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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to feel slightly uncomfortable about this, when really I think it's probably fine

29 replies

rosesinmarch · 01/08/2013 14:08

DH takes DD (2yo) to shops. While in the shop, nice friendly man chats with DD. Man asks DH if he can pick DD up. DD fine with these things, so DH says yes. Then man asks DH to take a photo of him (man) and DD on his (man?s) camera. DH doesn?t see the harm - while he thinks it?s a bit unusual, thinks it may be a cultural thing he?s had not experience of (man doesn?t speak good English and looks/sounds to DH like he might be from somewhere in the middle East). So DH takes the photo. All fine, friendly man gives DD back to DH, DH gives camera back, and they say goodbye.

I don?t really know why I?m posting because clearly there?s no real problem. But somehow this just confuses me a bit.

Thank you for reading!

OP posts:
YouStayClassySanDiego · 01/08/2013 14:13

Well I wouldn't have let that happen myself.

Would you have if it had been you in the shop?

Original poster
rosesinmarch · 01/08/2013 14:13

I should add, DH is very protective, and due to the layout of the shop, etc., there was absolutely no way the man could have headed off with DD.

OP posts:
meganorks · 01/08/2013 14:13

Is your DD blonde? When travelling found a lot of other people fairly obsessed with blondes (I guess as not native to their own country). Also redheads sometimes.

Original poster
rosesinmarch · 01/08/2013 14:14

No, I don't think I would have done it, but then I tend to be overcautious about these things.

OP posts:
Original poster
rosesinmarch · 01/08/2013 14:14

Yes, she's blond, megan

OP posts:
mamalovebird · 01/08/2013 14:21

I had this when I was 19 and my father took me to visit my place of birth in Malaysia. I am blonde and virtually everyone in the street smiled/said hello/asked to shake my hand, some children even asked to hug me. I was told afterwards its a good luck thing.

hefner · 01/08/2013 14:29

I'm probably being ridiculously overcautious, but I would be concerned that the man could possibly use the picture to gain the trust of other parents by pretending that he has a daughter of his own. Probably very unlikely, but it would have crossed my mind. Much more likely that he was just fascinated to see a blonde child and wanted to show his family.

Edendance · 01/08/2013 14:35

This sort of thing is very common in Egypt. There's no harm in it- be pleased he asked, at least your husband could have said no. I see why you were a bit 'put out' its not really the done thing in this country but there will be no harm in it :-)

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 01/08/2013 14:36

I wouldn't have been happy with the photo part and I wouldn't have let it happen. In all probability it was innocent but you don't have to go along with things you're not comfortable with to please other people

Montybojangles · 01/08/2013 14:38

I think its possibly a cultural thing too. Go to India, you will get no end of photo requests if you have blonde hair.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/08/2013 14:38

The Japanese tourists have always wanted to take pictures/have pictures taken with very blonde DD. No one ever gets to pick her up, though.

cushtie335 · 01/08/2013 14:39

My DD had white blonde hair until she was about 9 and we were forever being approached by Chinese people asking to touch her hair for luck.

Mama1980 · 01/08/2013 14:42

My ds1 has blond hair and blue eyes piercing blue, going around London quite often Japanese and middle eastern tourists will ask to have their photo taken with him, many often say they haven't seen a child before with his colouring. I always let them but they don't get to hold him.
I think it's ok and as you say a culture thing.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 01/08/2013 14:46

I had this last year at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, DC. An Iranian woman wanted her picture taken with DD. We thought it was funny at the time that baby DD had upstaged Lincoln - only later did we think, well, that was a bit odd really. In reality, there wasn't a risk and the woman was very friendly - though it did make me think about good responses in case anyone who seemed untoward (though how can you really tell?!) were to ask. The other thing was, it happened so quickly that it was over almost before we'd had time to think. I guess that's what happened in your DH's case?

jojane · 01/08/2013 14:54

When travelling in Thailand and on a long train journey we spent several hours playing with a little Thai boy of about 3, he was fascinated with our digital camera. We asked parents of we could take photos, nothing untoward about it, just part of our holiday.
Dd age about 13 months was running round after pigeons in trafalgar square and an older lady asked to take her picture. Didn't have. Problem with it.

KellyElly · 01/08/2013 16:28

During the Olympics I was playing in a water fountain with DD and some Brazilian students (male) wanted to have pics taken with her and their flags. I gave them my email and they sent me the pics when they got home. All very innocent and it is probably a cultural thing sometimes as I wouldn't imagine a loads of English students having their pics taken with a random child. She has also got very blonde hair.

wishingchair · 01/08/2013 16:31

Ah it is a cultural/curiosity thing. Me and DH had our photos taken a few times when we were in Malaysia, and me and DD were in Singapore when she was 2 and a whole family from Indonesia wanted their photo with her. We're all blonde. Makes me chuckle to think we're in someone else's holiday photos!!

FreudiansSlipper · 01/08/2013 16:34

ds has had his photo taken many times by strangers he has a very unusual hair colour its golden redish especially by Japanese tourists and when we went to italy and turkey he got so much fuss made over him (though i know they tend to fuss more over children anyway) his hair colour attracts attention and always positive

bluebell8782 · 01/08/2013 17:10

It is a little odd but I do think it might be cultural. My sister went to Japan with my nephews - one in particular has ash blonde air. They drew quite a crowd one time on a train - they thought my sister had dyed his hair. He's only 2!

KingJoffrey · 01/08/2013 18:34

When I was 2 years old I had bright platinum blonde hair. We went on a family holiday to the Carribean and on the first day we went to the beach three Middle Aged local women rushed up to us and picked me up/cuddled/stroked me/etc. My mum was outraged until it was revealed that they'd never seen a blonde child before! (This was before everything went touristy).

If I were you, I'd just assume it was a cultural thing for your own peace of mind.

maja00 · 01/08/2013 18:37

I wouldn't mind.

I quite often see "gap year" types with photos of them posing with local children in India or Africa. Same thing isn't it?

AnnaKissed · 01/08/2013 20:49

I live in the Middle East and I don't think there's anything sinister. It's more common there, even shop assistants whip their phones out to photograph my son. Even more common with blonde girls. Don't worry!

Pixel · 01/08/2013 22:34

When dd was tiny and white blond we took her to Tunisia and everyone wanted to make a fuss of her for good luck. We thought it was a bit strange at first but after all she was our PFB so of course it was only natural that people would be stunned by her beauty Wink. She was even given a little charm by a shop owner which he said was for luck.

ChippingInHopHopHop · 01/08/2013 22:41

As most others have said, it's really nothing to worry about.

Sparklysilversequins · 01/08/2013 22:49

In Dubai on the metro once an Arab family asked for a photo with dd - pale golden brown hair and light green eyes, age 4. She was extremely uncooperative so it didn't happen, I didn't feel particularly uncomfortable though my Mum was horrified when I told her.

Maybe it's a cultural thing?