To have politely informed this woman that I will not pay to attend her wedding

[AmadeusRocks]

Received an invitation to a former colleagues wedding about 8 months ago (wedding im november this year) and was a bit shocked that they had listed out the menu inside with the price (£35 per head) underneath. Accepted the invitation thinking they were just being showy bastards and bragging about how expensive the food will be, DH thought the same, however this woman was once a good friend of mine so we accepted. I was a bit about the mark Jacobs perfume on the gift list as well.

I have just received a message on Facebook as follows:

Twatwoman: hi Amadeus, sorry to bother you so soon after the birth of your new baby but was just wondering if you could possibly transfer the £70 for yours and H's meal at the wedding to me soon, the caterers are getting on our backs! Account details: XXXXXXX

Me: hi twatwoman, me and ds are fine thanks for asking, I'm a bit confused, are we paying for our own meals at our wedding?

Twatwoman: haha yes, it's a bit modern isn't it, but I suppose it's only the same as going to a restaurant but with all your friends

Me: hmmm I'm not sure it is the same really, I mean at least when I go to a restaurant I don't have to make an 80 mile round trip, sit through hours of watching you pose like a duck beside a tree, listen to your drip of a husband moan about how wonderful you are and I get to select my own food. I think me and DH will have to decline on this occasion. All the best.


She has not responded.

Aibu?

[howdoIdealwiththisone]

This surely isn't real. We all like to think these things but surely nobody actually says them.

If you did you sound like a nasty person.

[AmadeusRocks]

I really should have cottoned on when I got the invitation, I just thought "does anybody seriously ask guests to pay for their own meal at a big fancy wedding?"

[patienceisvirtuous]

Ahem, this sounds like poppycock to me

[StuffezLaYoni]

I really hope you didn't write that!

[usualsuspect]

I would imagine you will get a 'fuck you' email back.

[AmadeusRocks]

So consensus is that I am bloody rude I blame the post pregnancy hormones

[Dackyduddles]

Jeez, could you not just have said you were busy? I get you thought it odd/modern but she invited you to her wedding.... I think "no" could have been said a lot nicer tbh.

[Turniptwirl]

Depends... If the couple are not well off but have a big family/social circle and would otherwise struggle to attend then asking guests to pay for their own meals is a way of saving money. But I think they should have confirmed that this was ok when you rspved, and told you how to pay.

Judging from your email you're probably uninvited now anyway!

[Dackyduddles]

No you can't blame post preg hormones. I am too but think that's way ott!

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

You actually wrote that back or you wish you did?

screen shot of the fb convo or it didn't happen

[LeoTheLateBloomer]

Tbh I'm more appalled at your behaviour than hers. And I think hers was pretty awful. Also particularly slow not to have realised the implication from the outset.

[Dackyduddles]

What makes you think it's a fancy wedding? Lost me again sorry OP

[Concreteblonde]

'snort'

[sue52]

As if the round trip, hotel bill, petrol and present aren't enough; there are now people who ask you to pay for the food of their choice in the venue of their choosing. Too modern for my taste.

[AmadeusRocks]

She's fucking minted, her father is paying for the wedding as well, which is why I've reacted like this seeing as some of my friends actually cannot afford to get married

[bigkidsdidit]

If this is true, how coul you have possibly not thought tht was incredibly rude

You could have just said no, you no, without insulting her.

[heidihole]

you never said that did you? hopes you did just cos I love a car crash moment

[YouTheCat]

I think it's fair enough. If you can't afford a big wedding you shouldn't have one. Expecting all your guests to fork our £35 a head for food is ridiculous.

[BasilBabyEater]

I don't believe a word of this but it's jolly good fun.

[bigkidsdidit]

You know

[Fuzzysnout]

Do let us know her reply OP.

[howdoIdealwiththisone]

You don't have to be rude if someone is rude to you you know. And anyway she wasn't rude in her conversation with you. Grabby maybe, presumptuous maybe but not rude. You were downright horrible and there was no need for it.

[patienceisvirtuous]

If you did send that reply, which I doubt, calling her husband and drip is personal and nasty.

[BrianTheMole]