OMG why does it have to be like this

[kappadelta]

Morning all have name changed (just in case). So we live on a new estate with the builders still here. There are no solid boundaries between homes and our lawn adjoins next doors. Our border is also to one side of their lawn.
They are very keen gardeners and it looks lovely. Unfortunately one of the neighbourhood kids road (sp) a bike across the lawn.
When the neighbour got in she shouted at me and said its not on as she wrongly assumed it was my children.
I didn't know at this time that it wasn't so I said I would put a boundary in so the kids where clear on where it was.
The thing is they have planted up in our border. I've put the boundary where it should be and they must have stealthed in the middle of the night and moved it. It's only those small fences that you stick in the ground.
I'm fuming OH is at work and I can't believe the cheek.
What would you do? Would have loved to be able to get on with our neighbours it's so sad. Thanks for your advice in advance x

i'd remove it from its new position.....then see what happens

So basically they've stolen your border for their own garden? Move it back!

Very cheeky! Do you have plans showing the borders? If so, go and knock on their door and politely point out they are wrong.

Will you put a permanent fence up at some point? If so, have a conversation with them where you look at the deeds together so you can both be certain and happy that the boundary is going up in absolutely the right place. Don't play games or do anything to cause years of problems.

No!! Please don't go playing tit for tat....you really don't want a nasty fallout with neighbours unless you can help it. Just go and speak to them, nicely, and show them the errors of their ways!

Go round and speak to them, with your house plans clearly showing your boundary. I had to do this with our new neighbours when they started insisting that our wall was half theirs (it wasn't). I would also make sure they know it wasn't your children who rode across the wall.
There is no point moving stuff about if they think they are right.

i'd go round, and say along the lines of, "i didnt moan when you accused my children of riding a bike over your garden even although i now know it was xxxxxx, i didnt moan when you planted plants over the boundary between us, i absorbed the cost to make the boundary YOU wanted, but a boundary marks the property line, not just to fence off the bit you feel like using, so i would appreciate if you would leave it in its rightful place, thank you"

I mean rode across the lawn!

Ohhhhh this is where my Englishness comes out! I can be very very territorial! That boundary would not only go back, it would become the highest and most solid fence

I would discuss putting up a proper fence - in the nicest possible way.

Are the builders responsible for putting up a fence ? it seesm the norm these days for it to be part of the developement. I would get one up pronto.

Unfortunately as per the builders contract we are unable to put up anything higher than a foot until they have sold the last house on the estate. Neighbours are alcoholics and will already be drinking now so I would prefer not to go round :-(

Kap, wait until your OH comes home and then go round. They are clearly bonkers, but rise above it and keep in the right. Sneaking around in the dark moving fences (as they do) is not the way to go about doing it!

I was going to go to the builders to be honest and ask them to put up a solid boundary. I did seek them out inititally and they advised the small fencing.

Put the fence back electrified

Been to sales office. The site manager not on site today but will be back Monday. They said its not really their responsibility. I did question this as surely when building a house it is your responsibility to make the boundary clear?

Do you have a clear plan drawing of the property with its boundaries? That's all you need to be able to put up something permanent of your own, confident that you are in the right.

i agree, don't do tit for tat. It can cause hell if you don't get on with neighbours. I'd go and speak to them about it when it's a better time.

So the builders don't think it's their responsibility to build a boundary line? When my new build estate was built 5 years ago they put all the fences up around properties.

Go to the solicitor who did your conveyancing and ask him to write to them setting out the legal boundary and including a paragraph about what your plans are for a proper fence when you can erect them. I wouldn( get involved with them at all over this. Just get the facts set down by a professional.

Thechildren - I don't have money for a solicitor :-(

TVTonight's suggestion:

Go and speak to her. Deal with each point calmly- no passive aggressive nonsense.
A) Your children didn't damage her garden
B) as agreed, you've put in a fence. They obviously think it is in the wrong place but have made a mistake because [evidence why you are right].
C) check everyone is happy, going to be neighbours and would hate to fall out when there is no need!

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Do this.

Go round today and explain that you dont agree about the boundary so you are going to speak with the site office people on Monday to clear it up.

Be calm, be pleasant. Dont be apologetic.

Thanks for all your advice. I've spoken to DH and as they are heavy drinkers we have decided to go down the avenue of asking the builders to define the boundary. Do you think that this is sensible?

Well the builders should know where the boundary is so your neighbours hopefully won't argue with them. Just make sure they know it's the builders marking it, not you. I agree that you also need to make it clear that it wasn't your children that rode across their garden.

Good luck.