To have politely informed this woman that I will not pay to attend her wedding

[AmadeusRocks]

Received an invitation to a former colleagues wedding about 8 months ago (wedding im november this year) and was a bit shocked that they had listed out the menu inside with the price (£35 per head) underneath. Accepted the invitation thinking they were just being showy bastards and bragging about how expensive the food will be, DH thought the same, however this woman was once a good friend of mine so we accepted. I was a bit about the mark Jacobs perfume on the gift list as well.

I have just received a message on Facebook as follows:

Twatwoman: hi Amadeus, sorry to bother you so soon after the birth of your new baby but was just wondering if you could possibly transfer the £70 for yours and H's meal at the wedding to me soon, the caterers are getting on our backs! Account details: XXXXXXX

Me: hi twatwoman, me and ds are fine thanks for asking, I'm a bit confused, are we paying for our own meals at our wedding?

Twatwoman: haha yes, it's a bit modern isn't it, but I suppose it's only the same as going to a restaurant but with all your friends

Me: hmmm I'm not sure it is the same really, I mean at least when I go to a restaurant I don't have to make an 80 mile round trip, sit through hours of watching you pose like a duck beside a tree, listen to your drip of a husband moan about how wonderful you are and I get to select my own food. I think me and DH will have to decline on this occasion. All the best.

She has not responded.

Aibu?

paradisechick

was I? when? what? how do you know?

sorry, it's off topic, but what?

yes, twatphone for sure!

(or I just have really strong views?! )

What a confusing thread.

I'm confused about why the OP accepted the invite in the first place, considering how she feels about the couple. To those saying that people go to weddings out of politeness all the time - really? That's just bizarre, there's no way I'd go to a wedding if I/DP weren't friends with the couple.

I gather that the OP did not in fact write the reply, but I haven't read the COMPLETE thread so I don't know if she wrote something else. It's a bit weird to base the thread on an imaginary reply, however. As others have said, it's not a particularly funny/witty reply, just rather bitchy and stupid.

The wedding invite had the price of the meal - though this should have been stated more clearly (presuming that it wasn't). Having said all that, charging guests for a wedding meal is pretty rude/distasteful IMO.

samandi, OP's real reply was " I think me and DH will have to decline on this occasion. All the best."

AmadeusRocks Tue 18-Jun-13 19:31:13
I genuinely did write it the last two sentences anyway

Was the actual post

And I think this thread proves nicely why you shouldn't make jokes in an OP without making it quite clear it was a joke :) Even when it was clear people thought she'd actually said that, the OP didn't say.

YANBU.

But, YABU posting this in AIBU, you ought to know the catsbums will come out!

I think the last two setences say enough really (the rest of OP's thoughts can be left to the imagination) YANBU by the way. How very cheeky of them!

You weren't being unreasonable for not wanting to go to a wedding you have to pay for.

You were for being so rude about it, though.

The ultimate invitation my ex and I declined was one where a couple were having their wedding at a castle - there was a formal dresscode for day and evening AND we would have had to book a room at the castle. It would have cost us hundreds of pounds - ex was in a postgrad trainee position at £9K and I was a student. We politely declined, explained that we couldn't afford it when asked and at no point told them that they were a bit full of themselves, no matter how much we were thinking it.

I think it's been a funny thread. Thanks op.

I would have wanted to write the same, but like you, am too much of a wimp to actually send it.

Charging for the meal is very gauche, but what's wrong with Marc Jacobs perfume?

Presumably its expensive and odd to be on a wdding list. people don't usually put personal items on them, do they?

OP

Please tell me exactly what you wrote not the bits you imagined

I am curious.

Just the last two sentences

"I think me and DH will have to decline on this occasion. All the best."

Jesus and she asked for gifts!

I will bet they have a bucket for contributions to her dress!

"I mean at least when I go to a restaurant I don't have to make an 80 mile round trip, sit through hours of watching you pose like a duck beside a tree, listen to your drip of a husband moan about how wonderful you are and I get to select my own food"

Ooh naughty!

But no, if you can't afford to treat your guests as guests, go somewhere cheaper.

No, not rude. She is.

That is the absolute cheekiest bridal stunt I have ever come across.

I'm going to record it in my journal now.

PMSL at Crowler and her journal.

I think your reply (if you sent it) was blunt but very funny. I think the bridal couple are taking the proverbial

I was a wee bit horrified by the 'pose like a dick' and 'drip of a husband' but if you only put the last 2 sentences in the reply then you bloody rock, OP.

Pose like a duck. Suppose it means basically the same.

Your response was good.
Anyone who charges guests attending their wedding deserves contempt and derision.

Thanks margaery and shewhowines.

In that case, OP is not being unreasonable.

That's the funniest pile of shit I've read in ages!