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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think is he wired right WTF

20 replies

bongobaby · 28/04/2013 11:57

This week is a tough one until payday, normally I pull it together somehow, I have been ill for a few weeks and on ssp so it won,t be alot of wages coming in. I,m struggling and thought sod it I,m going to just for bloody once ask my dc father to contribute to pack lunches for the week. The normal stuff that would cost about six seven quid that I just don,t have this week. So I wrote it out on a list and ask him if ok to get it and I said thankyou.
DC comes back from contact without the pack lunch saying that the list was screwed up, thrown on the floor and told to give it back to your mum.....
FFS WTF is the problem with helping your own child out so he can eat at lunch time..... Urghhhhhhhhh

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 28/04/2013 12:00

I think you were possibly unreasonable to ask your child to pass it on to his dad. Why could you not speak to him beforehand and mention it?

Does he pay maintenance normally?

Original poster
bongobaby · 28/04/2013 12:03

I went out to the car and asked his dad if ok and passed the note to him myself, dc didn,t do it. No he doesn,t pay child support

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 28/04/2013 12:04

Why doesn't he pay regular child support?

Isityouorme · 28/04/2013 12:05

Why doesn't he pay support? Go to csa. If he doesn't give a shit about your child eating then don't let him see him.

Original poster
bongobaby · 28/04/2013 12:16

Have posted on another thread about him not paying child support.
So the least he could do was provide for packed lunch as have not ever asked him to do so before. To screw the list up infront of dc was out of order

OP posts:
BumpingFuglies · 28/04/2013 12:24

Would dc qualify for free lunches?

BumpingFuglies · 28/04/2013 12:25

And yes he is a twunt

freddiemisagreatshag · 28/04/2013 12:26

You should go to the CSA and get maintenance from him.

squeakytoy · 28/04/2013 12:33

how old is your child?

WilsonFrickett · 28/04/2013 12:35

I haven't read your other thread but fgs get to the CSA. He does need to be concerned about fleeting his child, but clearly he ain't gonna until he's made to.

Original poster
bongobaby · 28/04/2013 12:41

We don,t qualifiy for free school meals as getting working tax credit which has been cut at the moment. Hence the reason I find myself a bit low on money. why is it that for him its acceptable to opt out of feeding his child. csa been on his tail for years but apparently he thinks he is the exception in having to pay his way........And wants me to lie to them that he has been paying all these years

OP posts:
LimitedEditionLady · 28/04/2013 12:42

Yeah i dont think you need me to tell you that he is a loser.Your DC has got a good mother,kids dont forget these things and hes just shown your child that he doesnt look after him/her.i love these guys who want to be the childs pal but dont behave like a parent.why should he not pay csa?its not for you its for his flesh and blood,id want my child to know that i supported them.some blokes are too stupid to work out that its their responsibilty too.

LimitedEditionLady · 28/04/2013 12:44

He will be sorry when your child is a teen and says about their dad that he wasnt supportive and gave no money for them.too late then isnt it.

McNewPants2013 · 28/04/2013 12:44

I would go to CSA with every tiny bit of info you have.

What arsehole lets his child go without food, it not like you ask for money it was packed lunch things bastard Angry

Original poster
bongobaby · 28/04/2013 13:05

my dc at 11 said looks like my dad doesn,t care about me, how sad is that. A grown man who shows his own child how nasty he is and making dc insecure..
I would never lie to the csa for him and maybe thats just what his problem is, but there is no need for him to take it out on dc

OP posts:
MammaBrussels · 28/04/2013 13:12

Could you let the school know that you're struggling and see if the DC could have school meals for a week or two? I know the last school I worked at used to do it for parents. Good luck, your ex sounds like a twat.

Needsgoodadvice · 28/04/2013 13:26

How bloody awful! #wa*ker. :(

Pigsmummy · 28/04/2013 14:30

Just tell the school that the your tax credits have been stopped and ask them to asses for free school meal? Also contact the CSA and say that you are struggling as you have no contribution from your ex. Two simple phone calls tomorrow could change this situation.

IneedAsockamnesty · 28/04/2013 14:48

Pigsmummy.

That would be fraud. The op has said she gets some wtc, even if you only get 10p wtc you are prohibited from getting free school meals no matter what they rest of your income is. Even if that income is less than the upper limit fsm set.

BenjaminButton172 · 28/04/2013 17:23

It may be worth asking the school to help however dont lie to them. Just say that it has been a bad month and could they provide meals for a few weeks. And next month if u are able to pay the money back to the school.

What a complete bastard your ex is.

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