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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is a massive overreaction?

45 replies

passmetheprozac · 12/06/2013 19:41

Apologies if this has been posted already.

Really?

It was wrong that the kid was left with no lunch, however the parents had been told three times about the debt.

To take two children out of school, and disrupt their education over this is just imvho overkill.

I wonder what his reaction is when his kids do something wrong.

OP posts:
Ragusa · 12/06/2013 19:42

YANBU. I feel sorry for the school. And the son.

Branleuse · 12/06/2013 19:44

yanbu

AlpacaPicnic · 12/06/2013 19:46

YANBU - this is in my local area so has been on the news all blardy day. DH is getting sick of me yelling at the tv 'Pay your fecking bill then!'

I just think it was embarrasing for the child and easily avoided.

TidyDancer · 12/06/2013 19:47

He has overreacted big time, but the school were also wrong IMO.

The reasonable thing to do would be to accept mistakes were made but that it wasn't malicious. Then everyone could move on.

Sparklymommy · 12/06/2013 19:47

The father was a governor at the school. I accept the school are wrong to expect a child to go all day without a meal, but the father knew the rules- he was on the committee that set them!

I expect he thought he was above the rules. He had been warned three times.

Antisecco · 12/06/2013 19:47

In fact I think the school management and the parents want their heads knocking together. And I think the boy should have been given lunch.

Antisecco · 12/06/2013 19:48

Sorry when I said parents...I'm not sure the mother is implicated in this at all!

vintagecakeisstillnice · 12/06/2013 19:50

Horrific ?

Tis a sheltered life he's led if he thinks missing one meal is horrific and physical and emotional neglect".

Not nice for the child Ill admit but really. .

HildaOgden · 12/06/2013 19:50

Think it's a bit rich of the father,implying the school are 'using' the kids to make a point.....he is doing exactly that himself.

Plus,he was warned 3 times that non-payment would result in a meal not being served,how many warnings did he need?17?

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 12/06/2013 19:57

No, I think I'm with the dad on this. Subject to not being totally clear on all points.

I think it says something very nasty about the school to treat a child in this way, a total lack of pastoral care that reflects very badly. Not sure I would pull a child from school automatically but I would start the process to find an alternative school.

I can be very disorganized (well, actually I think I am very organised it's just that I have some weeks that are crazy - 60 working hours plus commute and travelling to a couple of different countries). So sometime stuff gets missed.

It's not really clear HOW the parents were notified is it? The business manager guy said 'they normally phone parents' as though it didn't happen this time? If he was phoned and told, 'credit money or your son gets no food' then it is very poor treatment of the boy but an over reaction to pull them out of school.

IF the school had not spoken directly to a parent about it then I think they deserve the pillorying they are getting.

unadulterateddad · 12/06/2013 19:58

I feel sorry for the School, what an irritating twat of a parent...

moanymandy · 12/06/2013 20:02

yanbu in the sense that the father has disrupted the children's education which is obviously not good.

But I cannot believe the school refused a child lunch over a £1.75 debt! and I don't understand how he was warned 3 times about a debt that small, over what time period? Surely £1.75 can't be any more than a days debt?!

disclaimer: I don't have any school age children so dont know the ins and outs of cost of school meals etc but reading this at 6 months pregnant got my pregnancy rage going! Angry

poor boy!

MaryPoppinsBag · 12/06/2013 20:06

Shock Why would you do that to a child?

I wonder how much food was thrown away that day. So very very unkind. And if I worked in that school I'd have bloody paid for his dinner.

The argument is between the parents and the school, not between the school and the child.

cosydressinggown · 12/06/2013 20:08

I'd be very very upset if my child was refused lunch. It is clearly not the child's fault, whoever else's fault it is. I am glad the school are getting negative publicity for treating a kid like that.

Original poster
passmetheprozac · 12/06/2013 20:10

I really do not understand the reasoning behind disrupting two children's education over what is, in the grand scheme of things, a minor incident.

The father was also a school governor, and instead of making sure this doesn't happen again to his or anyone else's children, he takes his kids out of school and goes to the papers. The mind boggles Confused

OP posts:
Blissx · 12/06/2013 20:10

Well, the father set the policy whilst being a Governor and didn't like it when it was enforced. A case of, "not in my backyard..." (but ok for others).

CSIJanner · 12/06/2013 20:13

The dad was on the local news tonight. The school admitted they tried (but not necessarily successfully) to contact the parents 3times but the father says that they had not been notified until Friday.

IMHO both the school and the parents are at fault here. The catering staff were supposed to call the parents that morning which apparently they didn't and the parents could have easily checked the account online. The loser is the 10yo the parents are currently parading in front of the press.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 12/06/2013 20:19

I would not take the child out of school but the school is way out of line. 1.75 does not require a child to go hungry and is indefensible for the school.

KatyDid02 · 12/06/2013 20:26

I think that he has over reacted, but maybe it was the final straw that made him fed up with the school?

HollyBerryBush · 12/06/2013 20:37

No one starves between 9am and 3pm.

very flouncy parent governor - love the fact he takes his Y6 out NOW, and extra 6 weeks summer holiday - and the other kid is transferring schools next week.

Parents with issues. They will be hell no matter where their children are educated.

rockybalboa · 12/06/2013 20:37

What a knob. How is it some people just don't think that rules apply to them? Presumably he thought he'd wait til they told him a 4th, 5th or 6th time before he'd bother to pay. Can't be doing with people who don't think they have to abide by the same rules as everyone else.

pointythings · 12/06/2013 20:56

I think leaving a child without food is never, ever acceptable. My DD forgot her packed lunch the other day and the school gave her a school dinner even though she had no money. (I made her pay for it out of her own pocket money though, since I'd already provided the packed lunch).

What did shock me though was the dinner ladies' reaction the next day when she came to pay for the previous day's lunch - they told her she was a very honest girl and they wished everyone was like her, which say a a lot about the number of people who actually don't pay Shock. I don't think the children should suffer for their parents' bad behaviour, though. If schools can impose fines for non-attendance then surely they can chase people for payment of school dinners too?

AnneTwacky · 12/06/2013 20:57

It was an over-reaction but the school shouldn't have left the child without food.

NotYoMomma · 12/06/2013 21:02

School was pathetic over that amount.

MrsLouisTheroux · 12/06/2013 21:11

What a stupid dad a) for not paying after 3 reminders and b) taking his children out of school after one missed meal. And, what a stupid school refusing to serve a pupil over a £1.75 debt!
Both sides pathetic.

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