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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeling upset about incident this morning

21 replies

Domaby · 10/05/2013 17:30

I'm not really sure if this counts as an AIBU. I sort of just wanted to write down what happened this morning. It's really affected me.

We live in London. I was walking back from the shops with DS2 in his pram this morning. We came to a road which has an island in the middle and two separate green man crossings (one to get to the middle and then one to get to the other side). When I got to the road the green man was on both. I crossed to the middle and just started to cross the second one when the green man started flashing. I could hear a siren in the distance but glanced and couldn't see anything just before I started to cross.

When I was about two thirds of the way over I turned my head to the right and saw a small red car coming fast right towards me on the wrong side of the road (the cars were all stopped for the crossing to my left). It was going straight towards me so I pushed DS2 forwards and ran onto the pavement. As the car passed me it mounted the pavement to get round the stopped cars and crashed into a bin and a lamppost before going the wrong way round a roundabout. A police car with its siren on then came up the right side of the road and went the wrong way to the car so lost it.

Clearly, we got caught up in a police chase. As we walked home police cars kept going past and I could hear sirens. I was really shaken up, I feel like by crossing when the green man was flashing that I almost killed DS2 and myself. I was really shaking as I walked home and nervous about crossing the road as the direction the car went was the way I'm going.

I suppose my AIBU is, am I being AIBU to feel like this? I just keep dwelling on how close I came to getting DS2 hit by a car. Also, does anyone think I ought to contact the police? I guess I'm a witness although I didn't see who was in the car or even what make it was.

OP posts:
WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 10/05/2013 17:33

I'm not surprised you are shaken up, I certainly would be, sorry, can't write much as I've got to go out, but YANBU. Do think about contacting the police as a witness too, yes.

Dahlialover · 10/05/2013 17:34

You need hug and a slice of cake.Brew

Not your fault - it happens and you and baby are safe.

Thisisaeuphemism · 10/05/2013 17:34

What a horrible experience. I'm not surprised you're going over it in your mind. Its frightening. You didn't do anything wrong, of course.

I wouldn't think you have anything to add to what the police already know.

Hope you feel better soon.

Vivacia · 10/05/2013 17:35

I think your reaction is natural, normal and proportional. I don't think you need to contact the police. I do think you need to take care of yourself until you get over the shock of this morning's events.

IvorHughJarse · 10/05/2013 17:37

Oh how horrible for you. Have you got someone there with you?

DaydreamDolly · 10/05/2013 17:37

Just to reassure you, if it was a police chase, I very much doubt the car being chased would stop for a red light. So for beating yourself up for crossing with a flashing green man, YABU.

Glad you are all ok.

freddiefrog · 10/05/2013 17:41

YANBU at all, what a horrible experience.

I remember a couple of years ago I was walking along a footpath with my eldest DD when a coach came far too fast around a corner and the wing mirror missed DD's head by millimetres, I completely freaked. It still plays on my mind sometimes even now.

I hope you feel better soon

tabulahrasa · 10/05/2013 17:42

If the driver was willing to mount the pavement, hit things and go around a roundabout the wrong way, when you crossed wouldn't have made any difference at all.

It's perfectly natural to be really upset over it.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/05/2013 17:46

It wasn't your fault, you are shocked.

I got knocked over by a car once (not hurt - just big bruise) but it shook me up and my overriding feeling was of stupidity and also realisation how nearly I could have died.

I might call the police. You might feel better to tell someone about it. They might want to hear about the driver's behaviour.

RevoltingPeasant · 10/05/2013 17:46

I think it is natural. I also think calling the police would be a good public spirited thing to do.

I would call your local station and say you witnessed a chase and would it be helpful to have a statement from you. If not, they will say so. You cannot tell what kind the car was, but if they are building a case against someone, you can say 'a small red car at 8.30am on the XXX Road'. That might help in court.

I also say this because I think it might help you feel control over the incident. It's pro-active and maybe helpful.

Then just have a cuddle with DS and a hot drink Thanks

themaltesecat · 10/05/2013 17:47

Glad you and the little one are safe. Flowers

BornInACrossFireHurricane · 10/05/2013 17:48

I agree- don't even think about the fact you crossed when the green man was flashing, I'm sure the car being chased would have paid little attention to traffic lights.

Horrible experience for you. I hope you feel ok soon

gordyslovesheep · 10/05/2013 17:51

oh how awful for you x YANBU to be upset x Try not to dwell on 'what might have been' - you are all safe and you did nothing wrong xxx

CuppaSarah · 10/05/2013 17:52

You need a good long sit down!! You poor mite, but the fact you pushed your DS, by the sounds of it before you even thought about yourself is really heroic! I hope if push ever comes to shove I can react in the way you did! You are amazing and did the right thing.

MammaMedusa · 10/05/2013 17:54

I live on a road with a hospital, fire station and police station. Our rule now is that if we hear the sirens, we do not cross until they have gone past or we've seen they are going another way.

Not blaming you at all, but I have seen a bit too much high speed and road crossing for my liking...

AlbertoFrog · 10/05/2013 18:02

Of course you're shaken up - you've had a nasty shock. You may feel like this for a few days or more and keep thinking about what could have happened but you can't go back and change things and anyway I'd have done the exact same as you in the circumstances.

Have a glass of wine this evening and give DCs extra hugs.

digerd · 10/05/2013 18:03

Try to concentrate on the fact that you were both safe, and imagine a guardian angel was looking after you. I am not religious, but that thought always gives me such warmth and gratefulness.

What I am angry about is that the police drove the wrong way and the dangerous maniac driver got away.

It was not your fault.

hopingnothopping · 10/05/2013 18:08

When something traumatic happens (and this was undoubtedly traumatic, as is any event where you feel that your or your child's life might have been in danger), it is normal to have "what ifs" play out in your mind. They can be quite disturbing so YANBU to feel very shaken. You have nothing to feel bad about though - you were crossing the road in a normal manner. Big Hugs. I am soooo very glad you and baby are fine. Since it's Friday have this Wine

When my DD was 18 months, she pulled a heavy mahogany bookcase down almost on top of herself - it would have killed her if she hadn't stepped out of the way at the last minute. It still gives me shivers to this day to think I hadn't secured it to the wall, hadn't watched her well enough and didn't react quickly enough when I saw it begin to fall..... near misses are shocking.

aderynlas · 10/05/2013 18:12

I always do the "what if" thing, sit and have a cwtch with your ds and a Brew, always helps to make you feel better.

Original poster
Domaby · 10/05/2013 18:29

Thanks everyone. I'm just at home with my two DS so it's been playing on my mind a lot. You're right about them not stopping even if it was a full green man - they obviously weren't stopping for anything. I'm just so glad that DS1 was at pre-school because he would have been walking. DH said he'd bring a bottle of wine home this evening...

OP posts:
Svrider · 10/05/2013 18:50

Yanbu

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