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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its acceptable to leave DC with reliable babysitter for evening/overnight?

36 replies

Illustrationaddict · 04/05/2013 02:48

I'm just wondering what people think? I left DC with GPs for evening at a few weeks and overnight at about 4 months. Read a thread earlier at this not being very acceptable by most posters, but quite honestly think I needed a refresher break so I could be a happy content Mummy for DC. is this only me?

OP posts:
Gigondas · 04/05/2013 02:54

Nope would do same if was happy with sitter

HullMum · 04/05/2013 03:05

nope

LittleMissLucy · 04/05/2013 03:05

If its family and you trust them and they have a good rapport with the kids then so be it.

HullMum · 04/05/2013 03:06

sorry, nope, I wouldn't do it

neontetra · 04/05/2013 03:20

Fine if all concerned are happy.

saladcreamwitheverything · 04/05/2013 03:25

My son was left overnight with grandparents at two weeks old, I was back at work five days after, it's the way of the world these days!

AmericasTorturedBrow · 04/05/2013 03:26

YANBU

unebagpipe · 04/05/2013 06:21

I would have done it happily. My parents and my il's have raised 6 children between them (including me Wink) so I had 100% faith that my ds would be safe. Happy mummy=happy baby. So a night off is no bad thing if that is the result!

Fivemoreminutesmummy · 04/05/2013 06:26

I think it's a good thing if you've got people you trust. Good for parents who need a night's sleep and to recharge batteries, for grandparents who love getting to do everything for baby and even for baby as it helps bonding with other close relatives.

ballstoit · 04/05/2013 06:27

I did leave Dc1, but only as MIL was dying and he wasnt allowed on the ward she was on.

Didnt leave DC 2&3 until 5-6 months for an evening and a year ish overnight but that's mainly because breastfeeding made it hard.

I dont judge anyone else for having a break...in fact I'd be a wee bit envious Smile

ivanapoo · 04/05/2013 06:33

My son was left overnight with grandparents at two weeks old, I was back at work five days after, it's the way of the world these days!

Is it really? This sounds highly unusual to me. I struggle to see why you'd want/need a full overnight break at just two weeks old.

I'd say there's a world of difference between leaving a 2 week old and a 4 month old overnight though

Personally I'd even find it very hard to leave my 4 month old overnight for the whole night as I'd start to worry about him and miss him, but I have had an evening out and left him with my husband and you're right that it is important to have a bit of me-time to stay sane.

Joiningthegang · 04/05/2013 06:33

Sounds good to me - we left dd at 11 weeks. Didn't have chance with the boys until they were older :(

Don't concern yourself with the opinions of other or you will be spending the next 18 years + in turmoil!

TheFallenNinja · 04/05/2013 06:34

Fair play. I don't see why not. Grinding yourself into the ground when there is an alternative seems daft.

mathanxiety · 04/05/2013 06:39

I would never do it. I bfed them all.

dogsandcats · 04/05/2013 06:50

Do you trust them? I expect you do.
So just make sure you leave them instructions, written down if necessary.

The real point is not others opinion, but yours and your partners.
No one else know your GPs properly but your family.
Just rememebr that asking other's opinions on things to do with your baby, can sometimes only be a rough guide. They cannot hope to know somethings that only you can know.

dogsandcats · 04/05/2013 06:55

Now I have reread your subject title, you are trying to ask if it is "acceptable".
I learnt early on with my chilrdren, that they are mine and my DHs alone. We were, and still are responsible.
You need to bring them up by what you think is acceptable, and not always be swayed by others, even if that does mean that you are in the minority on occasions.

Also, as they get older, each child is different.
So what is indeed good for the majority, may actually sometimes not be right for your child.

Abra1d · 04/05/2013 06:55

YANBU.

meganorks · 04/05/2013 07:10

I left DD with gp for a feed while I slept from wk 1 or 2. Not quite the same really as they were just downstairs with her. But fine even when ebf - just expressed a bottle. Think she stayed overnight for the first time about 3 or 4 months.
Don't see the problem if you know and trust babysitters, they are used to caring for baby and they are willing (mine couldn't wait!)

wigglesrock · 04/05/2013 07:46

Yes I've done it, I left dd2 with my parents at 4 months for 3 nights and I left dd3 at 10 months for 2 nights. Dd1 wasn't left overnight until 16 months - mainly due to lack of invites tbh Wink

HollyBerryBush · 04/05/2013 07:52

You do what you are comfortable with. I wouldnt have had any qualms at leaving any of mine with parents or PILS from day one!

my mate went back to work after two weeks leaving DS with MIL, then buggered off oin a 6 month contract abroad when he was a few months old. Didn't do him any harm, he's very well adjusted! In the rest of the world it's perfectly normal to have extended family help with child rearing.

EggsMichelle · 04/05/2013 07:53

Left my DS at il's for a couple of hours at 6wks as we were all having a major breakdown/meltdown! Made the world of difference. Left him over night at il's when he was 2m old. They love having him, he gets lots of play and interaction with my young SIL and BIL, and I get a night with DH. Everyone one wins! When I go back to work next week it will be a weekly arrangement (best IL's ever!)

Fuckwittery · 04/05/2013 07:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grumpyinthemorning · 04/05/2013 08:00

I left ds with family for an evening at 2 weeks, I was getting cabin fever! Holly is right, it's perfectly normal for extended family to help out. It's crazy to think we could do it all ourselves.

MNBlackpoolandFylde · 04/05/2013 08:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

janey68 · 04/05/2013 08:04

We left dd for the evening at about 4 weeks because we had tickers for a gig we'd booked before ii even fell pregnant. Btw i bf my children until they were well over a year, so it's not incompatible with that (important to emphasis that as some people imply they won't leave their baby because of bf