To have politely informed this woman that I will not pay to attend her wedding

[AmadeusRocks]

Received an invitation to a former colleagues wedding about 8 months ago (wedding im november this year) and was a bit shocked that they had listed out the menu inside with the price (£35 per head) underneath. Accepted the invitation thinking they were just being showy bastards and bragging about how expensive the food will be, DH thought the same, however this woman was once a good friend of mine so we accepted. I was a bit about the mark Jacobs perfume on the gift list as well.

I have just received a message on Facebook as follows:

Twatwoman: hi Amadeus, sorry to bother you so soon after the birth of your new baby but was just wondering if you could possibly transfer the £70 for yours and H's meal at the wedding to me soon, the caterers are getting on our backs! Account details: XXXXXXX

Me: hi twatwoman, me and ds are fine thanks for asking, I'm a bit confused, are we paying for our own meals at our wedding?

Twatwoman: haha yes, it's a bit modern isn't it, but I suppose it's only the same as going to a restaurant but with all your friends

Me: hmmm I'm not sure it is the same really, I mean at least when I go to a restaurant I don't have to make an 80 mile round trip, sit through hours of watching you pose like a duck beside a tree, listen to your drip of a husband moan about how wonderful you are and I get to select my own food. I think me and DH will have to decline on this occasion. All the best.

She has not responded.

Aibu?

You didn't write that did you?

How bizarre! YANBU

Did any of that really happen OP?

Did you really say that?

I like your style!

Blimey you're brave!

Not unreasonable, but a bit blunt perhaps. Still, she is proper cheeky asking for this in the first place, so fair enough!

Well if its true, then she is unreasonable for not making it clear, and yabu for being so rude. Although it sounds like bollocks anyway.

You didnt really write that??

Was it not obvious from the invitation she was telling you you would need to pay?

Defiantly odd way of going about things, modern eh!

You really wrote that?

I'd say that was the end of that friendship then

If you actually wrote that it do realise that she has exploded in an absolute bridezilla rage!

Very weird but clearly not someone you like much anyway judging by your final email!! Would be interested to see how many other "guests" declined on this basis, quite a few I should think!

I would have loved to have seen her face if you did send that.

YANBU Nobody should have to pay for their meal if attending a wedding.

You were both being unreasonable

however this woman was once a good friend of mine so we accepted

Well, one things for sure, you won't have to bother finding 60p to post a Christmas card

Please tell me that is what you wrote...

That is a fab email!

And no YANBU, can't believe anybody would expect you to pay for your own meals!

Suuuuure you did

If you actually wrote that response YABVU and V rude.
YANU to politely decline, it's a stupid concept and if it wasn't clearly stated on the invites I bet a lot of guests will pull out last min!

No matter the etiquette of paying at weddings, you were really unbelievably rude

I really hope you didn't write that.

There was absolutely no need for you to be so awful! What a bitch! Thought you said she was a friend?

I hope you didn't write that, but I must say I totally agree with you. If you can't afford a fancy wedding don't bloody have one. Simple.