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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to cook dinner for dh?

76 replies

AmberSocks · 21/05/2013 22:20

dh has been on at me for ages to cut his hair,i really dont want to,im not a hair dresser although ive done it a couple of times before and its looked ok,it was only by chance i think.he wont go to the hairdresser because he says he hates having to make conversation with them.....,hes very anti social.

tonight he came dwnstairs and he had shaved his head,grade 8 on top and 4 underneath and told me now he had done that i had to tidy it up,he has a big meeting tomorrow,i was annoyed bt had a go,it took ages,the kids were still up and needed to go to bed and me and dh still hadnt eaten,this was at about 8.30,i couldnt get it to look right so i gave up and he put the kids to bed while i hoovered up the 5 tonnes of black hair allover downstairs.

when he came down he said whats for dinner,i told him what we have but said i didnt fancy cooking as im tired now(also pregnant)so either he makes dinner or just make himself something quick(was 9.30 now)he was really annoyed and said he couldnt believe it and said it hit a new low(no idea what he means)and said im selfish.

i dont think iabu,but am i?

OP posts:
MrsMangoBiscuit · 22/05/2013 08:24

Lazy, selfish, arrogant, sexist wanker!

YANBU, ywnbu to never fucking cook for him again!

If he doesn't want to go to the hairdressers, that's his call, and his problem, NOT yours! To demand that you "fix" his attempt, there and then, is so unreasonable, it would be funny if he didn't actually mean it. That's before he even starts acting like an idiot over dinner!

FJL203 · 22/05/2013 08:41

What MrsMango said.

I'd be buggered if I'd cook for him again until he changed his attitude.

KittensoftPuppydog · 22/05/2013 08:44

What a prick. I think it's really vile to make someone else clear up your personal administration.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 22/05/2013 08:54

It's really horrible that he called you selfish - so divorced from the reality of what selfish actually is.

Ywnbu, and Yanbu to make some changes if you aren't happy with the way your husband treats you and what he expects.

lottiegarbanzo · 22/05/2013 09:03

Even if you agreed to sort out the hair, why not wait until after dinner?

Your post about him resisting bedtime routine is odd though, as it sounds as though you haven't discussed and agreed an approach to parenting and you do one thing and that he acts to sabotage your approach, rather than you both discussing things. I fear a can of worms lurks, with the hair / dinner incident the very least of it.

NotSoNervous · 22/05/2013 09:08

YANBU
He's a grown man and more then capable of making a sandwich or something for one night.

Show the lazy fecker this thread and show him just how right mumsnet thinks he is

KellyElly · 22/05/2013 09:15

Unless you are a child you don't need anyone to cook your dinner, you are perfectly capable of cooking it yourself. End of!

kotinka · 22/05/2013 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigbuttons · 22/05/2013 09:18

op you need to watch out;he is manipulative and controlling.

lottiegarbanzo · 22/05/2013 11:17

Btw, I also had a short run of seeming to be ok at cutting men's hair, completely by luck, as my final attempt demonstrated! It did need a barber to tidy that one up. He's taking his scalp in his hands by entrusting his haircut to similar lack of experience. You'd told him you weren't competent, I wonder how he'd have reacted if his gamble had not paid off this time and he'd needed an early-morning barber appointment, or a hat? His choice, his consequences!

More seriously, does he always put his wants before the dcs' needs and expect you to drop everything and come running when he calls?

Whoknowswhocares · 22/05/2013 11:18

Stop enabling him! In a bid to force you to do his hair, he made a pigs ear of it and then said you 'had to' tidy it up.
Like hell you did! Let him go around looking like the dick he is behaving and stop allowing him to manipulate you
As for the food, well bugger that! You are his pregnant wife, not a bloody servant.

marciaoverstrand · 22/05/2013 11:27

Haven't you got enough to do looking after four childrenShock
Tell him to go to the bloody barbers, I'm sure they are not bothered about making conversations.
My dh runs the shaver over his head and I do the bits he's missed but this takes 5 mins and my dc are adults.
He's being a selfish knobber

pinkballetflats · 22/05/2013 11:31

WTF? YANBU at all. He is, and not just about the dinner...

LEMisdisappointed · 22/05/2013 11:32

He's absolutely right - it certainly has hit a new low!!!!

The new low being him expecting you to pander to his every whim, despite being knackered after HE made dinner late.

Mr AmberSocks - Grow up!!

oscarwilde · 22/05/2013 11:33

Let's state the facts as I see it
You have 4 children under 6
You have a 7 month old
You are already pregnant again
Your husband appears to expect you to wait on him hand and foot.

He is a lazy git, selfish and inconsiderate to boot. Please do yourself a favour and use the hairdressing scissors to give him the snip !

pinkballetflats · 22/05/2013 11:35

Also...

*he actually said "if you put this on mumsnet i bet they would all tell you im right!" he always says that,hes heard of mumsnet and was a bit hmm when i started coming on he

Does he always think he's right? He's displaying nil ability to reflect and empathise.

Picturepuncture · 22/05/2013 11:37

I am Shock that you have so many children with this man. In the nicest possible way OP have you not realised what a wanker he is before?

Jestrin · 22/05/2013 11:37

Probably not helpful but my DH does his own hair too and I shape the back for him. I'm not a hairdresser either and was a bit nervous at first but have got used to,it now. However, he will ASK me first if I wouldn't mind doing his hair before he starts and if I can't he waits for me. As for tea, our children are older but there are times when I haven't cooked and he is fine with it. He always says 'that ok, I'll get something. Don't worry.' Even if he has had a full day at work. -he also make me a cup of tea as soon as he gets in-

My point is, why put up with a selfish twat? He is an adult and capable of getting his own food..

Jestrin · 22/05/2013 11:38

Strike out fail!

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 22/05/2013 11:41

Why didn't you point out his hair was all over the place and then the location of the Hoover? Sorry, but he sounds like a dick and perhaps you run around after him a bit too much.

diddl · 22/05/2013 11:43

OMG.

Four young children, pregnant again & all he can think about is his hair?

He won't go as he's anti social?

Get in the chair & close your fucking eyes then!!

cornflakegirl · 22/05/2013 11:50

I cut my husband's hair for him (with clippers). I do it at a time convenient to me. He is grateful. And he cooks my dinner.

Starting a job at a rubbish time of day that then requires your intervention is annoying, but forgiveable (to me, because I am not good with time, so would be the guilty party sometimes). Demanding that you cook dinner afterwards is completely unacceptable.

Does he take you for granted normally, or was he stressed because of the big meeting?

IUsedtobeMe · 22/05/2013 12:16

I cut my husband's hair with clippers too.

He has learnt to ask me in the morning to do it when it's convenient to me.

I have just found out he is cheating on me. He doesn't know I know.

I'm actually looking forward to this weekend as I know he will ask me to cut it for him. Grin

OP. He's a knob. YADNBU. Next time he tries this kind of blackmail, let him go to his meeting looking a prat.

FannyFifer · 22/05/2013 12:21

What a lot of fannying about cooking different dinners though.

Give kids a snack when come in from school, then everyone have dinner together at 6. You can relax for the evening then when they go to bed.

Your husband is being an ass though.

StuntGirl · 22/05/2013 13:28

I hadn't really noticed the many children/pregnant factor. Likes you barefoot and pregnant does he?

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