To be really peed off at people who are never punctual!?

[Washbasin]

My friend is meant to be coming for lunch. I have three kids who are holding off from having lunch cos they want to eat with her. She's now an hour late and it's nearly 2pm- I'm starving!!!

Every single time we meet she us always late, she only has herself to get out the house whereas I have three kids and I always make a point of being punctual. It's bloody annoying and rude!

Argh just venting!

YANBU to be peed off, but YABU to have not dished up lunch by now. Your friend is exceptionally rude. Dish up, eat, and when she arrives tell her you got sick of waiting.

An hour late? Bollocks to that! Dish up before it's ruined. Have you heard from her?

Has she called or texted?

If not, I'd text her to say something like: where are you? You were meant to be here at 1.00.

Then in future, either invite her much earlier than you want her (so she'll be somewhat 'on time'), or don't invite anymore.

YANBU I cannot abide lateness, it is so bloody rude.

A friend did this to me once and dds were starving, never again.

Eat and sod her!

YANBU at all to be annoyed. YABU not to have eaten the food though.

YABU not to have eaten anyway. YANBU to be annoyed.

YANBU - I hate lateness and come from a family of people who always, if anything, arrive early.

This even demonstrated itself in my 3DC who all arrived slightly early! My parents were so convinced that DC1 would be born early that they booked a holiday on this basis.

I now have DC2 who is hopeless at getting ready for things and always leaves it till the last minute, which I find very hard to cope with!

yanbu but if she's late every time then you could just accept that and plan for it. what i mean is invite her for lunch at 12 even though you aren't planning to eat until 1. might help avoid some of the frustration you feel.

Haver you ever actually told her that her lateness is annoying / inconvenient / rude? Made any comment about it to her AT ALL?

This is a massive bugbear of mine too. I HATE it. How hard is it to be on time? The odd occasion could easily be 'forgiven' but some people seem to do it every bloody time. So annoying. It isn't always possible to give them an earlier time so they arrive 'on time' as sometimes they know when things start e.g. cinema etc.

What annoys me more is when they make me late for other people if we're doing something in a group and they are picking me up. It isn't hard to be on time 99% of the time.

Feel your pain. I have suggested a workshop for how the space-time continuum works , for people like this.

I would have dished up at 1.15 though

hate this, people who are consistently late with no reason give the rage

whereyouleftit - really, why should anyone need to tell an ADULT that being consistently late with no excuse, apology or reason is rude? I have a friend who does this to me and I have actually told her - she keeps people waiting in cafes for over an hour and then expects them still to be happy sitting there with her for another hour when she does arrive - not really possible with a toddler in tow. Having young kids is no excuse either - just build in extra time. This girl was late for my wedding because of an entirely foreseeable last minute nappy change! She hadn't built in any contingency and hence was late. She has been told by me and others that it is a problem and why but seems unwilling or unable to change.

I see where you are coming from, WhereYouLeftIt - it is generally a good idea to let people know if their behaviour is irritating you. However in this case she should be aware of it herself! Surely you know when you are late and know people have had to wait for you? To me, it gives the impression that the late person thinks they are far, far more important than anyone else and that their time is more valuable than yours.

A friend once let me sit in a park for an hour and forty five minutes.

It was fine as boys were playing in the park but I hadn't taken a book or magazine so was bored silly.

I dumped her after that. I was fuming.

Lateness happens. But not consistently and without apology! Grrrrrr!

It's worth bearing in mind that people are never late for things that they regard as important. If they regularly turned up late for work, they'd be sacked. If they were late driving to the airport, they'd miss their holiday. They can be punctual when they want to be. I'd arrange to meet them at the cinema 15 mins before the show starts. They'll be on time if they want to see the film

They think that "Oh I'm so ditzy, please bear with me" is charming and bohemian. Actually it's just plain rude

.........and arrogant of them to assume their company is so good that you'll put up with it. Don't be a martyr. Just phase these people out of your life, or only invite them along to a night in the pub where it doesn't matter if they're late

Washbasin are you me! You have describrd my life exactly my friend is single no DCs she comes for her Christmas dinner etc and we give her a time an hour earlier its the only way, I love her to death but it drives me mad

extreme arrogance, basically what they are saying is my life is waaay more important that yours! (bugbear) can you tell :)

It really annoys me too.

Yes it's rude and the opposite of charming.

Mind you, one of the people I love most in the world, and a very old friend, is chronically en retard. I say fine, tell her what I'll be doing while waiting for her (in a cafe, reading, eating etc) and get on with it. That way no one minds.

One of my friends is like this. When she and her family come for the day, they plan to arrive at 12/1 and I aim to have lunch ready for 2pm, but they arrive any time up to 4pm. It's a one hour car journey. We keep dinner til they arrive but sometimes it's dried up. It bugs me that my friend doesn't send a text to say they are running late. One time her dc fell asleep after breakfast and for medical reasons she preferred to delay until he woke up naturally rather than wake him, so they were massively delayed, but I can't understand why she didn't send me a text explaining during the 2 hours that he was asleep. Another time she told me she was going alone to an event that morning but intended to arrive at mine at the usual time. I immediately assumed from that they'd be late. They were very late and she was very surprised.

I don't think it always means the person thinks their time is more important than yours, but I can't understand why people with mobiles who text constantly suddenly lose the ability to text when they are hours late.

My husband does this - I've moaned on MN before. he's currently going to be late for dinner which will be ready in 15 minutes. He isn't home yet - he rang an hour ago & agreed half eight would be fine.

YANBU it annoys the hell out of me too, and after 11 years of living in a country where the entire population is always late I still dont like it. Agree that you need to use "strategies"- tell them earlier times/dont rely on them showing up at all/get on with your own thing etc. I do think some people eventually get better when they realise you carry on without them and they miss out on some cool activities.