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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teacher gift etiquette

64 replies

Onroute66 · 17/07/2013 20:19

An individual gift for a teacher and TA. What's reasonable, what's not?

I won't say what I've bought just yet as I want to know if it's crap or ott.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 17/07/2013 20:21

We've bought our teacher an ornamental metal rooster ,I know she keeps chickens and if I were getting a gift I would like it .

TarkaTheOtter · 17/07/2013 20:22

As an absolute upper limit I'd say £5. Better something made by your dcs or a heartfelt letter appreciating what they have done for your dc this year.

HappyMummyOfOne · 17/07/2013 20:23

Depends on your budget. As for whats reasonable, id say something that shows you have put a little efort in rather than generic box of roses.

Original poster
Onroute66 · 17/07/2013 20:23

So thank you notes not out of the question?

OP posts:
ArtemisatBrauron · 17/07/2013 20:23

That is quite vague... Wine always acceptable, chocolate/cake/other treats good but you risk that the teacher has allergies/on a diet (I am allergic to milk and have to give away about 20 boxes of chocolate a year!)
I recently got some lovely luxury handwash/handcream which I love using every time I wash my hands.

Sometimes the best thing is a card with thoughtful message.

The absolute best thing I have ever received was a beautiful picture drawn by pupil who was gifted at art, I had it framed and people always ask about it thinking it is by some posh artist! Grin

HappyMummyOfOne · 17/07/2013 20:25

Effort even, will teach me to read before posting.

I have spent a decent amount on the teacher and after school staff and the rest have thoughtful smaller gifts. Card and nice bag alone can be £3 easily.

Sparkletastic · 17/07/2013 20:26

I got a case of half price Freixenet which I salted away so all teachers / TAs are getting a bottle and a thank you card from the DDs. Never known a teacher to be disappointed with wine Grin

CeliaFate · 17/07/2013 20:27

Anything home made, wine, chocolates, flowers, bath stuff, hand cream. I'd never buy ornaments or things for the home.

Shootingstar79 · 17/07/2013 20:28

Honestly, I know I can't speak for all teachers; I can for the ones I know!

We hate to think that parents are worrying about gifts-too big, small, not right...I don't know when the trend started but I would rather do away with it completely, particularly when I see a child in the class who hasn't bought me a gift looking worried when they come in the class on the last day of term (obviously I reassure them).
we don't expect anything, we don't need anything, we don't judge anyone on the present we receive!
I know it is a cliche but an appreciative note in a card or on the report reply slip means the most. I keep them all.

jollygoose · 17/07/2013 20:28

I agree its the effort that counts, a handwritten note of thanks, particularly if it mentions something in class the child has enjoyed or improved at. Keep it small - most of us are embarrased at large gifts.

Shootingstar79 · 17/07/2013 20:30

Sorry, that goes for the class TA as well. They often get forgotten when writing a note of thanks yet they do so much to support the children in their care.

nothingbyhalves · 17/07/2013 20:31

We did a collection for dt's teacher and Lsa's . But I individually got them each a bath bomb from lush. Was going to get dt's to make them something but been so busy in my school ( a comp so no pressi's for us ) that time just ram out!

Original poster
Onroute66 · 17/07/2013 20:34

I agree shooting star, and I'm sure that ds teachers wouldn't think anything either way. It's just one of those things though, like birthday party present etiquette.

At the same time if the teachers been good, your childs been happy, you do want to say thank you as you really do appreciate it.

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 17/07/2013 20:35

TA's have got body cream (half price in Body Shop) and Lip balm (ditto)

Teachers have a 'No1 Teacher' Mug (£1 in Asda) filled with Heroes

I am a cheap skate

The CM gets a bottle of fizz and chocolates and I normally buy the head a bottle of red ...not this year because he has really boiled my tits

Sparkletastic · 17/07/2013 20:35

I also make sure I write an email to headteacher sending my particular thanks for any member of staff that has really made a difference to my DDs.

youmeatsix · 17/07/2013 20:36

i read this earlier, people giving teachers presents Harrods's hampers, Tiffany necklaces and spa days Confused
Confused

giddywithglee · 17/07/2013 20:38

DH is a teacher and he says he doesn't expect pressies but appreciates the thought if someone is kind enough to make or buy him something.

As a teacher's wife wine is my favourite!

Dylanlovesbaez · 17/07/2013 20:39

Honestly, a thank you really does the trick or a nice comment on report feedback.

pudcat · 17/07/2013 20:49

Have read that link - parents giving those presents are doing it "as a status symbol to boast about in the playground or a marker that they expect special treatment for their child".
Teachers do not expect presents, a thank you is enough.

trinity0097 · 17/07/2013 20:52

If you thinking of giving wine please do check that the recipient drinks! I am amassing a collection of bubbly in my office at school, when I have enough bottles I shall throw a big party with it all! Bubbly I can't even take home and give to hubby to drink as he's a beer/red wine kind of guy! Wonder how many bottles of fizz I need to start a party, have 6 so far from last term and this one!

Blueandwhitelover · 17/07/2013 20:52

I'm a TA and we don't expect to get anything, it is nice when people do give you a little gift-we all like to be appreciated.
However, two of my girls wrote me a lovely poem in their free computer time a few days ago and that will be going in my memory box for sure! I'm probably sad but I am so hoping for a best ta travel mug!
I shall shed a tear when this class move up as they and their parents are the nicest class I have ever had.

Justforlaughs · 17/07/2013 20:53

I am a cheap skate and asked my parents to bring back a small soap stone gift, from Kenya, for each of the preschool teachers. A small heart that can be used as a paperweight/ ornament but didn't cost much. 8 presents was a bit much but as DD preferred some of the "other" teachers to her own keyworker I felt i had to get something for everyone.

swannylovesu · 17/07/2013 21:35

i've bought DS1 class teacher a little silver dragonfly bracelet from ebay (around £10). wouldnt normally, but hes leaving year 6 and she was the one who dragged him through his SATs when it was assumed he would do poorly in them. DS2 teacher is getting an ornamental shabby chic type teacher rag doll which was in the sale at a local garden centre for £5. Each of them will write a little thank you note too...does this sound ok???

Nanny0gg · 17/07/2013 21:42

Seriously, swannylovesu, anything bought or made with thought is appreciated. Your gifts sound lovely.