To buy this mini cattle prod from fleabay..

[Tittypulumpcious]

And then use it on dh who is sleeping very loudly..it's only 4000-5000 volts that'll stop him snoring right?!

Will it stop a rampaging toddler?

Fucking hell, where's the link??

I'd feel better if DH knew what the equivalent is for me is when he's making clicking noises when he's asleep and keeping me up.

It complies with animal welfare regulations and shuts off after 2 seconds. Only downside is the postage, it takes 7-10 working days

Only 2 seconds?

I'm sure I could think of a way of tricking DH into extending that.

I guessed this was a snoring thread!

Can I borrow the cattle prod when you're done with it? I've taken refuge downstairs, but I swear dh is now snoring even louder than before because I couldn't hear him when I first came downstairs.

He's stopped! Now I'm worried he's got sleep apnoea. Snore dammit dh snore!

I think I'll have to go back up to bed and kick him, just to make sure he's still alive.

I'm sure I read a poster on here saying they put their hand over their DH's sleep apnoea machine so he can't breathe for a few seconds

I suppose torture drives you to do weird things

DH does have sleep apnoea. He wears a mask but every now and again it gets dislodged in the middle of the night and makes a loud PRRRPPPPFFFPPPFFF farting noise that wakes me up but he sleeps right through it until I poke him in the ribs

Of course, now he's asleep in the armchair without the mask it sounds like a motorbike revving up. The cat is giving him the evil eye and I'm tempted to drop her on his head. I bet he stops snoring then.