Fucking hell, fucking Bounty...

[HoneyDragon]

They've just sent me an email with a link advising me on how to deal with my arsing 3.8 yo swearing.

AIBU to think Mumsnet wouldn't put shit like this in my inbox?

Oh I thought you were Kate come to join us until I saw your name. No doubt Kates Bounty woman has already been shot.

Fucking cheek though, and no, MN would absolutely not do that

Yup. An email with lots of shiny ads and parenting info.

My Toddler This Month - Your 3 year old, eighth month

^Being firm but fair with your child.
This month, we go back to look at discipline again. As your child gets older, you'll need to take a different approach - so it's probably a good idea to remind yourself of our hints and tips. Plus, a quick reminder of our advice on dealing with swearing.^

What an earth do they think the average 3.8 yo gets up too?

CeeBeebies must have changed an awful lot since my children were three.

I am bewildered. I don't think they personalised it just toward my parenting, so they are making some pretty big assumptions.

Bastards.

They should stick to making nice coconutty chocolate that comes in two chunks in a cardboard canoe and stop fiddle-faddling with our children.

If they had sent me a similar email when my two were tinies (there was no web for us plebs then) - it would have gone along the lines of:

Dear Mrs T. Turnip

We recommend that you get off your fat arse and put that Weetabix dish in to soak.

Weetabix left for more than one hour has the density and intractability of reinforced concrete.

And your child's trousers do not go with her top. What is the matter with you people?

Regards from the Bounty Team.

P.S. Buy Our Stuff

Oh I had a plain Bounty last night. Was lush and kinda retro at the same time...

How do you cancel an account with them almost 8 years with them and I still haven't work it out.

Yes Wilson - it's a taste of paradise.

I remember the Bounty packs that were dished out in the late 80s. Once you'd had your booking in appointment with the midwife/GP, you received a voucher and you had to go and pick the fecker up from Boots

It was a plastic pouch full of mostly crap vouchers and a ghastly patronising booklet full of shite illustrations like this.

That was the end of my dealings with Bounty - with no internet or mobile phones they couldn't really pester you. I am shocked to hear that they have become this large concern that haunts hospital corridors eating new mothers.

Who are Bounty?

I saw something about hospital wards but I've no idea who or what they are.

at the B.F diagrams featuring a nipple-less woman and featureless baby. Cheers Bounty. Very helpful

What worries me is my Ds is 10. That I'd the last time I had a Bounty pack. 5 years ago my email changed.

How did the bounty website know my new email address and that I was oh with my daughter. How?

Oh is meant to be pg.

Also they now know her dob. It's sinister.

I had to go and pick my bounty pack up from boots as well in the mid 90s.

I can't remember them in hospital at all though thank god.

I still think they've got a fucking nerve inferring my child might fucking swear

You wait, Honey - subsequent emails will contain advice on:

• Your toddler's first ASBO: Throw a party - yes or no?

• A parent's guide to Twoccing for the under 5s

• Moving your child on to Harder Substances (not solids)

.

They have your measure, obviously. No smoke without fire and all that.

But, I only talk about parenting here. Which means one of you lot do bed me in

I have never bedded you in, Honey - what an outrageous suggestion.

Coo!

Watch it Pidge - she'll probably dye you purple or summink.

Cooooo. :)

I miss the cardboard Bounty canoe. They're just slung in a plastic wrapper these days.

No class.

Surely it's brown spray paint for pigeons?