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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think DD2's school is being ridiculous

40 replies

NeverBeenToMe · 16/05/2013 12:19

Dd2 is in year 11. Working hard for exams etc. and starts study leave after Whit. She is a fairly quiet, studious girl. This morning she has been pulled out of an English lesson (exam is on Monday), told her skirt is too short and she has to wear trousers tomorrow. She has worn this skirt for WEEKS without any comments from anyone at school. And suddenly with six days left, they think I am going to buy her a pair of trousers??

Someone I work with (in education!) has suggested keeping her off until study leave starts, if I don't get a satisfactory conclusion from a conversation with the Head of Year - am quite tempted to do this and just have her study at home.

She was given a lecture on wearing suitable attire for work etc - but as far as I am concerned she has another five years in education - plenty of time to worry about work attire then!

OP posts:

SullenCrescent · 16/05/2013 12:22

How short is her skirt?

ThingummyBob · 16/05/2013 12:23

I'd call the HT and ask why a skirt she has worn for weeks is suddenly not good enough six days left at school.

Ask forcefully enough that she/he needs to provide you with a reasonable answer which there clearly isn't don't be fobbed off.

Tbh I'd send her in each day in the skirt if she's happy to do so. See what happens...

IHeartKingThistle · 16/05/2013 12:24

I really, really wouldn't have her miss the last week of school before GCSEs to make a point. Although I agree they are being ridiculous making an issue of it now.

CarpeVinum · 16/05/2013 12:25

How many inches above the top of her knee is it ?

We used to roll ours up at the waistband. and I was a quiet studious girl before my o levels too.

I think given the stakes I'd grab a pair of cheap trews pronto, get her back in and then go and have a chat to see what the issue was. It may be a storm in a teacup, it may be there were additional details you weren't aware of.

IHeartKingThistle · 16/05/2013 12:26

Thingummy she should be preparing for exams, not psyching up for a uniform battle every day. She doesn't need any more stress, surely?

Blu · 16/05/2013 12:27

They are being ridiculous, but this is not the moment to make your dd the fulcrum of a stand off between you and the school.

Maybe her skirt has really been too short all these weeks and she has had the benefit of not being pulled p on it earlier.

Be calm, call the Head of year or whoever and suggest in a reasonable way that she wear her skirt until study leave starts.

Has she been turning the top over once she leaves the house or something?

Hamwidge · 16/05/2013 12:27

Yanbu. For the sake of 6 days I would argue the toss. Send in a note saying you will replace the skirt when you get paid at the end of the month. By which point she will have left.

SavoyCabbage · 16/05/2013 12:28

Undo the hem and make it a bit longer. It's ridiculous to expect you to buy uniform now!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 16/05/2013 12:29

Now is not the time to have a battle IMO, she just needs to focus.

Go in and find out what has happened by all means, but if the easiest road is buying a pair of trousers then just do it. How much will they be, £20-£25? That is cheap for a set of decent GCSE results, surely?

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 16/05/2013 12:30

Just get her a longer skirt or some trousers. If she's grown over the last few weeks then maybe it's shorter now than it was then. Or she rolls it up. Given the ridiculous short skirts and really tight trousers I see, a school trying to keep a lid on it isn't a bad thing. Don't make a fuss it's not what she needs right now. Yanbu to think this late it's a bit pointless but a rule is a rule I guess and if one person flouts it then it spirals.

NotYoMomma · 16/05/2013 12:31

£20 - £25 for school trousers?!?!

You are either on crack or very rich lol

helenthemadex · 16/05/2013 12:34

I would do what Hamwidge said its the most sensible solution

£20-£25 may not be much to some people but to me others its not that easy to find especially for 6 days!

Moomoomie · 16/05/2013 12:37

Go to your nearest sainsburys or tesco and pick up a skirt. Less than a tenner. Job done.
Give it to charity once she leves school.... Or let her burn it

RooneyMara · 16/05/2013 12:39

what is 'whit' please?

ThingummyBob · 16/05/2013 12:39

Iheart I do agree with you. That's why I said only if the dd was happy to go in.

I think if they send her home/pull her from class again I'd be inclined to buy trousers, but really, wtf are the school playing at.

I'd call the HT first still though - and ask for that explanation. Any reasonable person would surely back down at that stage...

jacks365 · 16/05/2013 12:40

You should be able to find trousers for about £5. Speak to the school to see if you can sort it out as it might not be as it appears, maybe one teacher talking out of line rather than the heads decision so they may be ok with it.

To those saying stand your ground please note that if the skirt does breech uniform rules the school is entitled to send her home and not sit exams, they'd be stupid to do so but have the right.

ThingummyBob · 16/05/2013 12:41

This coming half term holiday is sometimes known as whit Rooney.

lucjam · 16/05/2013 12:43

Can't she just wear some leggings underneath for the last few days at school?

tiggytape · 16/05/2013 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

NeverBeenToMe · 16/05/2013 12:46

I have phoned Head of Year who will ring me back when she has looked into the matter.

It's above the knee admittedly and if she had been told earlier in the year I would have been happy to replace it.

It is the timing of it that I am finding difficult to comprehend. Apparently form tutors are supposed to check uniform daily! I think I will do the "when I get paid" line There is no way I would buy a pair of trousers for six days' wear. Unless a pair of black linen ones that she would wear again would do ......

OP posts:

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 16/05/2013 12:47

Unpick the hem and gain an inch?

Original poster

NeverBeenToMe · 16/05/2013 12:48

Off at a tangent - is it not called Whit(sun) anymore?

OP posts:

meditrina · 16/05/2013 12:48

"If she's grown over the last few weeks" - unlikely in year 11.

But is there any chance you've still got her old skirt shoved in a cupboard somewhere?

If not, I'd go for the "I will replace after my next pay check" approach, or let down the hem (or see if waistband can be adjusted so it sits a bit lower) and hope for the best.

And yes, they are very silly to be doing this with year 11 leavers with only 6 days to go. Better approach, if they need a crack down, would be to target all the year groups continuing in the school. And to give them all the dire warnings next week, telling them to be properly dressed after half term or else.

TigerSwallowTail · 16/05/2013 12:48

Get her to stick some thick tights or a pair of leggings on underneath her skirt.

RooneyMara · 16/05/2013 12:48

Thanks, Thingummy...is that a private school thing/ I've never heard it used, in the circles I move within

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