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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit cheesed off with the attendance leaflet sent through

33 replies

Morrigu · 20/06/2013 21:39

I know everyone gets them and I'm probably taking it personally.

Ds's attendance was 92% - below satisfactory and just above poor according to the leaflet.

I really care about my son's education and even though I know he's only in first year of primary I understand these are the years the basis of his further life in education are set. Every single time he has been off has been because of his chest and asthma. I have backed up every time he has been off with a trip to the doctors and subsequent letter sent in with doctor seen, medications prescribed etc or the times he has been hospitalised the school was notified.

Just makes me feel like crap having a leaflet about why attendance is so important. I do know why it is important. I've been worried about his attendance all year and really don't need a reminder how 'every school day counts'

I'm over thinking things and being thin skinned aren't I?

OP posts:

HollyBerryBush · 20/06/2013 21:40

They are generic letters.

SauvignonBlanche · 20/06/2013 21:43

Bin it,it's not personal.

iago · 20/06/2013 21:47

The school have to send out these letters,.

Startail · 20/06/2013 21:48

DD2 (Y7) got a shitty letter about

WorraLiberty · 20/06/2013 21:48

It isn't personal

If you can put your hand on your heart and say that every absence was necessary, then you can comfortably ignore the letter.

As much as it is horrible to receive them, they're given out for a very good reason.

Both my DCs school's attendance has risen sharply since these letters were introduced a couple of years ago.

Original poster

Morrigu · 20/06/2013 21:48

I kind of guessed everyone got them that but wasn't sure.

I think it's kind of shit that genuine absences aren't taken into account. There's just the little statement about illness, the rest is like you haven't been bothered to take your kid to school.

Told you, being oversensitive. It's my first year at this. By next year I won't care

OP posts:

Startail · 20/06/2013 21:51

No I know they are not personal, but a new year 7 takes them personally and in a year when DD2's nasty virus and DV bugs meant they were running out of teachers too. They just look silly.

Looking silly in the eyes of teens and teens stressed parents is not wise.

Original poster

Morrigu · 20/06/2013 21:53

Thanks Worra I can say hand on heart he has been sick every single time. Why I've taken him to the gp every time he's been off to back up incase it is questioned.

Brilliant Startail I remember that sarcastic tone I used to have. Cuts you dead

OP posts:

Jestrin · 20/06/2013 21:53

I understand what you mean. I also dislike the 100% attendance certificates that get 'awarded' at the end of year. My DC can't help getting ill from time to time...sheesh!

Startail · 20/06/2013 21:54

But they are probably an idea of Mr Gove's, who knows all about imposing impersonal one size fits all ideas on people!

thebody · 20/06/2013 21:56

Don't take it personally. Dd has had them every term since her accident and the accident happened on her last school trip. Ironic aye.

Schools are sensible but have to follow the rules and it can sort out the really ill from the malingerers and the rubbish parents who don't care. Trust me school will know the difference.

Startail · 20/06/2013 21:56

DD2 is something of an actress, I'd love to have recorded her reading out the smug letter and sent it to the HT.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 20/06/2013 21:56

I got one of these today and my year 2 DS had his first sick day of this academic year yesterday.

SauvignonBlanche · 20/06/2013 21:58

dD got a mufti day as a 'reward' for her attendance then needed emergency surgery the week after.

Startail · 20/06/2013 22:01

I'm a 100% certain school have DD2's primary records and know she's not malingering.

They just give a totally institutional, impersonal impression at best and make the school look stupid at worse. Given the school is in SM, offending supportive parents and hard working pupils is the last thing they ought to do.

sarahtigh · 20/06/2013 22:10

ITS THE RULES YOU CAN'T WIN

if you keep him offf when he is sick you are encouraging skiving however if you send him in when sick you are passing bugs around and not following exclusion policy whatever you do it will be wrong that is THE RULES

Original poster

Morrigu · 20/06/2013 22:11

Nope I won't take it personally now (but I'll still be a little peed off ok?)

Well done to the child who can have 100% attendance. I always had days sick from work every year, surely kids are the same if not worse as their immune system isn't as good as an adults?

OP posts:

Holliewantstobehot · 20/06/2013 22:13

I had to go for a meeting with the head about my son's attendance where they asked me how they could help improve his attendance to which I replied cure his asthma! What more can you say? If your son has been up half the night wheezing and is on steroids and antibiotics they are not imo in a fit state to be in school. The whole culture of fighting through illness and going into school/work regardless really annoys me. My son would probably not be ill so often if other children weren't going into school ill and passing the bugs around. I help out and have seen one child in school with such a bad cold her eyes were running and she could barely talk.
I really wouldn't worry about it - my dd turned round to me after she had tonsilitis last half of term and said I won't get a certificate this time mummy, so I made her a certificate for taking her medicine nicely.

thebody · 20/06/2013 22:14

Yes star can see that's a bit ironic but if they are in special measures I guess they have to be even more paperworky!! Not sure that's a word but you know what I mean

thebody · 20/06/2013 22:15

Hollie absolutely agree. Love the certificate idea.

ihearsounds · 20/06/2013 22:17

Everyone gets them. Hate them. Writing notes/talking to the parents who want to know why they are getting these ridiculous letters. Some are nice about it, although annoyed. Some, because of stress are really ratty about it and rightly so. It's about time they were stopped. It's hard enough have a child who is ill in the first place, without these stupid letters.

Then there's the 100% certificates. I am really, really suprised that these are still used. The school my dc's went/go to stopped this practice years ago, because enough parents asked for it to be stopped due to discrimination. The HT, lovely lady, hadn't thought about the impact of this and being inclusive. Some of the pupils couldn't help being under the care of the childrens hospital, nor could it be helped that their professionals only seem to work school hours. There are other things certificates can be given out for that is fair for every pupil.

kim147 · 20/06/2013 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kasterborous · 20/06/2013 22:18

I used to have a yearly appraisal were I used to work you either got A,B,C or D. I always got a D for sickness/absence because I have a skin condition that when it flared up I had to have time off. They knew this when they gave me the job. I also had time off after my miscarriages. I know why they did it but it did cheese me off. But the absence bit was if you just didn't bother turning up which I always felt tarred me with the same brush because I was never absent or late turning up. I know it's different circumstance but I can see why you are cheesed off.

Original poster

Morrigu · 20/06/2013 22:24

Hollie that really resonates with me. I've seen loads of the wee ones going in coughing and thinking 'oh great, here we go again'. What is a simple cold/chesty cough to them can result in steroids, antibs, nebs and hospital to ds. I spent the week before and Christmas day in hospital with ds. Santa visited him in his hospital bed

OP posts:

OldBeanbagz · 20/06/2013 22:25

kim147 my DS is heading that way. He's coming up to 5 years at Primary without a single day off. 3 years to go (he started in Nursery).

As for the letters i'd ignore them. It's wrong to penalise the children who have genuine on-going health problems which the school must surely be aware of.

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