Why can't men see that their mums can do wrong?

[SaveWaterDrinkMalibu]

Was out this evening and walked into the pub to find my ex-p's mother sat at a table with 3/4 others slagging me off - not even subtly (basically telling the whole pub)

I text ex-p to let him know as I don't think it's fair on me. His reply was 'oh well mum wouldnt do that so get over it'

Why can't mummy do anything wrong in a man's eyes?

they have to talk about something....especially if they spend all their time in the pub

YABU. You dont speak for all men.

I'm quite sure you mean some men?

What did she say when you asked her why she was slagging you off?

I politely asked her to stop as the whole pub doesn't need to know my life. She then hurled abuse at me, so I felt threatened & left the pub

Based on the men I know it's like all of them

What a ridiculous generalisation.

I expect my DH to see all his mother's faults. I equally expect my DS not to see any of mine. Ever.

You obviously have a thing for mummy's boys. You should try meeting some men who aren't. There are plenty.

Well you should have said that in your title then, "Why cant all the men I know see that their Mums can do no wrong".

I have three DSs and I do no wrong.... ever....

He's your ex partner. EX. What do you want him to say or do?

Is he the father of your children?

No children as such but had 3 miscarriages with his children. Which is what she was discussing & stating that I lied about them& used then to trap him

I think men do eventually see through women like this. DH and I have been together about 30 years and it is only recently he has started noticing his mother's "idiosyncracies" without me pointing them out.

He's your ex. His mother was behaving badly in the pub, not him. Why would he be responsible for sorting out her bad behaviour. You are an adult and you stood up for yourself. As a big girl you can stand up for yourself? It's her you need to be angry with.

Can you see the faults of your own mother/ loved ones? Your statement doesnt apply to all men and their mums.

You should be angry with her and get some distance from ex & family. Can you move area/ pub etc?

I know what you mean about some men not being able to see any flaws in their mum. Then again, I know a woman who feels that way about her dad. Bizarre.

He's your Ex, so he's not very likely to take your side against his mother.

He is your ex- you were not supposed to hear! You probably can't expect a balanced view- and certainly not in the pub!
Move on- why does she need to be fair about an ex if having a private conversation with friends?

Agree with Lazyjaney.

It's quite painful when you realise your patents aren't perfect, I remember realising that my dad was actually a bit of a shit in my late twenties. I think it takes a while to realise it but there's also denial too, as it's easier to dismiss the views of others than admit that someone you put on a pedestal is fallible. Presumably he grew up with her so he won't see her behavior as badly as someone else would as.it's what he's used to.

Sounds like she was going over some particularly sensitive ground too. Hope you're ok?

Sounds like you've had a lucky escape. What a classes, hugely unpleasant woman.

Not all men think the sun shines out of their mother's arse - neither do all women.

It must have been extremely hurtful to hear you being talked (loudly - which is hardly private) about like that over such a sensitive subject. She's clearly got issues which has obviously helped to shape the man you married and subsequently divorced.

Your ex-MIL sounds like an unstoppable asshole. You are better off without either of them. You dodged a bullet. Just think, you could have stayed together and been posting on Relationships about how your MIL makes your life hell and your DP wont stand up to her.

Why do so few men stand up to their mothers in general, though? I think lots of mothers go a bit mad when they have boys. I think spoiling goes on and babying them well beyond reason (possibly because fathers focus so much into rushing to make them "men"). Who knows. The trick is to know how to spot them!

What she said was very hurtful, and I'm sorry you had to endure it.

Poor you OP. What a terrible thing for her to say! It is so bad that I am not surprised your ex found it hard to accept. You are well rid of that family on the basis of the MIL alone. I think it is hard for some people to accept their parents can do wrong. Many parents drill it into their kids that they are always right. It always amuses me to ask people if their mother was good looking when they were young. Men in particular almost always say yes. Quite sweet in a way but in many cases deluded.

I do feel sorry for you, but I think you are over generalising.

My DH has always supported me over his lovely but overpowering mum. You just need to find a good man.