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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think I'm going to be this tired forever...

16 replies

Kat101 · 30/04/2013 21:20

I am 38 and we have 3 DC's, 8 5 and 2. I can't remember the last time I woke up feeling refreshed, in fact I generally feel only marginally better than I did before going to bed the night before. Its like existing in a hazy fog, doing everything right and going through the motions but not having any mojo. No lie ins - kids weekend hobbies have put pay to that, no daytime couple time (save a couple of evenings out per year).

Is this normal? As children get older do you get less tired / more energy / get your mojo back? Or does it not work like that?

OP posts:

starfishmummy · 30/04/2013 21:23

Well it could just be "lifestyle" but have you thought of having your thyroid checked?

GoingToBedfordshire · 30/04/2013 21:27

I hope that YABU - can offer sympathy as DC are 6, 4 and 2 and I am knackered. Am hoping that it is the 2 year old at the root of it and as she gets older I will be able to sit down for more than a minute. Do you work? Get much support? Hoping someone further down the line can come on and give us hope!

Original poster

Kat101 · 30/04/2013 21:37

Thyroid is ok. I work 3 days a week as its far easier than being at home with toddler all day. I just wonder if the hope of ever waking up revitalised again is too much to ask!

OP posts:

McNewPants2013 · 30/04/2013 21:39

Im always tired and got a caffine addiction because of it.

cozietoesie · 30/04/2013 21:41

Have you thought of going off by yourself for a holiday weekend, Kat ? It's possible to arrange one quite inexpensively.

Flumpyflumps · 30/04/2013 21:42

If you have an iPhone or similar there's an app I use by Glenn Harold I think, it's a sleep relaxation thingy, I always wake up feeling a new woman when I listen to it before bed.

Disclaimer - check you are OK to use it first as there's some medical conditions I think that can't!! Your mind slows right down

GoingToBedfordshire · 30/04/2013 21:46

No, not too much to ask! Do you get to bed reasonably early? My problem is that once the kids are asleep (8ish) and I've finished doing shit I have to do, I then want to have a couple of hours to read/MN/watch TV/talk to DH (hmm, am a bit worried by the priorities looking at the order in which I have written those things down). So, I rarely get to bed before 11.30. Entirely my fault, but without that time I feel like I don't know what is going on outside of my family.

Do you manage to exercise? I drag myself to yoga one evening a week and I walk a lot with the pushchair. I definitely feel worse if I skip the yoga or use the car a lot.

Original poster

Kat101 · 30/04/2013 21:51

I'm not sure what I'd do on a weekend away, but I would feel too guilty to relax probably (husband would have all 3 kids and then some hobbies clash so the kids would miss out etc).

It is true that noone except DH understands though. My mum died 5 years ago and my ILs like to offer help that is not helpful so they can then blame me for being tired as its my fault I didn't accept their 'help'

OP posts:

mercibucket · 30/04/2013 21:56

Med check your thyroid again, also ferritin, b12, folates and vit d. Then check your levels online. Then supplement whatever is lacking
I have 3 kids. We never get a lie in. I work 3 days a week. I feel fine. That's because I take daily iron, weekly vit d and daily thyroxine. My thyroid slowly failed, looking back, over a few years, and the tiredness I felt was not a normal part of having young kids.

mercibucket · 30/04/2013 21:56

valiumredhead · 30/04/2013 21:58

I felt like shit for years when ds was tiny and you have 3!! Tiredness/parenthood is a killer and I take my hat off to anyone that manages to breeze through the early years.

Original poster

Kat101 · 30/04/2013 22:02

Valiumredhead - so do you feel better now? Was there a turning point?

OP posts:

GreenShadow · 30/04/2013 22:03

Don't worry OP, mine are now teens and DH and I are now first up in the morning at weekends.

I've also found as I get older, that I need less and less sleep/have more energy. I've gone from always being in bed by 10pm to often not going to sleep till midnight (do go to bed earlier, but then read for a while).

litdog · 30/04/2013 22:06

Kat 101 I could have written your post! Same children, same ages, always knackered and was wondering JUST THE SAME THING this afternoon.

Can't offer any help but it's not just you. And I've had all my blood levels checked twice, too.

Think it just goes with the territory...

valiumredhead · 30/04/2013 22:10

I think the turning point was when ds got more independent so about 8 ish. Your littlest is still practically a baby and babies are bloody hard work. Tbh I have only recently felt like I am rested enough and ds is 12!! I think when they are young you never go into a proper deep sleep as you are always on high alert incase they wake up.

I would get everything checked just to make sire though x

valiumredhead · 30/04/2013 22:15

I have to say that one thing I would not do is weekend hobbies, if ds couldn't do it in the week then he wasn't doing it! I need one day a week at least when I can stay in my pyjamas all day if I so wish. Weekends are park and playing with mates only.

The other think that I started doing about a year ago was to make sure I got a weekend as well as everyone else, so minimum housework and easiest meals/freezer meals only and lots of family time together. This doesn't work if you work outside the home as I imagine weekends are the only chance you get to do everything.

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