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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about toilet cleanliness?

32 replies

PorkPieandPickle · 30/06/2013 12:20

Whenever my DSS (15) stays with us, every time I follow him to the toilet, there is pee all over the seat. Unless my DH is deliberately only peeing on the seat when DSS is here, I can be 100% sure it is DSS. he is a lovely boy in all other ways, and we get along great, but I have to admit it is starting to wind me up.

I have asked DH to mention it to him a few times. I have also said myself on 2 previous occasions when they are both in the room that 'someone' is peeing on the seat and could they lift the seat or clean up after themselves.

This morning I went to the bathroom and desperate for the loo (5 months pregnant- urgently wee a lot!) sat down without looking. Cue wet arse and getting up see yellow liquid in seat. Feel disgusted that I have someone else's pee on me.

When I have cleaned up, I march downstairs where DH and DSS are watching tv, and snap 'I'm not being funny, but whichever one of you keeps pissing on the toilet seat it needs to stop, because it's disgusting, and I'm sick of it'. I went into the kitchen to make a drink. H follows me into the kitchen and says that IBU, and I didn't have to address it in such a manner. I said 'you're both old enough to clean up after yourselves, and maybe you'd be pissed off if you'd sat in someone else's piss on your own loo' he told me I was being ridiculous and slammed the door, and is now not speaking to me.

aibu? I just think its ridiculous to not be allowed to speak out about this orrible habit, it's not like DSS is a little kid who can't clean or doesn't know how.

OP posts:
JackieTheFart · 30/06/2013 12:24

My DSS (12) is a bit like that! Absolutely disgusting.

I call him up to the bathroom, gave him some rubber gloves and some bleach and told him to clean it. No brush, hands down the loo job.

If he finds that disgusting then maybe he will realise. And your DH is being an utter utter arsehole. Piss on the seat yourself, or maybe on his side of the bed and ask him how it feels?

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 30/06/2013 12:29

yanbu at all

dh sometimes misses completely and i stand in it cause its on the floor... i tell him off and make him clean it up himself. there is really no need for piss everywhere Angry

whichever is doing it... needs to clean it up!

5madthings · 30/06/2013 12:29

Yanbu I have four boys and the have all been taught to lift the seat, and wipe up any drips.

Its just manners they are being thoughtless and showing disregard for you. Its not your job to clean up their piss!

pianodoodle · 30/06/2013 12:32

YANBU

You have mentioned it before more than once.

If they/he want to take their chances winding up a 5 months pregnant woman they should have prepared themselves for the inevitable onslaught of rage :D

burberryqueen · 30/06/2013 12:35

YANBU my son does this and i have a right moan at him and make him clean it up - but that is so much easier than with a stepson........

Original poster
PorkPieandPickle · 30/06/2013 12:35

I instantly feel calmer that I am not crazy!! I thought for a minute maybe people tolerated other peoples pee on their bumcheeks!!

Lol at pianodoodle, for a man who has already done this before, my DH seems a little too intolerant of pregnancy rage!!!

OP posts:
mummytolucas411 · 30/06/2013 12:56

It is disgusting and I really don't understand why he would not at least wipe it up after if he really cannot aim properly? Although your outburst may have embarrassed him, YANBU.

ParadiseChick · 30/06/2013 12:58

You are not crazy it's rank.

teenagetantrums · 30/06/2013 13:01

I hate it as well, my son is quite good now at 19 after years of being made to clean it up, some of his friends not so good, but if i know them well enough i will shout at them to clean it up,and oddly my DD has a friend who always manages to pee over the seat. How does she do that at 16? I long for my own en suite on day.

Original poster
PorkPieandPickle · 30/06/2013 13:24

Update- DH just apologised to me for his reaction, and said that now he's thought about it, he can understand why I got so angry about sitting in pee!

He has promised to have a word with DSS, and gave me a hug and said he loves me an doesn't want to fall out. So DH has risen back from the 'wanker' label I had mentally put on him... But why the change of heart?! Suddenly suspicious that he is a secret MN prowler and saw this thread...

OP posts:
Smartieaddict · 30/06/2013 13:32

I'm glad to see your DH has seen sense. YADNBU! I have this problem with my 5 year old, I make him clean up after himself, and he makes a big fuss, and says it is disgusting, but at 5 it is at least understandable! I sincerely hope that by the time he is 15 he will be able to leave the toilet in a reasonable state after using it. Thankfully DH and DSS seem to be able to manage it!

Roshbegosh · 30/06/2013 13:38

So your DSS is just allowed to do that at his mother's and she happily sits in it or wipes it up after him? Mad. You are teaching him some manners, doing him a favour (and his future DP).

postmanpatscat · 30/06/2013 13:41

DP is 6ft 1 and always sits down to pee as it's too far for it to land in the right place, apparently! Voila - clean loo and seat down, just as I left it!

NewAtThisMalarky · 30/06/2013 13:42

No wonder he pees on the seat, if you follow him to the toilet - poor boy will be looking over his shoulder!

Latara · 30/06/2013 13:46

YANBU. Good that your DP has seen the light!

At work there are 2 separate loos; 1 is nominally for men and the seat is ALWAYS covered in piss.

I look at my male colleagues and wonder who the offender is; eg: ''was it YOU, Mr posh doctor, who peed on the seat?''

The women's loo is often in use but i only use the men's loo if i'm desperate.

WandaDoff · 30/06/2013 13:48

Yuck.

There is nothing worse than sitting down into somebody elses cold piss.

Branleuse · 30/06/2013 13:53

both of my ds' do this. I make them come back and clean it every time but they still usually forget

Original poster
PorkPieandPickle · 30/06/2013 14:07

Lol at 'following him' to the loo newatthis!!! We are most definitely a bathroom door locked household.

No idea how he behaves at his mums, I can't particularly imagine her tolerating it, but I don't know her well enough to say for sure.

I agree about teaching future manners- imagine the poor poor girl that moves in with him and has to train him from scratch!!!

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 30/06/2013 14:17

Yanbu!

alemci · 30/06/2013 14:36

no, it is disgusting. It seems to be that usually adult women clean up in houses (namely mum). everyone else is oblivious. That is my experience.

ZZZenagain · 30/06/2013 14:39

why don't they all sit down to do it? Is it difficult or uncomfortable that way?

Sparrowlegs248 · 30/06/2013 14:41

Yadnbu. Yuck. I don't understand why men don't just sit down if they struggle to aim. Embarressingly though, i seem to pee in a particularly forceful manner, and started noticing drips under the seat where it had shot forwards! I actually have to lean forwards on the loo to stop this happening!

Sparrowlegs248 · 30/06/2013 14:43

Oh and regarding his change of heart - he was probably just being defensive to start with and just reacted. Then thought about and realised that actually its not nice to sit in wee.

Fairypants · 30/06/2013 14:54

YANBU I have gone to the loo at night only to sit/stand in something wet and it is revolting! I don't mind the seat being left up as long as it isn't covered in wee.
I guess your dp's first reaction was to defend his DS then he thought it through and realised something needs to be done.

JazzDalek · 30/06/2013 15:00

Was prepared to say YABU as I'm really laissez-faire about germs and dirt, but...YANBU. Sitting on a pissy toilet seat is horrid.

You've asked them and asked them and this is disgusting. You'd every right to flip out.