · 21/08/2013 07:30

Kids and circumstances differ- hugely.Horses for courses.A few days like that are great for my dc but not the entire holiday as they need more simulation.

Backtobedlam · 21/08/2013 07:44

Another one wishing we had an orchard. My kids love being outside, running and playing, and need to run off their excess energy. One of the main reasons we go on days out, trips to the park etc. is so our kids have the opportunity to do this. If I had a larger outdoor space we would spend many more days at home, but as it is our garden just isn't big enough. Sounds like a lovely way to spend the holidays.

Svrider · 21/08/2013 07:53

Thing is tho I get stir crazy if I don't leave the house a least one per day
Either park, national trust place etc...
Oh well poor children
not done anything educational tho!

olivo · 21/08/2013 07:54

Sounds brill! I also worry that I am not laying on enough things for my Dcs aged 7 and 4, but they often play well together. The past two days have been spent at home playing with 4 new playmobil figures! Their choice!

Time enough for education when they go back to school .... And I am a teacher!

HelpMePleaseImConfused · 21/08/2013 08:36

Sounds just like my childhood - and i have very happy memories of long summer holidays spent playing in the garden (or the house if it was raining) with my siblings, making games up, dens etc. We still talk about them now. It qas interspersed with the odd free day out to a local park/event etc.

You have provided your children with a lovely home and garden by the sounds of it, and they are very fortunate, so you are doing the right thing giving them time to use it. Im sure like most kids these days, they have tonnes of toys which they never normally have much time to play with. They have the whole school year for education, they are only young once and deserve some down time.

Flip