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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To read my book whilst baby plays?

34 replies

BoraBora · 05/05/2013 18:37

I'll start this by saying I didn't do this, because I felt too guilty, and I'm not sure how unreasonable it is!

I have a 6m old, and the other day, I was shattered as she'd basically been feeding all night. Would it have been UR to lie on the bed with her, her with some toys and me reading a book? I know you can't interact with them all the time, and I leave her with toys when I have to tidy up or have a shower (always in the same room as me). Is it wrong to leave her to play "independently" when the thing I'm doing isn't essential?

OP posts:

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 05/05/2013 18:38

Are you joking??

Sirzy · 05/05/2013 18:38

Of course its not wrong. make the most of it when she will let you!

StuntGirl · 05/05/2013 18:41

If you don't I suspect you'll go mad before she even reaches 1. A baby doesn't need to demand your time literally 24/7, you are allowed the occasional down time!

peachypips · 05/05/2013 18:44

I could have written that five years ago. I felt guilty doing anything non-essential when DS1 was around.
I have two DSs now and I don't feel guilty anymore- am too tired!

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 05/05/2013 18:44

I think it will be calming for her. She'll play happily knowing you're by her side.

JustinBiebermakesmevom · 05/05/2013 19:06

I was like this with DS1...and even when I was reading thought that it must be some book about child development or the likes. Lie back and relax. Kids need to learn to amuse themselves and there is such a thing as them being over stimulated.

Original poster

BoraBora · 05/05/2013 19:08

Sadly, I'm not joking! I felt really guilty for evening thinking it. And YY to then thinking the book should at least be on child development!

OP posts:

Shannaratiger · 05/05/2013 19:09

It would be good for her:
1 she needs to amusing herself sometime
2 Seeing you read is the first step on the road to her enjoying reading
3 A happy sane mum makes a happy relaxed child!

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/05/2013 19:11

Umm. She's happy, clean, fed and entertained. Umm. What is the issue here?

Figgygal · 05/05/2013 19:12

Of course not do u literally stare lovingly into her eyes every moment she is awake?

U need to do other things, read a magazine, newspaper watch some telly she prob won't even notice now she's getting more aware of things and her own ability to interact with things

pumpkinsweetie · 05/05/2013 19:12

Aslong as you watch she don't fall off the bed, cant see any problem in it at all, pretty normal for most mums. Happy mum, happy child

TheChaoGoesMu · 05/05/2013 19:12

Crikey, of course you should. I've always done it with both dc, even now at age 3 and 5. You need a bit of time for you too, you'll go insane otherwise.

tethersend · 05/05/2013 19:13

Hmm. Im not sure. Which book?

BrienneOfTarth · 05/05/2013 19:19

No this is not wrong. It's absolutely fine so long as the baby is happy.

It is good for babies to have opportunities to interact with toys on their own without an adult directing the play. It is very good for babies to grow up seeing their parents choosing to read for pleasure while the child does something else - it gives them confidence and self-reliance and helps them to 'get' the fact that reading to yourself is fun!

EarnestDullard · 05/05/2013 19:23

YANBU. I remember feeling the same with DD1 though, thinking you need to be entertaining them all the time. But it's actually good for babies to learn to play independently. As long as she's happy, you've got one eye on her (and she's not in danger of hurting herself e.g. rolling off furniture or getting hold of things she shouldn't), go for it :)

littlepeas · 05/05/2013 19:26

I think it is fine to do this too! We often cuddle up but do independent things for an hour or so in the afternoons after a busy morning - my dc are 4.5, 3.5 and 20 months. It is good for children to have some time to be quiet and it is also good for them to be able to play by themselves for a while!

noblegiraffe · 05/05/2013 19:27

She needs to play independently to improve her hand eye coordination and so on. She can't concentrate on that if you're distracting her the whole time!

Spice17 · 05/05/2013 19:30

I'm surprised by the majority opinion not because I disagree with it at all but because I also have a 6 month old and like the OP, have never done anything like this.

I occasionally go on the laptop if she's playing on her mat - but even then I feel soooo guilty, now I know it's what other mothers do, I might just grab a mag put some toys down on the bed and relax with her for a bit - you should too OP, we work hard enough, we deserve it :)

SirBoobAlot · 05/05/2013 19:32

I do this now, and DS is 3.5. He likes having some time to play solo, and I like to chill out with a book. We both win!

birdofthenorth · 05/05/2013 19:53

Mumsnet would have a lot less traffic if we didn't all occasionally put non-essential leisure pursuits ahead of lavishing system on our DC

Yanbu, unless you are reading for hours on end!

peachypips · 05/05/2013 20:36

This is giving me joy to read!

Catmint · 05/05/2013 20:39

If you need a worthy reason, it is v important that children see their parents taking time to themselves sometimes and it is very good to model taking pleasure in reading.

Original poster

BoraBora · 05/05/2013 20:43

This looks like it might be one of those thing that no one tells you an new mums feel guilty about!

OP posts:

RubyGates · 05/05/2013 20:45

Do it! Do it now!

LaQueen · 05/05/2013 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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